Lost Along the Way(78)

“What do you like about it?” he asked. They slowed so Jane could adjust the strap on her heel.

“I like that I have the chance to be a different person. I like trying to get inside the minds of women from different eras or cultures or walks of life and figure out what it would’ve been like to live their lives. It’s a lot more interesting pretending to be other people than just being me. I’m pretty boring.” She hoped that Doug wouldn’t find her silly or flighty. He didn’t seem like he was much of a dreamer, and she wasn’t sure he was going to understand where she was coming from. A lot of people didn’t.

“I don’t think so at all. In fact, I think you’re one of the most intriguing people I’ve ever met,” he said, flashing her a smile that immediately put her at ease.

“You do?” They found a bench and sat, watching the traffic barrel up Central Park West and giving Jane’s feet a much-needed break.

“I do. I admire you for sticking with your dream for as long as you have. Like you said, a lot of people would’ve given up on it by now, but you haven’t. That tells me you’re passionate, and committed. I love that you loved the opera and were really looking forward to experiencing something new, but that you don’t need to be wined and dined all the time to be happy. You would’ve been just as comfortable at home on the couch with a movie. You’re grounded. And I love that you had the nerve to call me that first day we met. I was just a random guy in a bar. You didn’t know anything about me, but you still called because you’re adventurous. I don’t know why you think you’re boring, but I assure you that that’s very far from the truth.”

“That might be the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me. And that includes more than one seedy casting director who tried to get me on his couch. You’re a special guy, Doug Logan. I think I knew that the day we met. That’s why I called you.”

“I’ve worked hard for a long time to get where I am. I worked hard in college, then I worked hard in business school, and then I worked hard at my job. And now I finally have most of what I’ve wanted from my career. The one thing I’ve never really had time to focus on was my personal life. But then you appeared, and now everything seems to be falling into place. Which is crazy, isn’t it? People always told me that that would happen, but I thought it was bullshit. Now I’m beginning to see that it can actually happen that way. I’m forty and I’m just beginning to realize that you can have everything at the same time. I always thought I’d have to sacrifice one for the other. You make it so easy to not have to choose.”

“Thank you,” Jane said, still swimming in the compliments he’d just given her.

“You’ve taught me that you can always find a way to get what you want,” he said.

“If you’re resourceful and smart, that’s probably true,” she agreed.

“And creative. Never underestimate the power of creativity.”

With that he pulled her up from the bench and hailed a cab. They nestled in the backseat and continued uptown, Jane wondering the whole ride how she possibly got so lucky.

Jane’s daydream was interrupted when a raindrop fell squarely on her nose. She opened her eyes and saw clouds rolling in overhead, the first bad weather they’d experienced since they’d been at the beach. “I guess it’s time to go inside,” she said. She tried very hard to not think about the beginning of her relationship with Doug. For a while she’d gone over every conversation, every minute they’d spent together, trying to figure out whether she could’ve seen any of this coming. Eventually Jane had accepted that beating herself up for allowing him to fool her wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Sure, she had her regrets, probably more than most people, but there was no point in dwelling on them. Somehow she had to find a way to leave it in the past and move on. She just hadn’t figured out how to do that yet.

“I’ll grab the wine. I’m getting hungry anyway. Jane, you need to eat something. I don’t care if you’re not hungry. At least let me make you a snack,” Meg said as she grabbed the bottle off the table and opened the sliding glass door.

“Okay. I guess it won’t kill me to have some cheese and crackers. Especially since I’m dead already.”

“Good girl,” Cara said as they got up from the chairs on the deck and headed back inside. “Besides, it’s probably going to be nasty for the rest of the night anyway. A nice cozy fire sounds pretty dreamy. Don’t you think?”

“Sure. Why not?” Jane answered. “It’s Sunday night. What else do we have to do with ourselves?”

An hour later they sat in the den with a fire roaring and a plate of cheese, crackers, and dried apricots on the coffee table in front of them. “You know what the crazy thing is?” Jane asked.

“There’s only one thing? Really?” Cara teased.

“That he didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth from the beginning. The whole time he was doing whatever it was he was doing he never told me about it. Why do you think that is?”

“That’s kind of a hard conversation to have with your wife,” Cara offered. “Don’t get me wrong, I agree with you. He should never have allowed you to be blindsided the way you were. But what was he supposed to say? ‘Hi, honey, I’m home, and by the way I’m going to jail for fraud’? He probably didn’t want to admit it to himself.”