Lost Along the Way(75)

“I’m serious, Jane!” Cara said, a somewhat inappropriate giggle escaping her lips.

“Are you laughing? I can’t believe you’re laughing!” Jane said, surprised that a small laugh grew in her belly, too.

“I’m sorry, I know that this isn’t funny. Except it kind of is,” Cara said. “Just a little.”

“You two are sick. There is nothing funny about this!” Meg said. Jane smiled in spite of everything at the ferocity of Meg’s reaction. Jane loved that Meg would never laugh at something so sadistic. She was too nice a person. Plus, she was hugely superstitious and probably thought that laughing about Jane’s death would somehow make it a reality. There weren’t enough muffins on earth to bring her back from that if Jane were to suddenly drop dead in the living room. “Honestly, Jane. What are you going to do about this? Can you call the news yourself and issue a statement?”

“I don’t know. I probably should call my doorman and make sure that my crazy-ass neighbors haven’t tried to sell my apartment out from under me by enacting some death clause in the co-op bylaws, and I should probably call my parents and make sure that they know I’m fine in case word travels down south. My brother, too. He will just love this.”

“You should probably call Alecia what’s-her-name and tell her that she should eat her microphone before she goes on the news again and says something that ridiculous,” Meg added—harsh words, coming from her.

“They’re probably trying to draw you out and force you to issue a statement. I think the fact that you’ve said nothing is driving them crazy,” Cara suggested.

“What makes you think that?” Jane asked. She wasn’t trying to antagonize the press; she was just trying to pretend they weren’t there.

“I don’t know,” Cara answered, though the look on her face made it quite clear that this was not the first time the thought had crossed her mind.

“Except, I think you do,” Jane responded, demanding an answer. “Tell me.”

“It’s just that every time I saw something about this on the news and you refused to comment, it made me wonder if you knew more than you were saying. I’m sorry, but I wondered. And if I wondered, then you can bet other people are wondering, too.”

“Cara!” Meg gasped. “How could you say that?”

“Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you didn’t think it! I’m sorry, Jane, if I’d been privy to anything that was going on I wouldn’t have doubted you for a minute. But I knew as much about this as anyone else who read the paper, and I was curious! So are other people. That’s all I’m saying. People are dying to hear you tell a different side of the story, any side. And you’re not giving it to them. So now the press is just beating the drapes to see what falls out.”

“I never thought about it that way,” Jane admitted. It hurt to hear Cara say she had doubted her, but Jane understood it. Most women know their husbands; most women have intuition that tells them when something isn’t right. She didn’t. That made her hard for people to understand. It made it really hard for her to understand herself. “I always felt like it wasn’t my fight because it wasn’t my crime, and I shouldn’t be forced to speak out about anything. People who say there’s no such thing as bad press have clearly never had any. They’ve tormented me for so long under the bullshit First Amendment crap that saying nothing seemed like the only option I had. I just never thought any of it would go on this long. I thought they’d get bored chasing the woman who never said anything and would leave me alone. I underestimated them.”

“Why don’t you release a statement?” Meg asked. “You must have a PR firm you can contact. Aren’t there crisis people who handle this stuff? Do you know anyone who knows Justin Bieber? His people have been busy. Maybe they could help?”

“No, I don’t know anyone who knows Justin Bieber. After just seeing my possible death reported on the news, that’s the second strangest thing I’ve heard someone say today.”

A quick knock on the door interrupted their conversation, and Nick and Sebastian entered. The screen door slammed shut and Sebastian barked a high-pitched yelp, his tail wagging so vigorously that when he ran by the console table, he actually rattled a picture frame. He scurried up to Meg and thrust his furry head into her lap, begging for some attention. If only that technique worked as well for humans, Jane thought.

“Well, ladies, it seems we have a problem,” Nick said, pulling a beer out of the fridge and popping the top with a bottle opener attached to his key chain. He might have been the straightest gay man in America.

“Did you see the news, too?” Meg asked.

“No. Why, what’s on the news?” Nick responded.

“Jane may be dead,” Cara answered.

“They never actually said that,” Meg pointed out.

“It was implied. So I guess that means we’re in the middle of a séance. Does anyone have any questions they want answered from the great beyond?” Jane asked. “I’ll do my best.”

“They said you were dead?” Nick asked, a grin creeping over his stubbled face.

“Yup,” Jane answered.

“I repeat, they never actually said that!” Meg said again.

“Whatever. Maybe it was wishful thinking on their part.”