Lost Along the Way(76)

“Well, I don’t mean to kick you when you’re down, but I ran into the girl who took your coffee orders the other day in town this morning. She recognized you, Jane,” Nick added.

“Tell her I don’t give autographs.”

“I don’t think that’s what she was after. She took a picture of you guys in the coffee shop on her phone. She was planning on selling it to the tabloids.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jane asked as she jumped off the couch, having had enough of people attacking her for one day. “This is the Hamptons. There are famous people—legitimate celebrities—all over the place. Why would anyone care that I was out here in a coffeehouse?”

“Because Sheila is bored and not making as much money in tips as she was during the summer, that’s why,” Meg answered.

“Anyway, I deleted the photo, so you have nothing to worry about on that front. That said, she’s onto you, and she has a big mouth. If you were looking to hide out I’m afraid your days are numbered.”

“How much money do you think a photo of me in a coffeehouse would go for?” Jane asked.

“Less than a photo of you naked, I’d imagine,” Cara answered.

“Depends on who you’re naked with,” Nick offered.

“True. But since no guy with any concern for his reputation would be caught anywhere near me, naked pictures are probably not in my future. Unless you’re offering, Nick?”

“Sorry, I’m not. But I swear, it has nothing to do with your husband being a criminal. It’s because girls have cooties.”

“Right.”

“Look, I just wanted you to know that you’re not entirely off the radar. Maybe, considering this news report bullshit, that’s a good thing. What do I know? But if you don’t want to give Sheila a second chance at a snapshot, maybe steer clear of the coffeehouse.”

“Meg’s coffee is better anyway,” Jane said.

“I think you need something stronger after this,” Meg added.

“You’re right, Meg. I deserve to have a few drinks after this. We all do. I deserve an A for effort for not having one earlier in the day, but circumstances have changed. Wine. We need wine. Pronto.”

“I stopped and picked some up on my way over, but I left it in my car. I’ll go grab it,” Nick offered.

“This is kind of like my funeral. If I’m going to be present for it, I want a drink,” Jane joked.

“Seems like a reasonable request,” Nick answered.

“I’ll start lunch,” Meg said, fishing some of the vegetables Jane had brought home out of the drawer in the refrigerator.

“I’m not that hungry,” Jane said. “I think maybe I’ll just have a liquid lunch.”

“What about all the things you bought from the farm stand? You don’t want to try anything?” Meg asked, hoping she’d be able to guilt Jane into eating something.

“No thanks,” Jane said, once again feeling lost in a way she hadn’t since she’d left the city three days ago. “I just lost my appetite.”





twenty-five


Did I ever tell you guys about the time Doug took me to the opera?” Jane asked a few hours later, after Nick had left and she’d drunk a few glasses of wine. They had decided to get away from the TV and were sitting outside on the back deck, enjoying the last of the afternoon sun, hoping that some fresh air would make Jane feel a little better. Jane knew that Cara and Meg were racking their brains for something helpful to say but were coming up empty. So Jane figured it was better if they just listened. “It was probably two or three months after we’d started dating.”

“I don’t think so,” Meg said. “You never really talked about him all that much.”

“Until you told us you’d married him,” Cara added. “Is it too soon to joke about that?”

“Nah. I deserve that. I guess I didn’t really talk about him much, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want you to know about him. I think I was afraid to let people know how much I loved him. I knew it made me vulnerable and I hated that. I guess I figured if you never knew about him, you’d never know it if he left me. That was my biggest fear back then, that one day he’d call me up and tell me he wanted to break up with me. I was so insecure that I remember thinking I’d just die if that happened, that it would be the absolute worst thing in the world. Guess I underestimated that one, huh?”

“Tell us about the date,” Cara encouraged her.

“It was really nice. We went to dinner uptown at an Italian place in his neighborhood. He knew the ma?tre d’ and they treated him like a king. You know the drill, the small table in the back corner, after-dinner drinks on the house, the whole bit. I felt special just being there with him. I think about that night a lot, and I wonder if he was already crooked at that point. I like to think that something was real. At least in the beginning, you know? I like to think that I fell in love with a good man and that he wasn’t just playing me. Otherwise my whole relationship was just one big con, right? Just like everything else in his life. Did I imagine everything? Is it possible that I was so lonely and desperate for attention at that point that I made our relationship up? Was I just a trophy wife the entire time? Someone to hang off his arm at business functions?”