Highly Illogical Behavior(24)



But when she came over on that Monday in April to celebrate his new social life, Grandma walked in with her hands full of pool toys instead. Bright-colored floating noodles flopped around in the air above her, bumping into the walls as she started showing off each gift to Solomon and his parents.

“For diving,” she said excitedly, letting five yellow plastic rings slide down one arm and onto the floor. “Goggles. Even some floaties, you know, in case you forgot how to swim!”

Solomon stepped forward and started helping her—finding more diving rings, three more pairs of goggles, some swim trunks, and even a Speedo. He held the bright orange bikini up and gave his grandmother a puzzled look.

“You never know,” she said. “You could train for the Olympics with all the time you have.”

Solomon took the Speedo and rubber band–style shot it at his dad, who caught it midair and then held it up to his waist.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to look good in this puppy.”

“Grandma, cancel the pool,” Solomon said.

“Fine,” she said. “You all make fun, but in Europe, that’s what they wear. A little culture wouldn’t hurt anyone around here.”

“Noted,” said Solomon’s dad, grabbing one of the pool noodles and hitting his son on top of the head with it.

“Thanks, Grandma,” Solomon said, putting a pair of goggles on. “How do I look?”

“Perfect.”

And since it looked like maybe she’d cry, he pretended he was swimming through the air toward her and gave her a quick hug.

Later, Solomon inflated a large bright green inner tube on the living room floor while his parents and grandma chatted over coffee and dessert on the sofa. When he was done, he stood up and fell backward right into the center of it.

“Looks comfortable,” Grandma said. “Your father broke his tailbone in middle school and had to sit on something very similar. Only smaller, of course. You remember that, Jason?”

“I broke my ass, Mom. Of course I remember.”

“I felt like the worst mother in the world,” she said, laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. “I lost it every time I saw that little cushion. I couldn’t help it.”

“You see, Sol?” his dad said. “This is why we never let you stay at Grandma’s when you were younger.”

“That’s not true,” she said. “I kept you all the time. You were my little sidekick.”

“She used you to sell houses,” his dad added. “Dressed you in a little suit and tie and took you with her to show properties.”

“Resourcefulness is not something I’ll apologize for,” she defended. “That’s how you build a business.”

“Joan Reed Realty,” Solomon’s dad said. “We’ll take you home . . . after you give us your life’s savings.”

“I miss grounding you,” Grandma said, scowling at her son. “Sol, tell me all about this Lisa girl.”

“She’s nice,” he said.

“Nice?” she asked, looking over toward her son and daughter-in-law. “This kid of yours, he’s so . . . expressive, you know?”

“We’ve worked very hard on him,” Solomon’s dad joked.

“C’mon, spill it, kid,” Grandma said.

“Okay, umm . . . she’s funny, too. And, I don’t know, laid back, I guess. It just wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”

“That’s good to hear,” she said, looking around to each person in the room and nodding her head.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “She came over Saturday night, too.”

“And yesterday,” his dad added.

“Really?” Grandma asked. “Solomon, do you have a girlfriend?”

“No. It’s not like that,” he said.

“Okay, so what did you and your friend do then, with all that time together?”

“We watched movies and played chess mostly.”

“Speaking of,” Grandma said. “Let’s you and me go play a game so I can get the real gossip, okay?”

“Sure.”

Once they were in the den, he set up a little folding table and they both started shuffling without a word. Skip-Bo was no joke to Solomon and his grandmother and since he’d been on a winning streak lately, he knew she’d be out for blood. But as soon as the cards were dealt and they started playing, all she wanted to do was talk about Lisa.

“Wow,” she said. “You’re really doing it, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“You’ve made a new friend. You say you’re going in the backyard soon. You’re getting better, kiddo.”

“Please don’t say that.”

“Why not? Why shouldn’t we celebrate it?”

“Because it’s just too much, okay? It’s not that big a deal.”

“It’s big enough,” she said. “Who knows, in a few years, you could be ready to face the world again.”

“Trust me,” he said. “It’s not a switch I can turn on and off, Grandma.”

“Slow and steady wins the race,” she said.

“I’m not sure that applies here.”

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