Highly Illogical Behavior(28)

“Don’t do that,” he said. “I’m allowed to be frustrated, Lisa.”

“I know. But, this will fix everything.”

“You think so?” he said sarcastically. “I can’t wait to be the third wheel with you and the kid you’re scamming.”

“Watch it,” she said, shooting him a look that made him flinch.

“Seriously, though. Am I supposed to pretend you’re not using him? Do I have to lie, too?”

“I’m not lying,” she said. “I am his friend. That part’s real. It didn’t have to be, but it is. And he never has to find out anyway. We’re the only ones who know about that essay.”

“Shit. Tell me why I’d want to do this again?”

“Because he needs you,” she said. “And I need you. I know it feels wrong, I do. I’m not naive. But I think it’s the only way. Plus, it’s too late to undo what I’ve done . . . which is nothing short of damn impressive in terms of experimental psychological treatments.”

“Jesus, Lisa. Talk like a human.”

“Clark, you’re going to meet him and you’re going to know why I can’t give up. You’ll see what I see. We have to help him out of there. The world needs him.”

“Fine,” he said. “But if he’s weird, I’m not going back. I don’t care if it ruins your experimental psychological treatment or not.”

Since Lisa was afraid Clark would change his mind again, she planned to take him over to Solomon’s the very next day. It would work perfectly since Jason and Valerie were having one of their date nights. Lisa figured the fewer people the better, just in case Solomon, or Clark for that matter, was feeling particularly anxious.

When they were standing at his front door the next afternoon, Lisa looked over at Clark and just by raising one eyebrow, asked if he was ready.

“I feel like I should have a gift or something,” he said.

“You’re not taking him to prom. Just relax.”

When the door opened, Solomon stood silently on the other side. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans, something Lisa had never seen on him, a button-down shirt, and, much to Lisa’s surprise, shoes.

“New shoes?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, looking down at them. “Mom had to guess my shoe size. They’re a little big.”

“Why do you need them?” Clark asked. “I mean, sorry . . . just . . . I don’t think I’d ever wear them if I . . .”

“Sol, meet Clark Robbins. Master of the foot-in-mouth.”

“Hi,” Solomon said.

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Solomon.”

Clark extended a hand and Lisa watched as they shook, him standing outside, Solomon standing inside, the divide between their worlds never clearer to her. And, like it was just another day, Solomon stepped aside and closed the door after they’d entered.

“You guys want something to drink?” he asked. “A snack maybe? Mom said to ask as soon as you got here.”

“No thanks,” Lisa said. “And don’t offer Clark food. He eats like a pre-hibernation bear.”

“I do,” he said. “It’s disgusting.”

“No food then,” Solomon said. “Should we sit or something?”

Lisa led the way to the living room and took a seat on the sofa. She crossed her legs and looked up with a face that said, You should be sitting down, too, you morons. So, Solomon took the chair by the fireplace and Clark sat next to Lisa, throwing his arm over the back of the sofa.

“This is weird, yeah?” Solomon asked, looking at the floor.

“You know what’s weird?” Clark said. “Stonehenge.”

“And Easter Island,” Lisa added.

Solomon looked up at them the way he should’ve—like they weren’t making any sense—and then let out a little laugh.

“Well, Clark,” he said, “as you can see, I don’t get out much. So, please explain to me why water polo is fun.”

“Water polo? I thought I was just on a really bad swim team.”

Lisa rolled her eyes at Solomon, who was, of course, laughing with Clark. These two were a match made in bad joke heaven.

“I’ve been trying to get a laugh like that out of him for a long time,” Lisa said, crossing her arms.

“Can I ask you guys something?” Solomon said, his expression suddenly grave.

“Sure.”

“How do you do it? These things are killing me.”

He raised one leg and pointed to his shoe. It looked about a size too big and was a little out of style. This made her like him even more.

“You’re going to have to get used to them again,” Lisa said. “Your feet have become too delicate.”

“Virgin feet,” Clark added without hesitation.

“Great band name,” Solomon said.

“Clark Robbins and the Virgin Feet,” Lisa said.

“I like it.” Clark nodded. “Or maybe just Virgin Foot.”

“Ew,” Lisa said. “You made it weird.”

“Did I?” he asked Solomon.

“Kind of.”

“Okay . . . okay,” Clark said. “Can I ask you something, dude?”