Highly Illogical Behavior(19)

ELEVEN


    SOLOMON REED


There were no two ways about it—he was going to have to tell her. Which would be his first time ever saying it aloud. Solomon was gay. He’d realized it sometime around the age of twelve. It wasn’t a hard thing to figure out, really. He saw boys and girls differently. And he preferred seeing one to the other. It’s simple like that when you’re young. And Solomon was sure it would always be that simple for him—why would he ever need to acknowledge his sexuality if he didn’t ever plan on leaving the house again?

But he’d have to tell Lisa because now, with this Saturday night sort-of-date, Solomon was entertaining the possibility that he’d somehow struck a romantic chord with his new friend. He didn’t know any better, really. He was handsome enough. And his mom had made sure he combed his hair before Lisa’s first visit. So maybe he had charmed her in just one short afternoon. He’d surprised even himself with all his joking around and talking. Isn’t that mostly what couples do together anyway? Don’t they just act goofy and talk and then take breaks for sex and stuff?

What he couldn’t reconcile, though, was why Lisa would ever choose him over Clark Robbins. He’d seen the picture on her phone, and he knew good and well that no girl in her right mind would opt out of being with that guy for a reclusive borderline albino who didn’t even own a pair of shoes. So maybe he was being paranoid. Maybe he was reading way too much into her friendliness.

“What’re you kids going to watch? Nothing rated R I hope,” his dad asked Saturday evening as they waited for Lisa to arrive.

Solomon was lying faceup on the living room floor, staring at the ceiling and listening to the TV.

“I can’t decide,” he answered. “Nothing sci-fi.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, she’s seen the garage. I don’t want her thinking I’m one-dimensional.”

“Why do you care?” his dad asked in that nosy-parental tone he used sometimes.

“That’s a very good question, Dad.”

Solomon stood up as soon as he heard the doorbell. But once he was on his feet, he nearly fell back down. It had come on as quickly as any he’d ever had—a sudden flush in his cheeks, an unstoppable throbbing in his chest. He leaned against the wall with one whole side of his body and focused on counting. If you can get to ten, he thought, you can breathe. And he did. And he breathed.

“Dad,” he said between breaths.

“Shit,” his dad said, hopping up and running over to him. “C’mon. Let’s go back to your room.”

His mom walked out from the kitchen when the doorbell rang for the second time and, without asking, knew exactly what was going on. So, she planted a big smile on her face and opened the door.

“Lisa!”

“Hi,” Lisa said, stepping inside.

“He’ll be out in a minute. I think he’s probably trying to comb his hair or something,” she said with an amused look on her face. “Have a seat and I’ll go check.”

She walked down the hallway and into her son’s room. He was sitting on the bed, his dad beside him, leaning forward a little with his eyes closed. He was breathing. He was counting. He would be okay, but that didn’t make it any easier to see him like this. It was never easy for them.

“Should I ask her to go?” his mom asked.

“No,” Solomon managed, his eyes still closed.

When Valerie returned to the living room, Lisa was sitting on the couch and leaning over to look at a framed photograph on the side table.

“Big Bear Lake,” Valerie said. “We used to have a cabin up there. I bet we went at least once a month.”

“I love Big Bear.”

“I really miss it,” she said. “Cold weather always suited me better.”

“I like the mountains,” Lisa said. “It’s about the only thing Upland has going for it.”

“More like hills,” Valerie added. “He’ll be out in a minute.”

“Everything okay?”

“Oh yes. Last time I checked, he was trying to find a pair of matching socks.”

“I can’t even do that,” Lisa said, immediately realizing how insensitive it sounded. “Sorry . . . I didn’t mean it like . . .”

“Hush,” Valerie interrupted before pausing for a few long, quiet seconds. “I’m not naive, Lisa. Sol’s unique. He can’t find matching socks because he probably hasn’t worn them since the last time he left the house and, by my count, that was a long damn time ago.”

Lisa smiled at her, but stayed quiet. Then Valerie laughed a little to herself as she took a seat on the sofa. Suddenly, her mood shifted and she scooted up to rest her elbows on her knees before speaking to Lisa in a whisper.

“Tell me something,” she said. “Do you like him?”

“What do you mean?” Lisa asked.

“Solomon. Do you like him? Is he likable?”

“Yeah. Totally.”

“You’re not lying, right? And don’t try to spare my feelings. Solomon’s never gotten away with a lie in his life.”

“It’s the truth,” Lisa defended. “I was afraid he’d be boring.”