Highly Illogical Behavior(21)

“At least give her credit for trying. She seems really cool.”

“Pretty cool,” he agreed. “Dad too. This wouldn’t really work if they weren’t, I guess.”

“And, umm . . . do they know? That you’re gay?”

“Why waste their time with it? It’s not like it’ll ever be an issue anyway.”

“Yeah, but, it’s who you are, right?”

“I guess so,” he said. “I don’t really know how to be any way else.”

“When did you know?”

“I was twelve maybe. Something I just knew one day, even though I hadn’t known it the day before.”

“So it’s like that, huh? A feeling? Not just being into other dudes?”

“Oh no, it’s that too. Of course it’s that. But it’s more, I think. Not so much a feeling as a fact, like having blue eyes or brown hair. It’s just maybe something you don’t discover until you’re ready to understand it better.”

“Like being straight,” she said. “Only we don’t have to deal with all that closet bullshit.”

“Bingo,” he said.

She slipped off her shoes, and put her feet up with his.

“Oh,” he said, standing up. “I have candy.”

“Make it happen, Cap’n,” she said.

When he got back from the kitchen, a box of Mike and Ike’s in one hand and Hot Tamales in the other, he sat much closer to her, so close their elbows occasionally grazed during the entire movie. And like they’d done it a million times, without even thinking about it, they silently passed the candy back and forth between them with their eyes locked on the screen.





TWELVE


    LISA PRAYTOR


Lisa ended up staying at Solomon’s house until well after midnight. Then, just as they were about to say good-bye at the front door, she asked if she could give him a hug.

“Sure,” he whispered. “But make it quick.”

She didn’t. She held on just long enough for him to know she meant it. And she did mean it. He had told her something he’d never told anyone else in his entire life. If that isn’t friendship, then what is? She was in the inner circle now. Hell, she was the inner circle. And all the progress she’d made in just two visits with Solomon was enough to help her ignore that little pang of guilt she was feeling in her stomach.

“You can tell Clark, too,” he said before she left. “He should probably know he’s got nothing to worry about.”

Even though it was one in the morning before she got home, she needed to talk to Clark. He was at his dad’s again, so she knew he’d be up late eating junk food and playing video games or something. And he was.

“Yellow,” he answered. She could hear a TV in the background.

“Well, you don’t have to be jealous of Solomon anymore.”

“Bad date?” he joked.

“He’s definitely gay.”

“Oh. Funny.”

“Funny?”

“Not funny ha-ha, but, you know, funny like my girlfriend’s other boyfriend is gay.”

“Shut up,” she said. “Anyway. I just wanted you to know.”

“Great. I’ll alert my mom. She’ll have some bibles mailed over ASAP.”

“It’s nothing to joke about, Clark.”

“Sorry. I think it’s great he told you. Sounds like he needed someone to talk to.”

“I guess so,” she said. “He asked his parents for a pool.”

“He goes outside? I’m confused.”

“No. But he says he’s going to.”

“Crazy,” he said. “But not like crazy crazy. You know what I mean.”

“It was sort of sad,” she said. “He told me he isn’t sure he’ll ever tell his parents. Says it’s a nonissue.”

“He’s not wrong, is he? If he never leaves the house, what’s it matter?”

“It’s not just about that though, right?”

“I don’t know. If I never left my house again and I didn’t already have you, I don’t think being straight or gay would matter at all. Well, outside of my Google searches.”

“Gross.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s bigger than that,” she said. “Maybe that’s part of it. Of what’s wrong with him. He doesn’t know how to be himself because he thinks it doesn’t matter who he is. This could factor hugely into his social anxiety.”

“Lisa, you meet this guy once and the second you show up again, he’s coming out to you. That doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t being himself, does it?”

“No,” she answered. “That’s what makes it more confusing. He’s a little anxious, sure, but otherwise, he’s like us. Easy to talk to. Funny. Really funny, actually. I just don’t know why he can’t deal with anything out here. I think he’s as capable as anyone.”

“Obviously not,” Clark said. “But you think being his friend is the best way to help him?”

“That’s the plan,” she said. “Start with me and then eventually bring you into the mix. Show him what he’s missing out here.”