Highly Illogical Behavior(18)


She got her phone off the bedside table, and the light from the screen nearly blinded them both. Seven thirteen p.m.

“Shit,” she said. “Your mom. Get up. Shit shit shit.”

“It’s okay. Maybe she’s not home yet.”

“I can hear her. Now get up and help me sneak out.”

“She doesn’t care,” he said. “I promise.”

Out of all the times Lisa had come over after school like this, she’d never stayed long enough to see Patty Robbins home from work. She’d always just assumed that they’d both get into big trouble if they were caught upstairs in his room with the door shut. His mom was a churchgoer, after all, and Lisa figured teenage sex wasn’t high on her list of Jesus-approved activities.

“Oh my God.” She walked over to the window, looking down into the backyard.

“Your car’s out front, Lisa,” he said. “She already knows you’re here anyway.”

“Shit.”

She gave him a blank stare and started putting her socks and shoes on. Then she tied her hair up and tried to compose herself.

“This is so embarrassing,” she said. “What do we do?”

“MOM!” Clark shouted.

“What the hell?” Lisa whispered.

She could feel her cheeks turning a warm red. A few seconds later, Patty Robbins poked her head through the door. “Yeah, hon?”

“Lisa’s here. We took a nap.”

“Oh. Hi, Lisa. Great. Stay for dinner?”

“S . . . sure,” she managed.

“Taco Thursday!” she said loudly, vanishing from sight.

“I told her it’s supposed to be Taco Tuesday, but she won’t listen,” Clark said.

Lisa took a seat on the bed and started laughing.

“I was so scared,” she said, slapping Clark on the arm.

“We work under complete transparency here.”

“What do you mean?”

“She trusts me,” he answered, shrugging his shoulders.

And why wouldn’t she? He’s had his girlfriend in his bedroom alone countless times now and had, every single time, failed to seal the deal. Lisa shook her head and looked at him. He was too nice to be mad at, which sometimes drove her absolutely insane. But not tonight. She didn’t want to fight. She just wanted to have dinner with his nice little normal family.

Lisa stayed for a while after, watching TV with Clark and Drew and wondering how late she’d have to stay out to avoid running into her mother again. Around eleven o’clock, she decided she’d better head home, so Clark walked her out to her car.

“So, movie this Saturday? Something scary?” he asked, leaning down outside of her car window.

“Oh,” she said. “Umm . . . I sort of have plans, actually.”

“Plans? What kind of plans?”

“Solomon,” she said with her teeth clenched.

“Solomon . . .” he said slowly.

“Seriously? Are you upset because I . . .”

“I’m just . . . I guess I’m not really sure what to do with myself now.”

“Now? Clark, this isn’t going to be every weekend. I promise.”

“I want you to be up front with me,” he said.

“Of course.”

“Anything I need to worry about with this guy? Because you say it’s for your essay thing, but it seems weird that you’re already going back over there.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” she said. “I don’t think he swings my way, if you know what I mean.”

“Convenient.”

“Don’t be like that,” she said. “I’ve told him all about you. Nothing to worry about.”

“Try to see it from my side, Lisa.”

“Well, maybe you can meet him eventually,” she said. “He’s into Star Trek. Did I tell you that?”

“No,” he said, turning her way, excitement in his eyes. “Next Generation?”

“Yep.”

“I take it all back,” he said. “This guy sounds amazing.”

“He’s . . . interesting. But, nice. And funny, too. I didn’t think he’d be funny.”

“Do you think I’m funny?” Clark asked.

“Funny looking,” she said.

“Please. I bet you dream about this face at night.”

“Yep,” she played along. “My dreams are just your face with lasers shooting out of the eyes.”

“Awesome.”

“Anyway, let me make sure he isn’t a complete psychopath first and I’ll figure out a good time to introduce you guys.”

“He hasn’t left his house in three years, Lisa. He’s not crazy. He’s a genius. Just TV and video games twenty-four/seven. I think he’s my new hero.”

“Who was your old one?”

“Well, there’s this old guy at the Vons on Foothill who greets you when you walk in. I think he was probably the one to beat until now.”

“You’re so weird. The grocery store greeter is your hero?”

“Was my hero. Pay attention.”

It struck her on the way home that maybe she could use Clark’s jealousy to her benefit. She figured most of it was playful enough, but if she could get him over there, it would only raise her chances of getting Solomon better—and it may even speed up the process. His therapy, after all, was about showing him that the world wasn’t the scary, chaotic place he remembered it being. And Lisa knew introducing him to Clark Robbins was maybe the best way to prove that not everything out here is so bad.

John Corey Whaley's Books