Frigid Affair(28)

“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted. “It’s too much at once.”

“What happened between us may have been a one-night-stand, but we made a baby. Just admit he’s mine. Say it out loud. It’s all I ask. If you don’t want me to know him I’ll stay away. Just tell me why you kept the baby.”

I peered over at Christopher. “Because he was my chance at happiness again. I needed him. I didn’t care how it came to be. I wanted him from the moment I found out I was pregnant. I’ve never regretted a second of it. He’s perfect. He’s everything to me,” I said as warm tears fell down my cheeks. “He’s all I have.”

“And he’s mine. He’s a part of me.”

“I don’t know why you’re asking. You already know the answer. It’s not like I have many visitors. Just because you’re his father doesn’t mean I can forgive you. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but I’ve been fooled by you before. I won’t let it happen again.” I stood, before I could give in and allow him into my life. “It’s time for us to go.”

“Stay. Just a few more minutes. Please.”

I grabbed ahold of Christopher and began putting his coat on. “I can’t keep you from living here. I mean, I could call Eve and tell her the truth, but I won’t. If you want to be here watching from afar I can’t stop you, but I want you to leave us alone. Is that clear?”

He stared at Christopher as he replied. “Yeah. You’ve made your point.”

“I’m sorry it has to be this way. I never considered myself a bitter person, but you have to put yourself in my shoes. I came here to be alone. I didn’t want my past catching up to me, yet you’ve brought it front and center. Don’t you understand? I just want to forget.”

“Thank you for keeping him, Amantha. That’s what is important. I respect your decision. I’ll stay away,” was all he managed to get out before I had to flee the scene.

I scrunched up my face with more tears falling down my face. I felt like the biggest *. This guy had been through hell and I was crushing him again. What did he expect? Did he think I’d fall into his arms so we could live happily ever after? Shit like that never happened. Our relationship was built on an explosive lie. It would never be anything more than that.





Chapter 11


I didn’t bother putting on my coat before hauling my son, the dog, and my sobbing self out of that house. I had to get as far away from him as I could.

Was I wrong about Jensen? It seemed so.

Was his confession enough to change my mind?

That’s what I couldn’t stick around to figure out.

Consumed by fear and guilt, I drove faster on my way up the mountain. It was beginning to snow, so I put Christopher facing me so it wouldn’t blow onto the little parts of his face that were left exposed. I’d never been good about checking the weather. I had no idea if they were calling for a blizzard or just an evening dusting. I almost hoped it was a blizzard to keep the distance between Jensen and my cabin. I’d always been a sucker for sob stories, and even though mine was pretty extreme, his was up there too.

Once inside of the cabin I took the heavy items off Christopher before warming myself up by the fire. A loud bark came from outside, letting me know Ava had made it up the trail. When I opened the door I peered outside to make sure he hadn’t followed us. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe his word. A part of me still wondered if he’d really be able to let go.

Unlike a normal one-night-stand, where boy meets girl, boy takes girl home, then they part ways forever, our lives were connected. Like it or not, we had a common past. We’d both suffered a tragic loss on the same day. I wanted it to help me forgive him. Perhaps that’s why he wouldn’t give up. I didn’t want to imagine what it was like for him to discover he was a father.

I felt sick to my stomach. My heart wouldn’t stop aching. Easton may have walked inside my door that night, but Jensen walked out. I could deny it all I wanted, but I knew in my gut it was true. He’d tried to tell me. I remember wondering what he was holding back. If his story was all true, if all the lies had been spun to protect me, where did this leave me? Were we supposed to be friends? Was it even possible to build a friendship after everything?



For the rest of the evening, while the wind picked up and the snow covered everything in sight, I was completely incompetent. Christopher was a force to be reckoned with. He’d managed to hit his head on a support beam in the living room area. Then he pooped his pants and played in it. After I gave him a bath, he managed to spill a sippy cup full of juice down the front of his pajamas; all of this while I was trying to justify the decisions I’d made earlier in the day.

I couldn’t keep it together. Before he settled and fell asleep I started bawling. My heart ached and I couldn’t explain why. Jensen had promised to stay away, but it only made me feel more horrible.

The wind intensified as the storm continued. The windows rattled as powerful gusts forced pressure against them. I knew my home was secure. I’d paid extra money to ensure my safety, though it still frightened me to know how dangerous conditions were becoming just outside my door. I wouldn’t have been as worried if I didn’t have a little child to care for. I’d manage, even in the toughest of conditions, but with him things became more complicated.