Frigid Affair(27)

“How did you end up at the fire?”

“At the time, I didn’t know they were responsible. I woke up to them arguing in the kitchen. They were talking about splitting the take. One of them was bitching about me staying with them. They’d come back from the house with all these fancy statues and other items. I knew they hadn’t been there before, and the fact that they were laying it all out on the table to brag was another obvious sign. As soon as I realized I announced that I was out of there. I told them I was leaving and calling the authorities. I stepped outside and saw the flames higher on the mountain. I didn’t know where you lived and assumed it was your house. I hopped on a snowmobile and hauled ass up the mountain, making them think I was running away to call the police. They followed me. When I arrived here they weren’t far behind. One of the guys pulled out a gun and told me I should have kept my mouth shut. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I insisted on going in the house to keep from being shot and bleeding out in a blizzard. I never expected to see someone on the ground. I thought I was about to die. Instinct kicked in. I didn’t lie to you about being a fireman. I wasn’t an inspector. My father-in-law is though.”

“That’s when you saved me?” I hated admitting it.

“Yes. The guys never expected me to come out of that house with you in my arms. You weren’t conscious, so I started checking you out to see if I could get you to wake up. As soon as your eyes opened he put the weapon away. To be honest, I think they were shocked you were in there. They’d just robbed the place and said it was empty.”

“Then what happened?” I asked while watching Christopher walk around touching things he shouldn’t be getting into.

“He tried to tell me to leave you in the snow. He threatened me several times, but I refused to let you freeze to death.”

“Thank you for that,” I managed to mention.

“The only way he let me take you home was by threatening you. He said if the authorities were called he’d find you and kill you with his bare hands. He even paid me a visit at the cabin to reiterate that threat.”

“Maybe you should have left me. I would have found a way to get back to my cabin. Why did you stay?”

“I had to make sure you were okay. I wanted time to think about how to tell you why I was really there. I was determined to make sure you knew why I’d traveled across the country to see you. I knew it was unlikely they’d let me leave knowing their secrets. They told me to say my goodbyes. I thought I was going to be killed, Amantha. I thought karma had caught up to me.”

“Karma? What do you mean?”

He kept his eyes on Christopher when he spoke. “Alice killed herself because of me, because of how I treated her. Your parents died because I made the choice to be an *.”

“Did you force her to commit suicide?”

“No. If I could have changed things I would have.” I noticed his voice changing, as if he were struggling to hold back his emotions.

“What happened?” I asked.

“She was f*cking my best friend. We’d gone to high school together and then joined the fire academy. Her dad was the Battalion Chief at our station. He knew about his daughter’s infidelities. She was his princess. He just expected me to forgive and forget. They f*cked on my bed. I caught them. I watched in disbelief as my best friend screwed my wife, and that son-of-a-bitch wanted me to sweep it under a rug. What kind of idiot did he take me for? He threatened my job if I didn’t stick by her. One night, after a call, we had words that turned violent quick. The police were called and I was put in jail. He had me put on suspension without pay, so I got pissed and sent Alice packing. I told her to slum it up with her lover and that I wanted nothing to do with her. I said the worst things to her that night. I called her so many unnecessary names. I wanted her to suffer like I was. Now I wish I could take it back.”

My hand was over my mouth. This was not at all how I saw our conversation going.

“Amantha, I sought you out because I felt responsible for ruining your life. You gave me an excuse to get away from it all. After Alice committed suicide I gave up everything. I let myself go. I didn’t want to live. I think I would have been okay if those men would have killed me that night. I’m sorry I lied to you. What happened between us wasn’t expected. I almost lost my shit halfway into it. You were there. You saw it for yourself. I tried to tell you so many times. I just couldn’t look into your eyes and break your heart. The longer we spent together the more I knew I had to protect you from it.”

“You let me sleep with you,” I gritted my teeth as I said it.

“I did.” He glanced at Christopher.

“Why did you come back, Jensen? Why couldn’t you stay away?”

He shook his head and shrugged. “I don’t know. I tried. I got a job doing construction in Anchorage. For a while I even felt like I could move forward.”

“What changed? More guilt?”

“Eve called. She said they were interested in renting out their house and wanted to know if I was in the market. I didn’t think she’d saved my number. I’d only called because I needed a temporary place to stay to see you. The hotel owner had given me their number when I was trying to get up the mountain, and I made something up. I swear, I had no idea any of this would happen. You have to believe me.”