Forever for a Year(67)

TREVOR


Because I’m planning something special.

And, oh my gosh, my brain got super excited. Special? Like what? So I texted him to tell me what, but he said it was a surprise. Which only made me more excited. Then I thought Trevor didn’t know how to plan something special. So I demanded he tell me or I would be mad. I didn’t want to spend a week getting excited and then be disappointed. He should disappoint me today! But he texted:





TREVOR


Then you’ll have to get mad because I’m not telling you ;) Oh my gosh! Trevor didn’t care that I would get mad! How could my boyfriend not care that I would get mad? But then I realized I was smiling. Grinning. Just a small one. Wait a minute: Did I like that he didn’t care? That would be crazy. But I think I did. I liked that he was being secretive. I liked that I had to guess. Oh my gosh, am I screwed up or what? I didn’t care. Being screwed up and excited about your boyfriend is much better than being normal and bored with him.

*

So on the following Saturday, Trevor picked me up (with his dad sitting in back) and, at first, I thought we were just driving into Riverbend to see a movie, but we drove past the theater and stopped at the train station.

“Are we going on the train?”

“How’d you figure that out?” Trevor said, smiling, but still, he was being sarcastic with me. Which … I kind of liked. As we were waiting on the platform, I asked, “Where are we going?”

“On the train,” he said. OH, HE WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY!

“WHERE on the train are we going, Trevor?”

“You’ll see, babe,” he said, then winked. Trevor was being so cool. Again. I mean, he was always cool, I guess. But then I fell in love with him and found out everything about him and I had seen him naked a thousand times and heard him pee and seen him sleep and seen him after he woke up and seen him with saliva on his face and smelled his farts and, I don’t know, he was Trevor then and not this cool, handsome new boy. But today … he was that boy again. I had to kiss him. Just had to. A big kiss. Gosh. This was amazing.

*

So we took the train into Chicago. And we got out at Union Station. I had never gone downtown on the train without my parents before, so it felt very grown-up. Then we took a cab to Michigan Avenue and we walked along the street and went into all the fancy shops, like Macy’s and Saks Fifth Avenue, and he said, “I’d like to buy you a dress.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“But how will you pay for it?”

“I’ve saved money.”

“But—”

“And you have to spend at least one hundred dollars.”

“Trevor!”

“Carolina!” he said. Mocking me! Mocking me! And I liked it!

“Trevor, why are you being so nice?”

“Because I love you.”

“Oh gosh, I love you so much.”

“You do?” he said, and I could tell he wasn’t joking. He was really asking. Oh my gosh. Trevor knew I had been thinking bad thoughts about us. He knew. Obviously he knew. He’s my soul mate. Soul mates always know.

“I love you so much, so much, so much, so much, and I just forgot to show it the right way. I’m sorry, you are the most amazing boy ever, and I’m the luckiest girl ever, and I’m so happy I want to cry.” And then I cried.

*

After he bought me a yellow one-shoulder dress from Saks, we took a cab to the Willis Tower. Which used to be the Sears Tower and the tallest building in the world. We went up super high to the Metropolitan Club and he gave the hostess his name, and she said, “Right this way, Mr. Santos,” and then she walked us to a table that overlooked the entire city and Lake Michigan from all the way up in the clouds. This was now my favorite day of my life, and I wanted to marry him right then and I wanted to kiss him and be close to him and do everything with him.

On the train ride home, I thought we should have sex tonight. Yes. I know I said I would wait until my birthday. But today I felt so, so grown-up. I felt eighteen. Even older maybe. Today was THE special day. It was. At the train station in Riverbend, his mom picked us up. She got in the back and let Trevor drive us.

“Did you have fun?” she asked.

“It was the best day of my life,” I said.

“I’m glad. Trevor spent a lot of time thinking about it.”

“My mom helped a little,” Trevor said. Everything was perfect again. His mom liked me again. Trevor was cool again. I was in love again. (I had never stopped! I’m just saying I FELT it again.) Except … Trevor took me straight to my house. I didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to kiss me? He didn’t want to go into the basement like we always did? He didn’t find me attractive anymore?

At my house, he got out and walked me to the door. I finally had to ask, “You didn’t want to hook up tonight?”

“I just wanted you to know I could have a great date with you without hooking up.”

“Really?” I said, and I almost started crying. Gosh. But I didn’t.

“Yes.”

“You made me feel sooo special today, Trevor. Like we were special together too.”

“I’m glad.”

“So can we go back to your house now and go to the basement?”