Forever for a Year(30)
Goddamn. Yeah. Screw it.
“I like you, Carolina.” I couldn’t believe the words were coming out of my mouth, and yet, it felt good. I felt free. But she didn’t say anything. Crap! Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Then I realized there was a tear in her eye. Which I didn’t understand. But it disappeared and just glistened a bit. And then that smile happened again and she said—
23
Carolina …
“I like you too,” I said. Oh. My. Gosh. I said I liked a boy. To his face. And he had said he liked me. What did this mean? I MUST KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS OR I WILL DIE.
No, Carrie. No.
Wait a minute. I should say to myself …
No, Carolina, no.
You will not die. Because you are a grown-up now. You are in high school. You went to a high school party.
And now a boy was walking me home. An amazing boy who liked me and I liked him and I would spend the rest of eternity with him. That was so silly, but it was true. Even though it was impossible, it was so true.
Part Two
A COUPLE FOR A MONTH
24
Trevor meets the other man in her life
After we had walked a long, long time, Carolina explained we were going in the wrong direction. I’m an idiot. But she, because she’s perfect, could tell I felt like an idiot, and she said, “It’s my fault! I should have said something, but I just was, you know … enjoying walking with you, so I didn’t say anything.”
“That’s why I didn’t ask,” I said, and then we both didn’t say anything. Until I said, “I can call my dad to see if he can pick us up here.”
“He won’t be mad?”
“He’ll probably be mad, but it’s almost midnight.”
“I can call my dad,” she said.
“He won’t be mad?”
“I’m mad at him, so he knows he can’t be mad at me.” So Carolina called her dad and told him to pick us up in front of the town library, which had been closed for construction since I moved here.
I asked Carolina why she was mad at her dad, and she opened her mouth but then stopped herself. I shouldn’t have asked. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean you should ask about her family. In fact, if you like her, you shouldn’t ask about her family. I know I wouldn’t like it if Carolina asked me about my mom.
“It’s okay,” I said, before she could decide to tell me or not, “I get mad at my parents too.” She shook her head, but not really up and down or side to side. Shook it all directions. So I asked her about how she liked her first week of school, and even though it was a boring question, I could tell she appreciated it. She told me about her classes as if I wasn’t in half of them, but I didn’t mind since I liked hearing her talk. Then she asked me what I thought of school, and I pretended it wasn’t pointless, because if she knew how much I hated it she probably wouldn’t like me. That makes me a liar, but I don’t know, I hope that Carolina will make school not as pointless, so maybe I won’t be a liar in the future even if I’m a liar today.
*
Her dad arrived sooner than I would have liked. I wasn’t going to kiss her—I liked her too much to kiss her so soon—but I would have liked to just be close to her, just by ourselves, for longer. Her dad drove a Prius, the old model, and it had a big dent in the side and no hubcaps. I guess Carolina’s parents don’t have that much money. I suck. I shouldn’t think about that. But I can always tell how rich people are by what their cars look like and then I can’t not think it. I don’t care that Carolina’s family doesn’t have as much money as mine. They’re probably a lot happier without it. Money sure as hell never made my mom happy.
“Scott, this is Trevor. Trevor, this is my dad, Scott,” Carolina said as she got in the front seat and I got in the back. Had to push aside three fast-food bags and some books so I could sit. Calling her dad “Scott” made Carolina seem really mature. Maybe I should call my parents by their first names.
“Nice to meet you, Trevor,” her dad said, then started driving. “What part of town do you live in?”
“Covered Bridges,” I said, and I hated that I had to say it. It was the wealthy part of town. Carolina was going to think I was a snob, which I probably was because I suck, but then she said, “Kendra lives there! It’s very nice. Scott, isn’t it really nice?”
“It is very nice. Did you grow up in Riverbend, Trevor?” Carolina’s dad had longer hair for a grown-up. Not as long as mine. But a lot longer than my dad’s. It looked cool. It also made him look younger. He wore jeans and a T-shirt—not old, boxy jeans and shirts like my dad, but designer stuff. Hip. He must be a fun dad. Don’t see how Carolina could be mad at him.
I said, “No, we just moved here from California over the summer. My mom grew up here, though.”
“I grew up in Gladys Park, the next town over. What’s your mom’s name?”
“Ashley Santos.”
“Is that her married name?”
“Oh yeah. No. Her name was Ashley McCarthy,” I said, and as I said it Carolina’s dad grinned. I didn’t like that he grinned. He knew my mom when they were kids. I didn’t like that he knew her. Not at all.