Fire In His Eyes (Secrets & Seduction #1)(21)
The lump in my throat got bigger. Why did he have to keep reminding me of this? It was as if he wanted to put a wall up between us. “That’s fine, Victor,” I lied again. “I was in a relationship like this once before. I’m a big girl.” My only relationship! It wasn’t the kind I wanted to have again. Not with him. I wanted possibilities and chances.
“You sound mad, Monica,” he stated emphatically. God, was he trying to pick a fight? I was getting mad now.
“I am not mad,” I replied on a sigh, “Just tired. I had a long day, is all.”
“I was going to come see you tomorrow, but I think I will come Thursday, I can spend more time with you then. Is that okay? Are you available?” He asked.
I paused before answering, not wanting to sound desperate. “Sure, I’ve got no plans. What time?” I asked, and although I would have liked to have seen him on both days, I kept those thoughts to myself.
“I don’t know yet. I’ll let you know,” he muttered. “Listen, the guys are calling me back. I’ll call tomorrow, okay?”
I didn’t want the phone call to end so soon, but he was making all the calls. “Okay. Good night.” I hung up before he could say anything else. I couldn’t say another word anyway because of the lump that was forming in my throat. I hadn’t known him long and I knew it was silly, but I was feeling things for him I shouldn’t feel already. Yearning, longing yes, but maybe even something a little more. He was trying to warn me off, but I didn’t know what he was trying to warn me about. He couldn’t commit to me more than a few days a month right now, but couldn’t tell me why. I was all kinds of a fool for wanting him. Would what he was offering be enough for me? I asked myself. I lied to myself when I told myself it would have to be. But, the deeper part of my mind wondered what he was doing all those other times when we were not together. Chin up, girl, I told myself. You’ve been through a lot worse. I could control my heart, couldn’t I? But, that didn’t help me to control my imagination. I didn’t sleep too much after that.
On my way home from work on Wednesday, I stopped in at the Publix on the corner of U.S. Highway Nineteen and New York Avenue, just a few blocks from my home. I needed some fresh produce. I shopped often, every couple of days to buy fresh produce. I liked my greens fresh, and after putting my purse in the front of the shopping cart, my phone rang. I reached in and saw Victor on the display screen. My pulse quickened, and I made my voice sound up beat.
“Hey, Victor.”
“Hey, Monica. You sound much better. I was worried about you,” he remarked.
“I had a better day today; my students behaved and most actually did the assignment,” I offered as an explanation.
He chuckled, “Well that is good to hear. I am sure the boys were riveted.” I laughed at his teasing. “Hey, I hear noise, you still working?”
“Actually, I am at the grocery store. I needed parsley, artichokes, asparagus, and maybe carrots.” I rattled off my shopping list and heard him chuckle.
“Mhmm,” he muttered exaggerating boredom. “Fascinating.” I laughed again.
“Sorry to bore you, Victor,” I teased back.
“You have never been boring, Monica,” his tone was once again serious. “Well, I just wanted to say hello. You did not sound like yourself last night, and I was just checking on you to make sure you were okay. I am on my way home to shower, and then a family thing came up. So, I am glad I didn’t promise to see you tonight, you would have been disappointed. But, I will see you Thursday, about nine. I will sleep over so we have a little more time together, and just leave early for work, okay?”
He’d worried about me, well that was something. “Sounds great, Victor. I am looking forward to it,” I replied keeping up my false sense of cheer. “I’ve missed you,” I blurted out, suddenly not caring that he knew I cared a little.
“Oh, Monica,” he stalled for time as I patiently waited for his reaction. “I missed you, as well. Later, Mi Cara,” and he hung up.
His words warmed me and I would make tomorrow night special, I vowed so that he would continue to miss me. I was a little disappointed that he wouldn’t be coming until nine o’clock, but he had told me he’d be able to spend more time with me if he came on Thursday. Shake it off, Monica, I told myself. Take what you can and what he’s willing to give. Don’t push too hard and don’t push him away, my head told my heart. Make what time you do have special, and I began to plan.
My sister stopped by around six o’clock on Thursday. We had dinner together. I spilled everything. I had to. She kept demanding details. She could read me better than I could read myself. She could see the dark circles under my eyes, and the puffiness. She heard the hesitation in my voice.
“Listen, Mon. I took you out so you could meet someone and have a little fun, and see that sex is good with many men. Enjoy it. Take what he has to offer for now, and keep your eyes on the horizon for the next hunk. But I have a bad feeling about this guy. Don’t fall in love with this guy.”
“That’s what he said!” I grumbled. Then, we both laughed at the joke, and the funny line often used in the comedy The Office we both enjoyed.
Her laugh trailed off, and then she sighed. “Seriously, Mon. This guy sounds like he has some deep issues. It seems to me, the guy is hiding something, and I don’t like it. Something smells fishy to me,” she stated tapping her long French manicured fingernails on the table top.”