Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(69)

She wasn’t working over forty hours—praying for overtime—and taking all her classes that she had moved online. The break in pace had given her the courage to keep going and not quit. And now that she had a breath to think, she was debating changing her major from education to social work. Her past made her want to, and it made her not want to.

Her bliss bubble, pretending all was right with the world was going to have to end now. She had to go back for exams, there was no getting around it. Dread had never felt heavier.

She understood how being away like Declan was made this deal with Nolan easier, but tested him just the same. Every day he spoke to Providence, and before and after the call Declan was a different person.

She somewhat understood why he was different with her, too, on the phone before he came home, but then again, she was bothered by it. Bothered by how once the call was over the life he had there picked up, overtook him, pulled him in deep.

For the most part it was work, but there were other times when they were hanging out with his friends, soaking in the sun. Living. There were times when Bradyville, their family, was nothing more than a haunting past, a weight they’d have to face soon, but not then.

It made her realize if he wanted to he could forget her there, but she could never forget him at home.

“How long will the exams take?” he asked as he watched her pack, knowing this time he had to let her go. If he didn’t all the cash and work she put into this semester would go up in flames—the girl didn’t know how to waste a dime.

He wasn’t worried about her job, at least the one at his family’s garage; it would always be there. They ‘accidently’ forgot not to pay her for one cycle, and the next Declan moved money into her account from his. He knew both her and Bell counted on the income.

She smiled shyly, even blushed under his commanding stare. “A week.”

“Will you come back then?”

She looked up at him, the blush he adored, the fire under her skin flamed just the way he liked it.

“You’re serious?”

She wasn’t sure what he was asking.

“Stay until I go?” he asked in a husky voice.

He already had dates. He knew past this next mission there was a long deployment. It was something he didn’t want to think about when she was close. At the same time, she was the only reason he was dealing with his last one as well as he was.

Each night, one of them would wake with a nightmare, and the other would scare the demons away. Sometimes they’d talk it out, try to get past what their minds were set on reliving; others, they’d pull each other closer, and get lost in heated fits of passion.

“Yeah,” she said in a ghost of a whisper.

He didn’t get why her shoulders deflated why she seemed sad, but assumed the worst. “I know it’s hard.”

That was his line; she had heard it a million times if she had heard it once. Lately, though, even the small hints about tomorrow, what he was going to do when his contact was up never came.

“You’re worth it,” she said, crawling across the bed into his waiting arms.

He wasn’t, but he wasn’t going to deny it right then. He planned to spend the rest of the night with his lips on her, hearing his name rush across her lips.

All he knew was she could not come back fast enough. His instinct was his high gear. He was sure it was because for the first time, they had lived in a world of their own, and not only liked it, but also rocked at living in perfect sync.

Declan’s gut was telling him to pull her close before he lost her. He was terrified something was going to hurt her. His instinct hadn’t been this bad since he last saw his brother.





Eighteen


No one, not Bell or Declan’s family, thought it was a bad idea she’d been with Declan, or was going back. They thought it was best for him and would help. Because when they saw him again, they planned on making a hard family decision and needed him on board.

They wanted closure. It had been almost three years...

Justice was deep in her thoughts as she walked across the campus to where she’d left her car almost ten hours before. She’d decided driving home was going to be a waste when she had a red-eye flight back to Declan so she was trying to figure out if she was going to spend the next few hours hanging out in the all night coffee shop, or go to the terminal.

When she saw Murdock’s truck parked next to her car in the back parking lot, she cringed. She’d never told him she was leaving to spend a week—that turned into months—with Declan, because frankly she didn’t think she was obligated to.

And when he started calling her nonstop while she was gone, she decided to block the number. The chance of Declan seeing his number was too great, and the peace they were living in was too precious to bust.

As if he had some kind of radar on her, the second she landed back home he started calling her from their friend’s phones, or random numbers. She had told him she was busy a million times.

She clutched her keys in her hand and picked up her pace, planning to tell him she was late for a flight.

He opened his truck door and slammed it behind him. She could smell whisky and smoke in a thick cloud around him.

Great. He had been a paranoid ass since the fire, and when he was drunk it was worse, way worse.

“Not in the mood,” she said, moving toward her car door.