Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(73)

“No f*cking way,” Tobias said under his breath, furious he hadn’t laid eyes on Murdock in a few days, that he didn’t know what took Declan five seconds to figure out.

Declan fought Tobias as he shoved him in the truck then drove him down the road. He needed him out of sight before anyone got any crazy ideas, including Declan.

They made it half a mile before Declan opened the door as the truck was rolling near forty. He was good with jumping out at that speed, but Tobias slammed on the brakes, giving Declan the way out he wanted.

Tobias rushed out of his door and yelled after Declan. “We’re going to make it right!”

Declan charged back toward him. “How can you make this right? How? Fucking tell me, Tobias!” He grunted then punched the truck. “That family takes one punch at us then another.” He hung his head. “They took Nolan—now this,” he said, hanging his head. He was trembling with raw emotion.

The Rawlings’ theory had always been if something sinister had happen to Nolan the Souters had covered it up. Getting proof had not helped matters.

“He’s gone, Declan...you need to know that. Accept it.”

Declan swung and hit Tobias and he let him. He fought him, combat style, no weapons on the side of the country road because he knew Declan needed a target. And he wouldn’t think until some of this adrenaline was exhausted.

The truth of the matter was nothing was what it seemed, ever. Brent Rose’s death was a gift to Justice, but it was a curse against the agents who were building a case against those he associated with. Those thought to smuggle shine and cannabis down the river. Crimes hidden in a small town environment, kept secret by every crooked elected official.

The very real theory was that Nolan had seen something he should not have, and the group Rose was hired by dealt with it.

Every time the Sheriff shut down the search for Nolan, every time he lashed out at any Rawlings who asked too many questions or when evidence disappeared, he was pointing the finger at himself. He was digging not only his grave but also the graves of his family, of the *s in the town who were not as unseen by big brother as they assumed they were.

The very idea that Nolan had been murdered, felt one ounce of pain, and at the hand of a Stouter, or anyone—it was too much for Declan. And what was worse was he couldn’t talk about this with Justice.

He couldn’t tell her how dangerous the town she loved was. All he could do was ask her to come to him, and tell her what he had no choice but to believe—they’d find Nolan one day. This would all be a forgotten nightmare.

Declan blamed himself for what happen to Justice, he should’ve pulled her out of this town the second he knew how corrupt it really was. He knew she needed family, Bell and his own, to help her heal from her past, though. Leaving her sheltered on a base when he was deployed might have stopped the demons they could see coming, but not the ones within. Declan regretted his choice now. He regretted giving her room to run.

“Enough,” Tobias grunted. They were both soaked in sweat, both heaving for breath.

“I’m sick of you talking about him like he’s dead!” Declan raged. “And I’m sick of you telling me you have it handled here when you don’t!”

“He is and I do,” Tobias said with an edge to his voice.

Declan shoved him against the truck, his arm was bracing across his thick shoulders. “Five days, she was here with you for five days!”

Tobias stood up pushing Declan back. “It happened in Savannah. Am I making excuses? No. No I’m not. I didn’t see this coming, and clearly she didn’t either. We’ll handle it.”

“I’m handling it,” Declan said, going to the driver’s side.

Tobias pulled him back. “By going to your woman, right? By telling her you love her and you’re there for her.”

Declan jerked his arm away. “You know I’m going to kill him.”

Tobias was in his face again. “I know that’s why she won’t tell you! I know that’s why you’re going to let Murdock take the only thing you have ever really given a damn about away.”

Declan’s stare was merciless. He cared about his family, about the Corps. He cared too damn much.

“You love her,” Tobias said. “You have since you were a boy and this will steal her away. Either you’re going to do something that will take you from her for good, or you will shut her out and lose her.”

Declan hesitated. Only the thought of losing her would ever do such a thing.

Seeing he was listening and knowing it was best to keep talking, Tobias went on. “I don’t know her like you, I don’t know her like Atticus and Boon, but I can see a warrior from a mile a way and she is one.”

Declan dropped his head. “She’s going to fight this on her own, she won’t let me in. She’s too f*cking stubborn.” His voice was trembling, his entire body was. This was too much.

“Ask her to, but don’t come at her with this anger. You need an ass to kick, you find one of us.”

Declan’s gaze shot to the side. He had never missed Nolan more than he had at that moment. He’d know what to say, what to do.

Tobias pulled Declan to him, and patted him on the back, and let his kid brother take a moment to decompress. Moments later, Providence was dropped off by another truck, someone he’d hitched a ride with.