Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(64)

It was different with Dawson. When the boys would fight, she’d take off. Justice followed her every time, which was easier said than done. Dawson was fit and agile and moved twice as fast when she was trying to outrun an emotion.

No one ever said, but Justice was sure Dawson was the girl who had broken Nolan’s heart the summer before his senior year. The one who stole just a glimmer of the constant joy he had.

“You all right?” Justice asked her when she finally made it to the top of the cliff Dawson had hiked to. Her deep auburn hair shone in the sun, her tan skin, kissed with beauty marks here and there, did as well.

Her shoulders tensed as the echo from below delivered the sound of the Rawlings’ boys saying their piece. Arguing for an end...for hope.

Dawson looked over her shoulder at Justice. She didn’t bother to smile. “Why are you agreeing with Declan? Why do you have hope?”

Justice lifted her chin, hearing the challenge in this girl’s tone. “Because I know him.”

A pissed smirk came to Dawson. “Do you now?”

Justice narrowed her stare. “Nolan is a fighter.”

“Yeah, they all are,” Dawson said quickly. She came from a long line of jarheads.

She stepped up to Justice. “You listen to me. You’re in it deep now,” she glanced down the way to where the boys were. “Those boys love you. If you’re here for show, if this is just a gig for you—get out now.”

“Go to hell,” Justice sneered. “You don’t know shit about me.”

Dawson nearly laughed. “Oh, I do. I heard about you over the years.” She nodded when she saw Justice’s shocked expression. “That’s right, you may have been one of the few and far between girls they trusted at home, but out here—in any wilderness—it was me. I was the one keeping up with them, running circles around them.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous? Is this a territorial battle or some stupid shit?”

Dawson chucked her chin up. “No. If anything, like you, I tried to outrun them. The pull they have.” Dawson nodded her head toward her. “Don’t say you didn’t.”

Justice’s gaze abruptly shifted to the setting sun across the valley.

Dawson moved in her line of sight. “A jarhead has his grip on you, love sick. He has a war there and here now—and you’re right in the middle.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Justice snapped.

Dawson crossed her arms. “It’s not going to be easy. Any of this. If he’s gone—,” She stopped when her voice cracked. “When what happened to Nolan is known, it will change Declan more than any war he sees.”

“It’s not any easier now.”

“Now he has hope. Now he has a chance.”

“You should, too.”

When she tried to move away, Justice turned into the aggressor and put herself in Dawson’s face. “You tell me— you still feel him?”

“What?” Dawson said with a sneer as her eyes welled.

“I can tell you loved Nolan. Tell me if you feel him. Tell me deep down if you think he’s gone—say so if it’s true.”

Dawson couldn’t, not for the world.

“That’s why,” Justice said calmly. “I have hope—Declan has hope because we still feel him.”

Dawson’s gaze sharply moved over Justice. “I like you, don’t f*ck that up.” She went to step down the side of the hillside but hesitated. “Look...if you need someone to...help you figure out the life, call me.”

Justice glanced down to the now silent valley, which suddenly erupted into laughter signaling the brawl was over. “You can count on it.”

***

Across the weekend the moment the sun set, Declan pulled Justice into their tent. The layers of clothes they were wearing to balance out the cool spring mountain nights were shred instantly; their kisses were starved, and so were their touches. There was no way for either of them to get enough of the other.

It was a torturous bliss because neither of them knew how to be quiet when the other drove them wild, but they had to be. Feet away in different tents is where the others were.

She’d end up biting down on his shoulder, or he’d cup her mouth when he felt her starting to lose control. For him it was much the same, her trying to steal the moan from his lips with a kiss, him holding the sound in only to make a face that would make her laugh.

“Watch,” he’d say. “There is a fire inside you, baby.” It blew his mind how easily her skin would blush under his touch, no matter how many times he touched her, the flame was there.

They’d stare at each other for long hours, too, and whisper their secrets.

“Are you scared?” she asked, tracing his face. It was a bold question, one that could cover any topic. For all he knew, she could be asking if he was scared about the mission he was sure he was leaving for that year, or about Nolan...then again she could have been asking if he was scared of her.

“Yes,” he said quietly, tracing her lips with the edge of his thumb. He was terrified of it all, but what scared him the most was holding her and knowing how measured their time together was.

A few moments later he said, “You don’t have to wait...”

“No, I don’t,” she admitted. When she felt him tense and saw the anger flicker in his eyes, she felt relief. Her hand slid down his bare chest, all the way down until she found the swelling length of him. “You’re ready.”