Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(62)

“Being apart?” Boon asked.

“All of it,” she said, standing up and gathering her things. She wanted to get away from him and everyone before she slipped further down an emotional slope.

“He hurts you and we’re all gonna kick his ass,” Boon said, smiling up from the floor.

Justice vaguely grinned. She was sure that was why Declan had never once made a promise to her, a promise they were more than friends.

After Christmas, the phone calls stopped and letters picked up, but they were not as often, and from his words she could sense how even more rigid he’d become. He was an emotionally unavailable warrior who was desperately searching to find his brother, shouldering all the blame for his disappearance and thinking the worst.

By the time spring came, his letters all but stopped. He was taking days here and there off, and each one was spent trying to find Nolan. The investigator had turned up nothing in the town Nolan was last seen in or the ones close to it, and nothing along the path he was supposed to take to reach his friends. No hospital records, no tickets, no use of his phone, or the account he had shown Declan. Nothing.

Around Justice, all her friends cared about was prom, then graduation. She’d agreed to go to prom, not really with a date, but in a group, one Murdock was in. And the only reason she gave in was because of the whole ‘it’s your senior year’ mantra.

She had fallen into another pit of depression and she was mad at herself for doing so. Through all this hell she had counted down to her eighteenth birthday, sure that day everything would be right with the world once again.

No longer a girl.

At least he’d be able to write or call and not have to worry about the added grief of her age. Then maybe she’d really know what they were—friends or something else.

Nothing happened. No one snapped their fingers and made all her issues vanished.

Declan didn’t call. He didn’t write. Nothing. And the Rawlings’ had nothing to say about it. The garage threw her a party, had a cake and such. Boon decided not to be the world’s worst procrastinator and actually did his work when she tutored him. Atticus had taken her out to eat, and the whole time she expected Declan to show up, Atticus to hand his phone to her—something—but in the end it was just them and a few other friends who surprised her with a party.

Being around the Rawlings’ so much had allowed her to develop their way of going about things. She learned not to bring up things she’d rather not deal with. Like the fact she was waiting on someone who was not waiting on her. When she’d let herself get that dark, she’d miss Nolan all the more, missed his smile, how he could sum up the strife and find the good with little effort.

In a haze one warm spring day she was walking back to her class from lunch, the last one she had for the day—all the seniors were ‘skipping’ afterward to get ready for their big weekend.

Justice was only halfway listening to her friend Kayla talk about the hotel rooms they all had in Savannah for the next night; they were just down from where the prom was going to be. None of it made much sense to Justice. It sounded like they were all spending a fortune to get dressed up only to show up for pictures then head to the hotel. Pointless. Especially when you were counting pennies so you could go to school in the fall.

Murdock had ended up buying her dress, and the rest, she didn’t care—there was going to be no up do, or makeup, or nails or anything else. She’d smile, make whatever memory, act liked she cared, and then move on.

“Holy shit,” Kayla said. “Oh my God, is he here for you?”

Justice lifted her gaze from the squares on the linoleum floor she was counting as she walked, an oddity she did when she was just trying to mull through whatever temporary moment she was stuck in.

Instantly the lackluster sheen of her life faded like someone had unlatched her prison door.

He was there. Declan, in uniform, was standing before her classroom door talking to her teacher, one he’d had the year before.

The teacher kept talking, but the moment Declan met her stare the world for both Justice and Declan faded away.

Other students walked into the classroom looking up at Declan with fear in their eyes, and rightly so. He was not only breathtaking in his uniform, he was demanding. Ageless.

It didn’t matter that it had been eight months since she had been in the same room with him, this close, he still had the same effect on her, and she was damn pissed at him for it.

Somewhere in the haze the bell had rung and everyone went to class—everyone but Justice. The teacher who always left the door open, shut it, leaving her alone in the hall with him. The act was meant for privacy, but all it did was put a spotlight on Justice who had all but turned the color of a rose.

Declan’s gaze moved over every inch of her and once he was sure his deep voice would be steady, he held out his hand. In the palm of it was the necklace that matched the bracelet Boon had given her months before. “Happy Birthday.”

She breathed a tight smile. “Um...do you know when my birthday is?”

“Eleven weeks, four days and give or take a few hours ago.”

She furrowed her brow, refusing to take the gift. She wasn’t sure if the hope was worth it, if the way she felt five minutes ago was not better. At least five minutes ago, she knew what to expect. She’d found a way to agree with the pain.

“Better late than never, huh,” she said finally.