Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(66)
He had few regrets, but the night he listened to her dad and stole a life and then tethered himself to this girl was his biggest. He would have cut his losses long ago, moved on, at the very least avoided the issue of wanting her by not seeing her.
Instead, here he was. All the hype about them, all the time he had spent around her had made him want her, give a damn she was hurt by that jarhead *.
One way or another he was going to get this girl right.
Seventeen
Justice was going to make it to college. In Savannah. She was still going to live at home. It was cheaper. She and Declan were better than they had ever been. She was able to talk to him almost every day, without someone listening, for hours at times.
Most of the conversation was on their day to day, on the constant search for Nolan, never really on the future. He was still guarded at times and she’d find herself snapping at him when jealousy or suspicion would get the best of her. Which would come right after he displayed the same—in her mind if he was looking for guilt in her, of all people, then he must have something to feel guilty about.
Her Declan bliss bubble started to disintegrate a week or so before the Rally. Like all the times when he had come home before, just before he arrived communication was near nil, and she just couldn’t deal.
Not when she had already gone through her orientation at school and decided she was sure to die of stress. Even cramming every class into two days so she could work full shifts on the other five didn’t help.
She had no life before, now she would have even less. What pissed her off more than anything was if she failed, if she ended up giving up—all this cash, all the loans and financial aid, mixed in with a few grants, would go up in smoke because she failed.
“We have two extra rooms in this house, maybe we should rent them out. I don’t like the idea of this loan. A grant, the aid, that’s fine,” Bell said, looking over the stuff Justice had across the table.
All Justice heard was, “When you figure out how hard this is and quit, the loan and its interest will still be there.” Which infuriated her.
“Who in this town would you want to live with?” Justice asked with a raised brow.
Bell made a bit of face. Most times she fit in about as well as Justice did. She could make herself fit in for the time period she needed to, but that was about it.
“What about you?” Bell asked.
“Right, my friends would be lining up to pay rent to live with my grandmother, a preacher’s widow who is now dating, and me an overworked, overstressed, non-partying, non-hooking up girl.”
Justice instantly thought of Dawson. She went to the same college and apparently hated everyone there but Justice, including her roommates.
“We’re just cursed or something,” Justice said as she hung her head. It felt like no matter what she did, right or wrong, she hit a wall. She’d worried about money since before she knew what it was and by all accounts always would. She didn’t even want wealth. She wanted to live, and not become old before she ever had the chance to be young.
Bell smirked. “You really should hold back on all the positive vibes you’re putting out, people will think you’re full of it if you’re never down and out.”
Justice smiled then laughed. It was a short lived as her gaze fell back to the bills, to the loan she couldn’t pay even if she did take it.
“I can put an ad up, see what comes of it?” Bell said.
“I’ll just drop a class, maybe two,” she said, knowing even one class with the books would save her a ton.
Before Bell could rebut Justice spotted something out of the corner of her eye, and sighed. There would be no break from Murdock. Ever.
He was going to the same school, only he was staying up there with some friends. She and Murdock were hot and cold, too. They’d fight, he’d threaten her, then vanish and show up a few days later sweet as ever, acting like it never happened.
She walked outside ready to tell him she wasn’t in the mood if the * Murdock was present and accounted for.
He was on her side porch. His fair hair was cut short for the summer, his skin golden from where he decided to play a sport or two instead of drink this summer away like his last one.
The girls at school were already eating him up on campus where this whole story about them didn’t really exist. He was free to be a male whore all he wanted without his well-rehearsed speeches.
“What the hell are they doing?” he asked her with a tick of his head to the edge of her property.
At first, Justice only glanced that way. Atticus or Boon usually came by at least once a week to help with the upkeep around the house, but it wasn’t them.
No, it was Declan and a man she didn’t know, but she didn’t care. She took off at a sprint. Seconds later, Declan turned to see her running toward him and held his arms out and she flew into them, kissing his lips as he spun her and laughed.
She hated it and loved it when he did this, not hearing from him and them boom, he was there bigger than life.
At this point, after a heart to heart with her friend Dawson, Justice was sure it was a test. He was preparing himself for a break between them or for it not to feel the same once they were together again. She proved him wrong every time by landing in his arms like this.
The man next him chuckled and once Declan had his fill of her lips, he sat Justice down and ticked his toward his friend. “This is Providence. Did Dawson tell you about him?”