Deploy, Part One (Rawlings #1)(65)

A smile busted across his face as he fumbled to find his near empty box of condoms.

Seconds later, when she felt him slide in and they both sighed, her hands reached up for his strong neck then she rose and whispered against his ear. “I love you, Declan Rawlings.” When his electrified gaze met hers, when he stilled inside of her, she smiled. “I don’t have to wait...I want to.”

He didn’t smile the way she thought he would, instead his thrust was fierce, so hard she almost cried out. Before she could, he rolled with her, placing her on him then he rose. The abrupt change in position caught her off guard and stole her breath as her body eased down, meeting his penetrating thrust.

When he felt her start to build, his hands moved over her body then took her lips, stealing the sounds she was trying to keep quiet. Against her lips he whispered, “I love you. Always have.”

She knew then, like she knew months before, it was different with them. They were real.

Across the entire weekend that was the only time either of them said how they felt, and outside their tent their touches were guarded, something that only confused her more. But she knew she would have plenty of time to think about it once he was gone again.

Before the weekend was over he had gotten her a phone, one that would allow him to contact her every way there was. One way or another, she’d get what messages he could send.

As they held each other a few hours before dawn on Monday morning, she fought not to cry. His kiss was tender, but as it had been all weekend, was starved.

“You make this so hard,” he breathed against her lips. When she dipped her head, his thumb lifted her chin as his gaze searched hers. “You make it bearable, too.”

“Hurry back,” she said through a teary smile as she took steps back, not letting go of his hand until she had to.

She knew he’d been approved to come home for forty-eight hours for the Rally and she knew he was going to call. A lot. Those were the only certainties she had as she watched him leave. As she felt the ache set in. The world was wrong again.

***

Humiliated. Laughing stock of the entire school, and town. Murdock would never live it down as long as he lived. He had waited all weekend to put Justice in her place. And then she didn’t even bother to show up for school.

Fuck that.

By the time he reached her house that afternoon, he’d already downed three beers. There wasn’t a car out front when he got there but he decided he was going in any way. The princess needed her damn crown.

The whole f*cking school knew they were going through some shit, but still tight. Tragic is what they called them and every f*cking girl ate it up. They all wanted to make him feel better.

Murdock was sure Declan was a said and done deal. He had gotten good at reading Justice and he knew when she had heard from him and when she hadn’t just by the lack of luster in her gaze.

He’d strike then and make her laugh, pull her away from the Rawlings’, and she’d come willingly, too, because all those *s looked alike and it was easier for her not be face to face with them.

Months back he was on a roll with her, he had even managed to kiss her. It didn’t go where he wanted it to, but it was something, more than they had done since that f*cking storm blew into town over a year before.

Then he saw it, a text from the * saying he was sorry he hadn’t been able to call, and told her was going to miss the date he had been waiting for. He had some covert jarhead shit to do and he’d call her in her a few months.

Delete.

Nope. Murdock was not going to lose any ground, he had a date he was waiting on, too—the night he and Justice were going to spend in Savannah, the night he was going to get her drunk or high enough that she’d finally f*cking give in.

His. Done. Over.

What happened? A perfect morning, he took her to school, bought her breakfast, they laughed at a few friends, made fun of the hype they were putting behind prom. They had a few classes together, then lunch.

Then the next thing he knew the whole school was going crazy with gossip about how Declan, one of the poor Rawlings’ whose brother was missing, showed up decked out in uniform and stole Justice right out of class.

He was sure it was bullshit. But no, by the time he made it to her house that afternoon, she was gone—like out of town gone. Not only was he f*cking stood up like a bad habit, she didn’t even f*cking call.

Murdock asked everyone— looking like a chump— if she had said where she was. He even went to his dad and said he thought something shady was going down.

Turns out Bell, her awesome guardian—not—allowed her to go on some weekend getaway with the jarhead *.

And there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it but gossip. Justice Rose was a consenting legal adult weeks from graduation.

If irony was not cruel enough, they had been elected prom king and queen—yeah, he’d looked like a tool standing up there by himself.

A thousand times a day he wished that * Declan was at the bottom of the Savanna—he’d killed the wrong brother for sure.

When he finally did find Justice, she was lying across her bed, staring out the window, lost and broken all over again.

He gently let the crown he had fisted in his hand go and set it on her end table.

“Every time, Justice. This shit is toxic.”

She only pressed her lips together to keep in her emotions, and like a whooped jackass he found himself heaving a breath out then sitting down on the edge of her bed. He reached to sway his hand across her back, and she let him.