Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(74)
“Please.” She was tired. I could see it in her eyes. Suddenly, without warning, she pulled off her cap and tossed it on the bedside table. “I can’t fight you, Chad. Go downstairs and look her in the eyes before you ask her to leave. If you can’t do it without lying, then you know why I have to do this.”
Veronica pulled the covers up over her chest and rested her head on a pillow. She turned to the side and closed her eyes, as if I’d already left room. For a few second I stood there watching her. Then, as he chest relaxed, rising and falling at a steady pace, I knew what I had to do.
Chapter 40
While I sat there in shock, I considered Veronica’s plea. I began to understand what she must be going through, and her inability to feel at peace until she knew her family would be cared for.
I knew what she was asking hurt her. I can’t imagine having a child and knowing I wouldn’t be around to raise him or her. When I agreed to step in, I did it without hesitation.
I loved Chad. It had never been a secret. I’d wanted to move into the mansion. I’d put my happiness aside so they could spend the last several months as a united front.
Now I was being asked to step in; to be a part of the equation. I wasn’t sure how difficult it was going to be to make the transition, or even if wanted to be in the same room day after day with Chad’s wife, but I knew I could do it for that little girl. Veronica was right. We needed to build a relationship. Harper needed to know she could count on me, and in order for that to happen, she had to get to know me; to trust me.
It took Chad a few minutes to return to the office. Instead of speaking right away, he walked right to the decanter and poured two glasses of a brown colored liquor. “Are you okay?” I asked.
He shook his head. “Nope, not at all.”
“Chad, you have to put yourself in her shoes.”
“Oh trust me, I have. I just hate this. It will torture her, but it’s what she wants. How can something make no sense, but also make all the sense in the world?”
“Why do some people live long healthy lives, while others are riddled with disease? There are some questions we’ll never be able to understand or answer. It’s life, and I suppose it’s also death.”
He finished his drink, before I took my first sip. “Yeah, I guess.”
“If you think it’s a bad idea, I won’t move in. I got an apartment not too far from here. You could bring Harper over for dinner some time if that would be easier on you.”
He smirked. “You got an apartment? Why?”
“Before I knew Veronica was sick, I sort of told Stephanie she could have the house on account of my moving in with you. I didn’t have the heart to go back on my word, plus I knew how much having the house would mean to her.”
“Jesus, Rachel. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were going through hell. It wasn’t a big deal. I’m fine.”
“Well I’m glad one of us is. None of this is fine with me. Look at me. My life is crumbling. My wife is dying, and her last request is for the love of my life to move in with us. This is insane.”
I wanted to laugh, because out loud it sounded ridiculous. “What do you want me to do, Chad? I didn’t come here today for this, but I could hear how desperate she was when she asked me. I feel obligated to at least give it a try. I’m not talking about being with you, because that’s not an option. We need to keep our distance, for Harper and Veronica. No physical contact, not for a while. I’d never disrespect a woman on her death bed. I’m speaking of the relationship Harper would have to build with me in a short amount of time. Veronica needs to know I’m able to take over for her when she’s gone. As a women, and someone who has had to do this before, I know exactly why she’s doing it.”
“It’s not right, Rach.”
“Is it really about right or wrong?” I stood and walked toward him, getting close enough to lace our hands together. I didn’t try to touch him in any other way. “Chad, she’s right. I love you. I’ve wanted a life with you. I’m not here to replace your wife. I’ve never needed to. What we have goes beyond Veronica and her illness. If you can’t handle it, I’ll leave, but if there’s still hope for us, if you think we have a future together, don’t push me away. I need to know Veronica. I want to know the woman you married. I think it’s important we part as friends.”
“Now you’ve lost your mind.”
I let out an air-filled laugh. “Perhaps. I’ve been through hell, but I still know exactly where I belong. Let me try. If she feels uncomfortable, or that I’m overstepping, I’ll go back to my apartment. We can make it a temporary trial. No promises.”
It was weird being so close to Chad and not having him pull me into his arms. He sighed and shook his head. “You women are going to kill me. Whatever. If you think it will help, and you’re up for the challenge I won’t try to talk you out of it.”
“She contacted me on her own. That took a lot of nerve.” I removed my hands from his and tapped on his chest. “I better get going. It’s getting late.”
Just as I turned to leave the room, he grabbed me and pulled me back. His strong arms wrapped around my body, mine doing the same to his. “Rach, I do want a future with you. I just feel like shit for admitting it right now. I can’t be with you while she’s in the other room fighting to stay alive.”