Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(7)
I’d never wish my daughter wasn’t born, but I did wish she never had to experience pain. We were so close; two peas in a pod. Even spending a night without her cheerful company left me lonely and miserable. I couldn’t imagine sharing custody with Veronica.
By the time the plane landed, I was in need of a stiff drink. I pulled my luggage to the first bar I came to and ordered a shot. “Um, let me get a bourbon.”
It was strange for me to order a drink I rarely remembered ever having. There were so many other shots to do the job, yet my instinct had led me to one with a lot of history connected to it. The bourbon heated my throat as it coursed down my esophagus. I stood, playing with the glass for a few seconds, recalling another time I’d had this same concoction, and how it changed my life.
Rachel. She’d been my grandfather’s go-to when he was still running his company. He was fond of her work ethic, and her ability to conquer any task. I remembered him telling me to watch out for her; that she could take my spot from right under me if I didn’t play my cards right.
I’d been just a teen, but taken his words seriously. She was a force to be reckoned with, and I knew he’d keep her close no matter what I decided to do with his company once he retired.
It seemed like a different me back then. Ever since I first saw her as a teen I knew she was someone I’d love to be with – a woman who set an example for all others. She was in her twenties, young and stunning. Her body was shaped like an hourglass, her brown hair long and flowing. I could still recall the shape of her lips perfectly, and the way they’d felt when I finally got the chance to press mine against them.
Rachel.
Her name echoed in the furthest part of my mind. Still to this day I thought about her, and how I’d done the right thing by walking away.
She was the only other woman I’d ever loved, and even my life with Veronica couldn’t begin to compete with the connection we’d shared in the little time we had together.
Being home was bringing it all back again; the memories, and mostly the pain. I’d left her with something to remember me by, and for a while we kept in touch for business purposes. I still wondered how she was doing, but hadn’t spoken to her in years.
I ordered another shot in hopes of calming my nerves. I needed to get to the hospital to be with my grandfather, instead of thinking about all the reasons I picked up and moved across the country.
It was weird how she was in my thoughts, especially since I was going through hell. Maybe that’s why my mind kept wandering back to her. Maybe she’d always represented solace. At any rate, Rachel was happily married, with a family of her own. Being a memory was all I had left of her, and it needed to be enough for me.
I had to focus, even if reality was going to tear me apart worse.
Chapter 4
Three shots. After paying the tab, I carried my luggage out to where ground transportation was located. Being familiar with this particular airport helped me get there efficiently without asking for directions or having to follow the signs.
By the time the alcohol started to relax me, I was hailing a cab. I told the driver the hospital I needed to get to, and he quickly pulled into traffic to take me there.
During the ride, I sent emails out, mostly to my assistant, letting him know I had a family emergency and would be away for a few days. I shot Veronica a message, but kept it short and simple. Even thinking about loving her was making me feel sick to my stomach. I couldn’t remember the last time I had anything to eat, or even if I wanted to attempt to get something to hold me over until I left the hospital.
Something in my gut told me I was about to get terrible news. I don’t know why this time felt different. Sure, my grandfather had fallen ill before. He’d always snapped back, somehow, someway. This time though, I knew he wouldn’t be as lucky. For some reason this felt permanent, even before I’d set eyes on any of his doctors.
I spotted Gracie as I made my way down the long white-walled halls that led to the intensive care unit. The smell, which I finally recognized as feces, filled my nostrils with a pungent odor. I covered my nose with my hand as she led me into a private room, and pulled me into her arms. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I got the first flight.” I peered over in the direction of my grandfather. Two nurses were crouched down, cleaning up the remnants of what his bowel bag had left behind. I cringed again with disgust while giving Gracie my undivided attention.
“His body is giving out, Chad. There’s little they can do for him. They’re just trying to keep him comfortable.”
There was a burning in my throat, pressing my fears and pain to show their ugly face. This was too much to handle. I thought I could remain strong, but first my marriage, and now this. “What are you saying? How long does he have?”
The nurses finally left the room, probably because they were afraid what I’d say or do next. I could imagine they were used to family members freaking out on a daily basis.
She began to tear up. “Hours. If we’re lucky, maybe a couple days.”
I turned away and looked down at the man who’d raised me; the man who’d taught me how to be the person I was today. He’d inspired me, and never let money control my life. He’d taught me what was important, and to embrace my dreams, even when they took me away from everything I’d ever known. This man was my mentor. He didn’t deserve to suffer, no matter how much I wished he had more time. “Has he been awake at all?”