Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(4)

“What have I been doing?” She questioned, as if she had no idea what I was speaking of.

“I know about Dr. Ryan.”

“What about her?” She turned her head to the side, unable to hold her stare.

“I have pictures.”

She shoved me. “You had me followed? What is wrong with you? What she and I discuss is private.”

“You’re having an affair with your doctor. Do you think I’d be okay with it because she’s a female? Is this some kind of fantasy you have? I’m telling you right now, I’m not sharing you. You’re my damn wife, and if you think for one second I’m going to let you leave me and take Harper away you’ve got another thing coming. I’ll fight you for custody, Veronica. I’ll do whatever I need to in order to make sure my daughter has me in her life, every single day.”

She turned and faced the wall, standing only inches from me while breaking down. Her hands came up to her face as I remained watching her react to being caught. “It’s not what you think. I’ve been struggling, and she was helping me.”

“Helping you?” I let out an air-filled cackle. “Is that what you call it? Does it help if she’s between your legs when you’re telling her about our problems?”

She turned, her grimace full of hate. “Don’t do that. Don’t you dare make this a mockery because you’re angry. I didn’t do this to hurt you; to hurt us. It just happened.”

It was odd to me that she’d only assume I was angry. Didn’t she understand how much it was torturing me? I’d spent the entire day agonizing over what to do next with my life. I felt like I was about to lose everything. “Answer my question. When did you stop loving me? Was I just a safe-haven for you? Did I offer you stability? Was this all some sort of head therapy for you, because it wasn’t for me. I love you. I’ve always loved you, even when you seemed to want nothing to do with me.”

“You’re being ridiculous. I do love you. I would have never married you if I didn’t.” I watched her step out of the shower and obtain a towel off the rack behind the door. Her long wet hair was dripping down on the marble floor, making it too slick to jump out and follow her quickly.

I crossed my arms over my chest and expected her to storm out of the bathroom, finding she had remained instead. “Chad, I never meant to hurt you. I told her we had to stop.”

“So, you know it’s wrong. That doesn’t mean you don’t love her. There’s a huge difference between stopping and not wanting to.”

She covered her face again.

I finally chanced busting my ass to get close to her again. Within seconds I was out of the shower and face to face with my seemingly tormented wife, not that I was too concerned about her feelings at the moment. “Please don’t do this, Chad. Please don’t,” she begged.

“Don’t what? I just want the truth, no matter how much it will hurt. Are you gay? Is that what this is?”

She shook her head. “No.” She attempted to reach for me. “I’m not gay. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

I sighed and looked away for a moment, struggling to not feel sorry for her. “What happens now? Do I need to find a lawyer?” She kept quiet. “I deserve to know if this is going to blow up in my face, Veronica. What are your plans?”

She shrugged. “I’m so confused. I know I love you. I know this is where I should be, but something is wrong with me. When I’m with her I feel safe.”

“I don’t make you feel safe?” She was crushing my soul, one sentence at a time. “Haven’t I done everything in my power to protect you; to understand what you’ve been through?”

“Yes,” she reached for me, finally latching onto my wrist and pulling me closer. “Babe, please don’t think it’s anything you’ve done. This is all me. I’m f*cked up in the head. No matter how hard I try to be normal – to be what everyone expects of me, I feel like I’m falling apart. I’m living a life that’s fake.”

“Fake? Look around you. We have a great life.”

She nodded. “We do.” I was finally able to look into her tear-filled eyes. My own started to sting. This intense moment between us was anything but settling, but at least we were communicating which was more than we’d done in months. “I’m selfish. I’ve taken everything for granted.”

I reiterated my earlier question. “What happens now? What does this mean for our marriage?”

“I’d suggest therapy, but -.”

I interrupted. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. As far as I’m concerned, it’s either going to be me and Harper, or your therapist. I’m not willing to share you. I don’t give a shit if she doesn’t have a dick. You’re still cheating, and I’m not okay with it, not after everything I’ve done to be with you. Have you considered what this would feel like for me? We’re not dating, Veronica. You made a commitment to me. Do you not understand what that meant?”

“Of course I do. It just happened, Chad. I swear. It wasn’t premeditated. She was comforting me and it happened, okay. Are you happy now?”

“What happened exactly?”

“Don’t do this. Don’t ask for things you know you don’t want to hear.”