Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(20)

“I want a peanut butter sandwich.”

“I’ll bring you that and something chocolate.” I kissed her on the forehead and got back up to attend to her mother. It was going to get ugly again, especially when I told her I was keeping our daughter with me.

I found Veronica packing up their things. “You can leave Harper’s bag. She’s not going anywhere.”

I got this look of disgust immediately. “Yeah right. She’s coming home with me.”

“I’m afraid you’re mistaken. You’ve got shit to take care of and I don’t want my daughter around it, or being watched by some babysitter when she can stay with me. I need to deal with legal matters and this estate, so she’s perfectly fine being with me. Don’t cross me anymore than you already have, Veronica. I’m trying to give you space to take care of your issues.”

“I told you I’ve already ended things.”

“You’re full of shit. Harper told me you were still talking to her. Why are you trying to hide it? Is it because of the money? Is that all you see me as?”

She wouldn’t answer.

“When I get home I’m filing for divorce. This shit is over. I’m tired of thinking I can change you. You want to cheat and lie to me, you can suffer the consequences of your actions. I’m done with it. I’ve been good to you. I’ve done everything in my power to be the man you needed, but obviously it wasn’t a man you were actually looking for. This marriage is over.”

She reached for me, gripping onto both of my arms. “Please don’t do this. I’ll change. I’m sorry about the way I acted.”

I backed away and removed her hold on me. “That’s just it. You’re not sorry. Today was the real you. You’re selfish and inconsiderate, and I’m embarrassed to be with someone so cold. This is all your fault. You cheated. We. Are. Done.”

I started to walk out of the room, hearing her crying louder as I did it. “I’ll call for a taxi to take you to the airport when you’re ready. Oh, and be reasonable when it comes to Harper. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t lead on that we’re fighting. She’s too young to understand.”

As mad as I’d become, it was still painful. I wanted to make things work for the sake of our daughter, but I wasn’t staying in a marriage built on lies. It would only make it worse in the long run. If I kept up with the charade I’d end up hating myself, maybe more than I despised the person my wife was becoming.

Veronica never came to tell me goodbye, nor did she say anything to our daughter. I heard a car pulling away, and before I could make it to the front window to check, she was already halfway down the long paved driveway.

Later, after calming Harper down and convincing her to take a much needed nap, I found a note sitting on my bed.



Dearest Chad,

You’re right about a lot of things. I haven’t been honest with you for a long time. You were wrong about something though. I do love you, but it’s not the way you deserve to be loved. I’ve stopped appreciating our marriage.

I had the affair. She never came onto me. It was my undoing. I sought out her attention and when she gave it to me I couldn’t stop what happened between us. I know I’ve made a mess of things. Maybe you’ve lost all respect for me. I probably deserve it. I promised to love and cherish you, and I threw it away because I couldn’t stop from always wanting more. I’m fickle. I can’t be satisfied in a relationship with a man. I don’t want to blame it on my past, but it’s obvious I have residual resentment when it comes to men in general. You were different, even from the beginning. You were kind and gentle, and I appreciated how patient you were with me, but if I’m being honest, it’s never been enough for me. I settled, because on the outside it was what society expected of me. We made a beautiful child, and for a while I was content, maybe even happy. I don’t know when I knew I needed more. Maybe I could have come to you, but what good would it have done? You couldn’t begin to understand what I was going through. I didn’t want our marriage to end, because I’m selfish.

You might hate me. On most days I hate myself.

I’m leaving because you’re right. We do need time apart. Please tell Harper I love her so much. I couldn’t say goodbye, because I was too distraught. I hope you can understand my reasoning for that, at least.

I’m sorry I doubted you, Chad. I know you’re an honorable man who always seems to do the right thing, even when it doesn’t get you what you want.

I hope you can forgive me so we can co-parent the right way. I don’t want to fight anymore, so I’m surrendering. I’m admitting this is my fault, and I’m prepared to face the consequences.

Love,

Veronica.





I sat down on my mattress reading the note several times before losing it. I fell down flat on the bed and wept. Everything was gone. I’d lost hope in fixing things with my wife. My grandfather was dead, his ashes would soon be delivered to me in some kind of fancy urn he’d chosen to spend eternity in. I was left with a big house, and an estate I didn’t know the first thing about how to handle, and then there was my precious daughter, innocent and oblivious to my struggles. How was I going to be able to look her in the eyes and tell her that her mom and I would never be together again?