Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(16)

Rachel was standing right next to me, her soft hand overtop of mine. Tears were in her eyes as she peered down at my grandfather for possibly the last time. In that moment I realized she needed my support just as much as I yearned for hers. “He’s peaceful, don’t you think?” She asked.

“Yeah. I was thinking the same thing. He’s not suffering any more. There won’t be annual cancer testing, and the stress of waiting for the results. He’ll never have to go through treatments, or suffer the side effects that always made him sick.”

She applied pressure to my hand. “How are you really doing, Chad? I’ve been thinking about you. After you emailed me I was starting to worry. I thought about dropping by, but I figured you’d have family with you and I didn’t want to intrude.”

I ignored the fact that I could feel Veronica’s eyes burning a hole in my back. It killed me how she thought she had a right to be pissed off because I was talking to someone I was once involved with, when I knew she was still involved in an affair.

“Don’t think that. You’re always welcome. It’s what he would have wanted.”

For a moment we were both silent. Then I heard her sniffles. She was losing it and I wanted nothing more than to pull her in my arms and make the pain go away. The more I listened to her suffering, the harder it was to control my own emotions. I couldn’t have cared who was watching or what they’d assume. I turned to face her and brought her body close to mine. She sobbed lightly against my suit jacket, but I never let go. I didn’t mind how much snot she left on it. Rachel needed this, and there wasn’t another person in the building more qualified to comfort her. “It’s okay. Just let it out.”

She pulled away while shaking her head and doing her best to wipe away the makeup, which was now running down her face. “I’m sorry, Chad. I know you don’t need this right now. I’ve just suffered so much, and it’s always hard to bury the people we love.”

When she said it, I looked out at the pews, searching for her husband. I figured he’d come with her to be there in her time of need. After I searched the room and didn’t see him, I gave her my undivided attention. “Did you come alone?”

“Stephanie is here with me. She used the ladies room while I found us a seat. I saw you when I came in and figured you wouldn’t think I was crazy if I lost it.”

“Do you want to sit up front with us? You were family to him.”

“I don’t have to.”

“I want you there. Please.” I led her over to sit down in the first pew, ignoring my wife as I took the spot between them.

Right away I felt her hand on my knee, like she was claiming me as hers. Now, in all the times I wanted my wife to appreciate me, and love me with her whole heart, I knew she was only being selfish for her own personal reasons. She may not have wanted me herself, but she also didn’t want anyone else thinking they could have me either. In the middle of preparing to bury my grandfather, I had to deal with her immature shenanigans.

While the church filled with crowds of people, I sat staring at the altar, seeing the donated flowers and the ones that had been prearranged. People came up and paid their respects, some crying as they walked away.

Harper left the seat beside her mother and came up to me, climbing on my lap. “Daddy, can I go up there too? I want to say goodbye.”

Surprisingly, Veronica stood and held out her hand. “Come on, baby. Mommy will take you. I haven’t gone yet.”

I watched as they walked up and waited for their turn with my grandfather. Maybe I should have joined them, but I was too weak to go through it again. I wanted to remember him as being alive and full of jokes, not the lifeless body lying in a casket.

“Your daughter is beautiful,” said the voice sitting next to me.

I didn’t take my eyes off of Harper. “Thank you. She’s my everything.”

“Your wife is stunning, Chad. I always knew you’d marry a beauty.”

I turned my head away to hide my sarcastic reaction. My wife may have been beautiful, but I was starting to think she was an ugly person on the inside. I hated how much she’d been through as a child, but couldn’t begin to understand why she was so narcissistic. “She’s a good mother.”

When I turned to look at Rachel, I could tell she was curious as to why I’d only mentioned her being a mother, but she wouldn’t dare come out and ask me about it, not in a church. Rachel wasn’t inappropriate like Veronica. She had class, and respect.

I watched Rachel’s stepdaughter come in and sit down next to her. She smiled when she saw me and took her mother’s hand. I noticed right away she was pregnant. Leaning over to whisper in Rachel’s ear probably looked bad, but I was only doing it so no one else could hear what I was saying. “You’re going to be a grandmother.”

She grinned and gave me an excited look. “I am.” I watched her hand rub over Stephanie’s belly. “She’s due in two months. I’m so excited.”

“I bet.”

Rachel never had children of her own, but I knew she was the best step parent she could possibly be. Stephanie’s birth mother died when she was a young child, so in many ways Rachel was the only mother she could remember.

The music started to play from an organ and I watched the priest walking toward me. He greeted those of us in the first pew before heading to the altar. Veronica came back to sit next to me, taking my hand immediately.