Belong (Seven Year Itch #3)(12)
I leaned forward and spoke directly to my grandfather. He didn’t need to know who I was involved with. If I told him he’d probably scold me, since she was so dear to him. “If I tell the person how I feel it will only make it worse. It’s best if I cut ties. She’ll be fine, and I’ll get over it.” I poured another drink and sipped at this one.
“I hope you’re right. Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Sometimes we think we’re making the right decision, when in fact it’s the opposite. In your case, I hope she’s easy to get over, but I have a feeling she was the one.”
“How could you know that? I’ve never brought her around.”
He snickered and took a sip of his tonic. “I know.” He waved his glass around toward me. “You’ve been walking around with a cocky smile for weeks. I’ve seen the type of girls you surround yourself with, and I know this woman is nothing like them. She’s real, and it scares the hell out of you.”
“I’m not going to ask how you know so much.”
“It’s better you don’t. I wouldn’t want you to think poorly of me. I’ve lived a full life, that’s for sure, and bless your dear grandmother for putting up with my antics. She’s a saint.”
“It’s best if I don’t talk about who I’m with. I made the right choice, at least for her. I’ll survive.”
“You think you can hide it from me, don’t you? You think I haven’t paid close attention, but I have. Just because I’m no longer in that office doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes within the company. I know everything, son.”
“I’m not admitting to anything, but if you do know what’s going on, then you can accept why I made the decision to end things. It’s better this way, for everyone involved.”
“I beg to differ.” He finished off his drink and sat it back down on the tray. “I think one day you’re going to look back and wish you’d done things differently. I hope I’m not around to see it.”
I turned away from my grandfather and filled my mind with Rachel. Was she the one? Had I ruined my chances at happiness?
I snapped out of it and stood abruptly. “You knew it was her, didn’t you, old man? You wanted me to figure it out myself and all I did was walk away like a coward. I bet your laughing at me now. I’ve got a wife who is screwing another woman, a daughter I’m desperate to keep close, and reminders of what I should have never let go of. On top of that shit, I have to bury your ass and say goodbye to the best man I’ve ever known. You’re making it hard on me, aren’t you?” I mumbled to the air around me. I knew it was unlikely he was listening, but if by some luck he was, I wanted him to know how important he was to me.
I sauntered over to the serving table and poured myself a drink of whatever he’d filled the carafe with. It stung going down and I winced as it made it’s way into my throat. “I’m going to miss you, Granddad. Everything I am is because of you.”
When I sat the glass down I flipped it on the side, leaving the remnants to spill out. It was unlike me to feel angry about my grandfather. He’d been my rock. He’d kept me straight. He’d taught me that women weren’t just around to satisfy some perversion us men have going on in our heads. He’d educated me to be respectful, and that honesty would get me far in life. I’d lived by his guidance, and done my best to help the people struggling around me.
Hell, I’d deeded part of his company to Rachel before walking out of her life for good. How much more generous could I have been?
By the time I made it back into my bedroom, I was a blubbering mess, intent on letting it all out. I wanted to punch walls and scream at the top of my lungs. I started with the wall behind my bedroom door, shoving my fist right through it. Then I ripped the hooks from a coat rack, tossing them across the room to knock over a few remaining trophies. I kicked a table, flinging it’s contents everywhere.
I was losing control, suffering some kind of breakdown. My marriage was in shambles, my heart lingering between two different worlds. I didn’t want to lose this place, but I couldn’t abandon my family in California. If only I could be in two places at once.
When I finally collapsed on the bed, I was too tired to fight with my conscience any longer. I needed to let sleep settle me, at least for a little while.
Maybe the next day would be better. Maybe when my wife arrived with Harper, I’d have a reason to smile again. Until then I’d undergo unimaginable pain, grieving the loss of my favorite family member.
Chapter 7
I wasn’t sure what time it was when I heard the doorbell chiming. Sleep had been difficult, and I found it unsettling to not know how long I’d actually rested.
From the looks of my bedroom, I’d certainly lost control. The rush of memories came back as I stood and looked out the window to see if I could figure out who had arrived so early.
Then I saw them, my two girls standing with hands full of luggage. I hauled ass down the stairs to meet them at the door. When it opened, and I saw the look in Veronica’s eyes, I knew she was pissed. She blew by me, stopping when she noticed my cell phone on the floor. It had vibrated off the table, knocking out the battery. “Well, this explains why I couldn’t reach you.”
“I called you from the landline last night. Why didn’t you just dial that back?”