Atone (Recovered Innocence #2)(24)

I manage to get into a sitting position and stare down at myself. My shirt is hooked around my arms across my back and my jeans hang around my ankles. I wiggle out of my shirt and push my shoes and jeans off with my feet.

“What are you doing?” She stands over me with her hands on her hips.

I hold my arms out to her. “Come here.”

“No.” She’s eyeing me like that no might turn into a yes.

“Come sleep with me.”

“I told you to get the f*ck out.”

“I know you did. Please. Come here.”

She moves forward until her knees hit mine. I wrap my arms around her, pressing my face against her breasts. She smells better naked. Her skin is soft. She’s soft. Her breasts are full and round, and they mash my nose as she holds my head against her.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m shit at this. I don’t…It’s been a long time for me.”

She strokes my hair. “It’s been a long time for me too. Pretty much never.”

I don’t know what she means by that.

She pulls away and grips my face so I have to look at her. “You can’t do that avoidance shit with me. Got it? You don’t have a single f*cking clue how this was for me. Don’t take it away from me with your guilt and regret. Let me have this. Okay?”

I don’t know what she means by that either. I can’t read the expression on her face. It’s kind of like the look she got that night at the diner, only not so hard and angry. Whatever she’s thinking about is not in this room. It’s somewhere else.

“Yeah. Okay,” I agree.

Her kiss has me reaching for her and bringing her down on top of me. God, the feel of her. She straddles my hips, her * pressing against my dick. I’m already getting hard again. Her breasts bounce as she leverages herself over me. I take one in each hand, running my thumbs over her nipples, marveling at how they stiffen and the little sound she makes in the back of her throat.

“It’s just you and me here tonight. Promise me.”

I nod. “Just you and me.”

“We don’t have a past or a future. Only now.”

“Only now.”

I don’t question why she needs this reassurance, because I need it too. I need the absolution of living in the moment. When I walked into this room I took off my grief and left it outside along with the past. I was so lost without it until she grounded me with her honesty. Maybe that’s why I came here…to see how it would feel to let it go, if only for a short while. She’s a safe place to hide from the world and who I couldn’t be. I hope I’m the same for her.

Pushing away any other thoughts except the way she looks and feels on top of me, I concentrate on giving her what she wants. To be fully present in the here and now. A mindless f*ck. I focus on her pleasure and what makes her gasp and grind against me. Her face is flushed, her head thrown back. I repeat the motion, strumming her clit with one hand while hitting deep inside her with the fingers of my other hand. She clamps her hands on my wrists and cries out, her whole body taut. She’s so f*cking beautiful I lose my breath watching her.

My dick is hard and insistent beneath her, but I don’t make a move to relieve it. I’m too mesmerized by the new look in her eyes. I move my hands around to her hips and up to her waist. She lies down on top of me with a sigh, her head tucked beneath my chin. Smoothing my hands up her back, I close my eyes and focus on the feel of her. I could lie like this with her forever and never move.

Pressing her hot, open mouth to my chest, she sucks, marking me. The sting shoots straight to my dick and I push on her hips to relieve the ache she’s creating. Her mouth begins a journey south as she inches down my body, licking and biting. I groan as her breasts rub against my dick. And then she’s on her knees between my legs, taking me in her mouth. My breath hitches. I lift my head to watch.

Her eyes are on mine as her lips wrap around my shaft, pistoning along with her hand, up and down. I stroke the side of her face. She takes me deep, sucking hard. My vision blurs. She does something with her other hand that makes my hips jerk. Oh, f*ck. I’m gonna come. My head drops back and I can’t move. She has me pinned down. Her mouth is f*cking genius. My hips buck in time with her strokes. The tightening of my fingers on her scalp is the only warning she gets. I raise my head, my whole body tight. She deep-throats me and that’s it. My hips flex as I come in her mouth. There’s a roaring in my ears and I go temporarily blind.

She holds on to me until I go lax, her gaze never leaving mine. Lifting her head, she pulls her mouth off me slowly, as though she’s reluctant to let go. Her lips purse at the tip and she gives my dick a kiss. The way she looks at me in that moment is unreal. I’m ripped wide open. Who is this girl and how did I get here with her?

“Come here.” I tug on her wrist.

She crawls back up my body, straddles my hips, her forearms bracketing my head, and looks down at me. I take her face in my hands and kiss her, openmouthed. It’s a lazy, sated kiss. We’re the wrong way on the bed. My legs dangle over the side and she’s heavy on top of me, but I’m more comfortable than I’ve been in a long damn time. Maybe it’s the booze or the sex or both. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just her. I can’t remember feeling this easy, like anything could happen and I’d roll with it instead of it rolling over me.