Atone (Recovered Innocence #2)(28)

In two seconds he’s out, snoring like a chain saw. I hate that he can drop off so fast, that he fell asleep before me, and how glad I am that last night wasn’t a one-off for him. Glad isn’t the right word. I’m thrilled. Way more than I should be. Us starting something is not a good idea. It’s probably the stupidest idea I’ve had in a long time. The thing is, I don’t see how I could’ve avoided it if I’d wanted to. I like him. A lot. I even like his snoring. This big grizzly bear of a man has worked his way past my defenses as if they weren’t even there. I sift my hand through his hair, wondering what in the world I’m going to do with him and where I would be without him.





Chapter 13


Beau


I leave Vera sleeping in her bed with a note to meet me later at the office, and go home to take a shower and change clothes for work. It was damn hard getting out of a bed with a warm, naked, sexy woman in it, but I’m too new at the agency to take a day off. Being late is going to be bad enough. I’ll have to work overtime to make up the time. I don’t want Mr. Nash to think I’m using my relationship with Cora to take advantage of his generosity. I’m lucky to have this job, and the truth is I like it. I like following cyber-trails to see where they’ll take me and what I’ll find out.

My head pounds like a motherf*cker and I have to pull over to the side of the road to hurl in the gutter halfway between Cora’s apartment and Vera’s motel. I’m never drinking again. As much fun as getting drunk was, it’s not worth the morning after. This is the torture my dad puts himself through every day? No, thank you. The worst part is how irresponsible I was with Vera. At lunch I’m going to buy some earplugs and condoms. That shit cannot happen again. I know way better than that. I haven’t been this disappointed in myself in a long damn time.

I’m missing parts of last night. Some of it is vivid in my memory and some of it is a black hole. I can’t piece together how I got from eating pizza at the table with Vera to f*cking her brains out. That is a huge chunk I’d really like to get back. I have no idea what I did or said that led up to that moment or even what Vera did or said. She seemed okay with what happened, but what if her memory is as faulty as mine? Ugh. Never, ever again.

I unlock the door to Cora’s apartment and go inside. She’s in the kitchen, making herself a cup of tea in a to-go mug. Leo sits on the couch with coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other, watching a morning show.

Cora takes in my appearance and makes a face. “You look like shit.”

“I feel like shit.” I head straight for the coffeemaker to see if Leo left me any.

“You stink too.” She comes closer and sniffs me. “Were you drinking?”

“God. Not so loud, okay?”

“After seeing dad blitzed out of his mind yesterday, you went out and got drunk?” She reaches up and smacks me in the head. “What is wrong with you?”

I wince. “Owww. That f*cking hurt.”

“Not cool, dude,” Leo tosses in.

“Good,” Cora says, excruciatingly louder than necessary. “I hope you feel sick all day. I hope you vomit up your guts and your head hurts so bad it feels like it’s going to roll off your shoulders. Oh, my God!” She hits me in the arm. “You didn’t drink and drive, did you? You don’t even have your license back yet.”

“I drank between the driving, not during it, okay?”

“No. Not okay. I don’t want two alcoholics in the family. I can’t do that, Beau. I just can’t.”

“It was just one time. Believe me, I’m never doing that again.”

“You’re a child of an alcoholic. You’re four times more likely to have a problem with alcohol than someone whose parent doesn’t drink. Did you know that?”

“Fuck, Cora. Do you have to be so loud?”

“If this happens again I’m kicking you out.” There are tears in her voice and her lower lip shakes. “Please don’t make me kick you out after everything.”

I go completely still. Seeing her like this guts me. I can’t move. I did this to her. After everything she did for me, I hurt her the way Dad hurts her.

Leo must’ve heard the quiver in her voice too, because he comes to stand next to Cora and puts his arm across her shoulders. He glares at me in warning.

“It was just one time,” I tell her. “I swear.”

“I hope that’s true,” she tells me.

“I missed a lot of things,” I say quietly. “Getting piss drunk is one of them.”

Her hand goes to her mouth. “Oh,” she breathes.

“I’m sorry. It was stupid. I swear it will never happen again. Okay?”

She nods, her eyes watery above her hand.

“Come on, Bluebird. Let’s let Beau get his coffee,” Leo says, scrunching up his nose. “And a shower.”

“Yeah, okay.” She lets Leo lead her out of the little kitchen area and into the bedroom area.

I hear them whispering and her sniffing. I want to bash my head against the cabinets, but I’m pretty sure it would crack open. After a few moments they leave the apartment and I’m alone with my self-loathing. I didn’t even think of Cora when I bought that bottle of alcohol last night. All I thought about was not thinking for a little while. When I’m with Vera is the only time my brain is quiet. I wish she were here right now. She’d say something to make the scene with Cora less of a f*ck-up.