Always Have: A Bad Boy Romance(20)

“I didn’t want to have to explain it all to her,” he says after a while.

“Who?”

“Aubrey,” he says. “She knows we lost them, but … you know. You were there.”

I swallow back the lump in my throat and bite my lip so my eyes don’t tear up. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know why tonight was shit,” he says, his voice low and quiet. “It’s no one’s birthday, or some f*cking holiday. It just hits me sometimes, out of nowhere.”

I so rarely see this side of Braxton. I’m never sure how to handle it when I do. Right now, I want to put my arms around him, hold his head to my chest. But I don’t. I can’t.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Can I just sit with you for a while?”

“Yeah,” I say. “Of course you can.”

He looks at me, his deep dark eyes so piercing and true. “Thank you, Kylie.”

That lump is back in my throat, and it’s all I can do not to cry. I put my tea down on the coffee table to give myself an excuse to look away. “Anything for you, Braxton.”

Anything.





I wish Aubrey had run this weekend away idea by me before she blurted it out at the table. I’m not sure how I feel about the whole thing. As it is, a few weeks later I find myself walking into a vacation house in Leavenworth with her. Selene and Matthew drove in with us, and Derek and Kylie pull up about twenty minutes afterward.

Derek and Kylie.

I feel like my life is rapidly spinning out of control. I started dating Aubrey to take control back. This was my different. I was sick of the way things were—but instead of making things better, I’m pretty sure all I’ve done is make them worse.

If I wasn’t with Aubrey, Kylie might not have met Derek.

I’m not such an * that I don’t want Kylie to be happy. But he looks at her in a way that makes me want to punch him in the f*cking face. Like she’s his. He barely knows her.

Yeah, maybe someday another guy will earn the right to look at her that way, but they have to put in the work first. They don’t get to date her for a month and claim her forever.

Fuck, I’m a mess.

I have to admit, the house is nice. I can see why Aubrey was so excited. It’s right on the river, just a short walk from town. There’s a big kitchen, four bedrooms, a couple bathrooms, and a balcony overlooking the river.

Leavenworth is pretty touristy—everything is made to look like an old Bavarian village—but the mountains are gorgeous and the weather is supposed to be perfect all weekend. We all show up late on Friday night and don’t do much other than pick rooms and sack out.

I try not to wonder whether Derek and Kylie are having sex in the room on the other side of the house. Aubrey sucks me off before we go to sleep, which I admit takes my mind off everything for a little while.

That probably makes me a bad person.

The next day, the girls want to go into town and walk around. The guys get roped into it by default, although I don’t know why they want us along. Selene and Kylie seem content to go without us, but Aubrey insists we all go. She says it’s so we can have lunch together, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s because she wants to go shopping with my credit card.

She proves me right.

We wander in and out of the shops, and it isn’t long before Aubrey spots a jewelry store. She drags me inside by the arm, gasping over the selection. It’s not diamonds and shit, so I don’t have to worry about her hinting at engagement rings (because f*ck that right in the ass). But she does find a necklace she loves, and makes some not-so-subtle hints that she’d love to have it. There’s a bit of eyelash batting. I shrug and buy it for her.

I buy a lot of things for her.

In fact, the longer this relationship goes on, the more I’m beginning to wonder whether it’s me Aubrey is into, or my money—because she seems to like me, but when I buy her things she really likes me. I’ve already figured out how to ensure I get a blowjob, for example: buy her a present.

I like blowjobs as much as the next guy, but this is getting old.

The girls shop for a while longer, and I buy Aubrey a dress and a pair of sandals. Kylie shoots me a weird look, but I pretend I don’t notice. We have bratwurst and beer for lunch, which is pretty damn good (and I pay for Aubrey’s, of course), then head back to the house. Aubrey, Selene, and Matthew decide to take a trip to the grocery store to get supplies. Derek wants to go for a run, and I think about joining him, but my hamstring is a little twitchy this week and I don’t want to pull something.

Plus I’m having a hard time dealing with Derek.

He’s my client, and within the walls of my gym it’s all business. I can stay focused on my job. I’m getting him ready for training camp, and like hell if I’m going to let this f*cked-up storm in my head interfere with work.

Outside the gym, though, I vacillate between mild disdain and wanting to choke him out.

I decide to go sit out on the deck with a beer, relieved as f*ck that Aubrey left. I already need some space from her, and the weekend isn’t half over.

Kylie comes through the sliding door and stops. She’s holding a beer in one hand and a book in the other. “Oh, hey. Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was out here.”