Always Have: A Bad Boy Romance(25)

I need Kylie. “Look, I know you think I’m the * here, and usually you’d be right. But this is the least * thing I can possibly do for you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she asks. “Like you’re doing what’s best for me?”

“It’s better than pretending,” I say.

She gets up and wanders to the window, her arms crossed. “This is about Kylie, isn’t it?”

Fuck. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid, Braxton.”

I let out a breath. I don’t want the first time I say this aloud to be in the middle of a breakup, but there’s no point in lying to her now. “Yes. It’s about Kylie.”

“You know, when you told me your best friend was a woman, every alarm I have went off. You were so adamant about it, but I figured what the hell. I’d make sure you wanted me, regardless of how you felt about her. But no matter how f*cking hard I worked, no matter what I did, you never looked at me the way you look at her.”

“I’m sorry, Aubrey,” I say. “I wanted to give us a real shot. That’s the truth. But I just can’t.”

She grabs her purse and walks toward the door. “You’re going to wind up alone, you know that, right? Because whatever crush you’re nursing for her, it’s never going to happen. How long have you been letting her sabotage your life? If it hasn’t happened by now, it never will. Besides, who in their right mind would break up with a guy like Derek Marshall? Even you can’t compete with that.”

She walks out the door and slams it shut behind her.

Well, at least that was over quickly.

My first thought is to text Kylie and tell her I broke up with Aubrey. I don’t think it will make a goddamn bit of difference, but I want her to know. But randomly texting her with my relationship status update might come across as odd. I don’t usually make a big deal out of any break up—I just tell her the next time I see her. Maybe I’ll text Selene, and make a vague Facebook post, and hope the news gets back to Kylie.

I’m surprised at how light I feel. I didn’t realize how much Aubrey was weighing me down until now. Although what she said when she left still echoes through my mind. I did not like hearing that, mostly because I’m afraid it’s true.

I did want to make it work with Aubrey. But living a lie isn’t any better than all the shallow sex I was chasing before. It’s not even that her love of my credit card was insulting—which it was. I don’t love her, and it’s not an issue of needing time. I won’t ever love Aubrey.

There’s only one woman I’ll ever love.

I have no intention of going back to the womanizing I was doing before. The next time I f*ck someone, it’s going to be Kylie. That’s simply the way it’s going to be. I don’t care how long I have to wait. I won’t interfere with her relationship. I won’t sabotage what she has with Derek, and if that goes the distance, I’ll have to find a way to live with it.

But as soon as she’s single, I’ll be there.





Training camp and preseason start in August, and I don’t see much of Derek. He has practice, and travels for games. He texts me, and we see each other when we can. I think the distance does us some good. It’s good for me, anyway. I have more time to focus on the design clients I’ve picked up. It will still be a while before I’m earning enough to quit what I’ve now labeled my day job, but at least I’m on my way.

I go a few weeks without seeing Selene, simply because we’re both busy, but she tells me over the phone that she’s not so sure about Matthew anymore. She says he gets moody and ignores her. I tell her to dump his dumb ass and find someone who isn’t shitty to her. I don’t know if she’ll listen to me.

As far as Braxton, after Leavenworth he goes totally dark. I don’t see him or hear from him at all. I notice a few vague Facebook status updates that make me wonder what’s going on with him, but he doesn’t call.

Of course, neither do I. I’m not sure what to say to him.

Derek texts me on a Tuesday, asking if I want to get together tonight. Five minutes later, I get the same text from Selene. I waffle a bit, trying to decide what to do, and wind up telling Selene I just heard from Derek. I suggest we all meet up somewhere. Everyone seems happy with that plan.

I head home after work to change. I’m feeling kind of saucy, so I put on a red halter top, black miniskirt, and a gorgeous new pair of black heels. They have just a hint of shimmer, plus they’re high so I won’t feel like such a shorty next to all the tall people I hang out with.

Derek picks me up and leads me out to the curb. I don’t see his car. Instead, there’s a sexy black convertible Mercedes.

“Is this yours?” I ask.

“Yep,” he says, looking rather proud of himself. “I picked it up this morning.”

“It’s gorgeous,” I say.

Derek opens the door for me and I slide into the luxurious leather seat. He gets in, puts on a pair of sunglasses, and gives me a little smile. I have a good feeling about tonight.

We arrive at the bar and find Selene, sans Matthew.

“Aw, why are you here by yourself?” I ask, as I slide into the booth across from her.

“He’s sick,” she says. “But I wanted to see you, so I came anyway.”