A Missing Heart(78)

She cocks her head to the side and gives me another tight hug. “Mom convinced me to dress a little nicer,” she says in my ear.

Mom. A word Cammy never heard before, a word she deserved to hear a million times over the course of thirteen years.

I look past the messy mop of hair in my face and over to Cammy, who has her hand plastered over her mouth with her eyes half shut, assumedly fending off the tears. “She called me Mom,” Cammy mouths to me.

“How’s it been going?” I ask Ever.

She hops off my lap and takes a seat at the table between us. “It pretty much sucked for the first couple of months, being back here, but then I got to come live here, and I’ve been having the best time.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me,” I tell her.

“You know,” Ever begins. “I had a good life. I was taken care of and stuff. I never needed or wanted anything since they were pretty loaded, but the only thing that was always missing was real love. I don’t know if they ever felt that way for me, the way I can tell the two of you do.”

Guilt seeps through my veins once again, even though I didn’t have any say in the adoption process, I know how badly some parents want to adopt a baby, and they would do nothing but spend every second of the child’s life loving them with a real kind of love. I also know there are a few who adopt for the wrong reasons, and I always prayed that would never happen to Ever, but what could we control? They seemed genuinely excited to get her that day in the hospital thirteen years ago. How would we have known any different? “Some adopting parents were put on this earth to save a child. And some birth parents were never meant to be without their child. Then, there are some who should never have had children.” We’re all placed accordingly in life, there for those who need the love.

“I know,” she says. “I pretty much know everything there is to know about adoption. I’ve been researching it since I was ten.”

“Do you miss them?” I ask her. I don’t want to pretend like we’re swooping in to save the day. She had a life with these people, and they did take care of her, kept her safe and healthy until they passed away, until the time was right for Ever to come back into our lives again. I owe them respect for that.

“Yeah,” she says. “I do, but they were never around. I miss my nanny more.”

“Understandable,” I say with a sigh. “So tomorrow is the big day, huh?”

Ever clasps her hands together and smiles harder than I’ve ever seen her smile. “I can’t wait!”

“Us too,” Cammy says, proudly. “Actually, wait here. I have something for you—something I wanted to give you today.” Cammy jogs down the hallway into her bedroom and returns a moment later, handing Ever a small, suede bag. “I want you to have this.”

Ever pulls a silver ring out of the bag and examines it with a gleam in her eyes. “A ring?” I examine it a little closer as well, recognizing it.

“I couldn’t think of a better day to give this to you. AJ gave it to me right before you were born. It’s a promise ring—it was a promise that we would be together as a family.”

“I don’t understand,” Ever says. “But I love it. Thank you!” Ever throws her arms around Cammy’s neck and then mine. She doesn’t understand because it was our intention to be together and a family from the beginning.

“I can’t believe you kept that, after all this time,” I say to Cammy.

“It’s been locked away in my hope chest,” she says through a small smile. I get it.

“I do have a question, though,” Ever says. “Does this mean you’re officially my dad?”

While I know the answer to this, I also know what I wish the answer would be.

“It’s a little complicated,” Cammy tells her for me.

“You mean; you have to get married or something to make that official?”

“That’s one way, yeah,” Cammy agrees. “But—”

“I know,” Ever says.

“I am half responsible for you being in this world, Ever, and for that reason alone, I will always be your dad. The legal stuff will come in time, okay?”

“Okay,” she says with a sluggish shrug. “I’m hungry.” She changes the subject, reminding me she’s a teenager as she stands up from the table and goes into the kitchen to fix herself a bowl of cereal.

“Daddy!” Gavin screams. “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” I run into the other room, finding Gavin nearly in tears. He looks confused, as I’m sure he did at four in the morning too, though it was probably still dark at least. Now, it’s pretty clear he’s in a room he’s never been in before.

“I’m here, buddy.” I take him out of the crib and quickly change his diaper. Grabbing the diaper bag, I bring it out to the kitchen so I can put together some food for him.

“Does he like eggs?” Cammy asks.

“Probably more than dried cereal,” I laugh.

“Eggs!” Gavin shouts.

“I can make the best eggs ever,” Cammy tells him, sweetly.

Gavin shrieks with excitement and squirms out of my arms to get down. He runs over to Cammy and wraps his little arms around her leg as she cracks the eggs into a bowl. “I help!”