A Missing Heart(76)

“What’s the difference?”

“The difference is: I’ve loved you since I was sixteen. I never stopped loving you, AJ. It’s not something you can turn on or off. It’s not about being labeled or intimate. I just want to be near you.”

Her words touch me in a way that’s never happened before. Not because they’re straight from her heart, but because it’s exactly how I’ve felt since the moment she walked out of my life. I was angry at her for blocking me out, and for so long I just wanted to hate her, but my heart would never allow that emotion to take over.

“I haven’t stopped loving you either, Cam. Not even for a second. Trying to replace you felt impossible, as I was always comparing every woman to you. You’re a tough one to compete with.”

She lifts her head from my chest and looks up at me through her thick, dark lashes. “Really?”

“Evidently, women don’t like hearing about ex-girlfriends. It’s a turn-off,” I say, smirking.

“Well, it’s a turn-on, when you are the ex-girlfriend.”

“Now, those are flirting words, whether you think so or not.”

“See, I told you, you’d know when I was flirting,” she says as the corners of her lips perk up.

She tilts her head to the side, letting all of her loose hair fall to her shoulder as she gently pinches her bottom lip between her teeth.

“So then, you know exactly what you’re doing to me right this second then?”

Her smile grows a little wider. “Maybe.”

My chest has never tightened so much at the thought of kissing a woman, not since we were kids, and I was just plain nervous back then that I didn’t know how to kiss, which I probably didn’t.

With contemplation swimming through my mind, I stare through her eyes, trying to read her every thought, but all I can focus on is the rise and fall of her chest, how fast it’s moving, compared to how fast my heart is beating.

I sweep my hand around her neck, combing my fingers up and around her ear, while embracing the softness of each strand of hair that slides over my fingers. The familiarity of touching her is like the sensation of coming home after being away for too long. Nothing else could possibly feel as right as I feel when I’m beside her.

“AJ,” she sighs.

“Cam?”

“Please don’t make me suffer,” she begs.

“Suffer?” I ask, coyly.

I move in a little closer, enjoying the quiver working its way through my body. Wetting my lips with the tip of my tongue, I feel her hand clench at my pant leg. Her cool, minty breaths are quick and breezing against my face while I take my sweet time making her suffer. With only an inch between us, I take her hand and place it over my heart. “This has been missing for so long, Cammy. It only beats like this for you. It has only ever beat like this for you.”

Her eyes close and her lashes gently feather out like a fan over her fair skin, a part I used to love to watch before I closed my eyes. I swallow hard enough that she can probably hear, and softly touch my lips to hers, holding them there for a brief moment. As if I were stepping into ice cold water, I need my body to adjust to the temperature. The sensation is overwhelming, and slow is the only way to move forward. With more firmness behind our connection, my grip tightens as I cup the back of her head in my hand, and my other arm wraps around her back. Holding her firmly against me, as if I were afraid of separating, I lose all sense of control. My lips can no longer be tamed and can no longer continue at a gentle, slow pace. I’m proving my longing, absence, need, want, desire, and everything in between. Our breaths are erratically harmonizing in a melodic fashion, and it’s easily one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.

The sheets float around us like a light breeze; my mind has skipped the parts when our clothes disappeared, and there’s nothing between us except our hearts and souls.

I’ve heard when two people are meant to be together, the universe will create paths unbeknownst to the shallowness and bare capabilities of our minds, yet will work as a powerful force to reconnect what never should have been separated.

I believe we were always meant to be together, but we needed Ever and Gavin to make us who we are today, because these people we have become are what we needed to be to fit together as we were intended to be.

Feeling the need to enjoy every second of this moment with Cammy, I also have the desire to watch it all, memorize it, and keep it with me forever. My life tends to take sharp turns and I’ve failed to hold on in the past, but I refuse to make the same mistake again.

I run my hands up and down the length of her bare body as she moves in waves with her fingertips dug into the thick of my chest. Her head is back and her lips are slightly parted. Needing another view to add to this memory, I grip her by the sides and flip her to her back. My hands continue to roam free, touching every inch of her body as my lips follow in the trails. Everything between us as teenagers was innocent and filled with an exciting fear of committing to the action in itself, but now, it’s filled with love, lust, and a commitment to please her more than anyone else has ever pleased her.

Tracing my tongue over her breast and around her nipple, her body jerks harder against me, and her fingernails leave sharper imprints in my skin. Her cries become audible, and her lips part wider, proving a lack of control. As her muscles tighten beneath my grip, I drop my head toward her neck and nip at her ear before dragging my tongue from her lobe to her collar bone. “Only you,” she cries. “My God, AJ.”