A Missing Heart(71)

“She left you, didn’t she?” Dad asks.

“Harold!” she scolds. “Why would you assume something like that? I’m sure whatever it is can be worked out.” If only it were that easy.

“Look, I never wanted to worry you about Tori but yes, she left me, but not without reason,” I begin.

“Because of Cameron and—I don’t understand,” Mom says, clearly flustered.

“Cameron isn’t to blame. The timing was bad, yes, but Tori’s in a hospital right now. She’s um—she’s been unhappy for a while, and it’s not good. Evidently, she doesn’t want me around anymore.”

“Can we cheer her up somehow?” Mom asks innocently. “Maybe she has a slight bout of depression or postpartum depression. It’s so common.”

“She’s tried to…end her life twice, Mom.” As if it wasn’t bad enough witnessing these attempts, the horrifying expression on Mom’s face isn’t helping.

“I had no idea things were that bad,” she says quietly. “I’m sorry you’ve been going through this with her. I’m sorry she’s been suffering so dearly. I wish there was something I could do.”

“The only thing anyone can do for her is let her go. She blames me. What can I do after hearing that?” I ask, feeling my heart wrench with pain once again. How could I cause someone so much pain?

“Well, what about Gavin?” Mom asks. The look within her eyes is pure panic. “Will you have to figure out custody. Is it that serious. Are you going to get a divorce?” Mom’s questions and flying and I know it’s out of concern, but I don’t have much to respond with. “Maybe couples counseling or something like that can help you both. I mean, divorce doesn’t have to be the final answer.” It’s like she isn’t hearing me correctly, or maybe she doesn’t want to accept it. Mom prefers to wear rose-colored glasses, and sometimes I wish I could see life the way she does.

“She doesn’t want to be around Gavin either. She blames him too.”

I haven’t seen Mom’s nostrils flare in a long time. It only happens when she’s angry or upset to the point of breaking down. “He’s just a baby. Maybe you misunderstood her, AJ. That can’t be right. I know Tori has had a hard transition into motherhood, but I don’t think she would do that to Gavin. What mother could?”

I swallow my pain and close my eyes to avoid the look in Mom’s. “I—I don’t have a better answer. I only know what Tori has made clear to me.”

“I don’t understand,” Mom says, solemnly.

I almost forgot Cammy and Ever were in the truck. “Mom, I know this is a lot right now, but can we put this discussion aside long enough to meet Ever? I need to put things with Tori on hold for the moment.” I exhale loudly, trying very hard to switch gears. God, this is hard. “Trust me, I didn’t plan for this all to happen at once. It’s more than my brain can even handle right now, and I’m just trying to take every moment as it comes.”

“Ever?” Mom asks, calming herself down, it seems.

“My daughter,” I reply.

“That’s her name?” Mom says through a sob. “It’s—it’s the most beautiful name I could have imagined her having.”

“Please, be easy. Ever is going through a lot of trauma right now, and she’s angry about it.”

“Of course,” Mom says, perking up.

“I get to meet her?” Olive pipes in, clapping her hands together. “Yay!”

Oh my God. This is going to go horribly; I grumble to myself.

I hand Gavin to Hunter and run back outside to grab the girls. “Coast is clear,” I say with a lighthearted chuckle to ease their nerves.

Ever and Cammy follow me into the house, Ever standing nearly on my heels, hiding from everyone. “Mr. and Mrs. Cole, it’s nice to see you again,” Cammy says, leaning forward to give Mom a hug.

Mom doesn’t want to let go of her, and I’m about ready to step in to save Cammy. I clear my throat to break up her sentimental embrace and lightly tug Ever out from behind me. I don’t know what my face looked like when I saw Ever for the first time when she was born or the first time this past week, but if my face looked anything like Mom’s, Dad’s, or Hunter’s, I’d probably cry while looking in the mirror. They all look surprised, but so happy. For the first time in my life, everyone is speechless, and I’m not sure what to say to break this ice. “My God,” Hunter says. “You look like your dad—I mean AJ.”

“She has Cammy’s perfect little nose,” Mom says.

“You got the Cole eyes,” Dad laughs. “Lucky girl.”

Ever doesn’t say anything. I’m assuming she’s feeling pretty overwhelmed, as I would too. I actually don’t know how she’s kept it together as well as she has this week. I wonder when she found out she was adopted and how that went. I haven’t asked that. There’s so much I haven’t asked, and I feel like I’m running out of time.

“You are absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful,” Mom adds in. “I knew if you two stayed together, you would someday have a beautiful child. I just didn’t know it had already happened.” Mom’s choking up again and I get it. I’ve dropped an atom bomb on every person I love this week.