A Missing Heart(68)

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I snap at her.

She recoils and lifts a brow…my brow, just like I do when I’m questioning someone. “No, thank you. The boys I went to school with were all jerks.”

Thank God.

“We do have something we need to talk to you about, Ever,” Cammy spits out.

“Let me guess,” Ever says, standing from the couch. “You two have come to a fork in the road and can’t make a decision on who I should stay with.”

“That’s not it,” I tell her. “Not even close.”

“Then what?” she asks softly, as the confidence her voice seeps away.

Gavin is squirming out of Cammy’s arms. She puts him down on the floor where he crawls over to me. It’s almost as if Gavin can sense the destruction coming at us a million miles an hour. I lift him up and take a seat on the other side of Cammy. “So, you ran away from your foster home last week,” Cammy begins.

“Yeah, so? I found you, and you’re my biological parents. It shouldn’t be an issue, obviously,” Ever spits out, making it clear she’s thought her actions through already.

“Yes, we are, but we don’t have any rights to you. As of this minute, the state of Pennsylvania owns the rights to you, as well as your well-being, and the authorities there are requiring us to take you back temporarily until we settle things properly. It sounds awful, Ever, I know this.”

“Awful?” she says with a cynical laugh. “Awful would be if you lived one day in that foster house with six other brats who all beat each other up while fighting for the attention of the two foster parents. It felt like they didn’t even know I was living there.”

“We understand,” I say. “But in order to regain our parental rights, we have to go through the state to do so. There is a lot of paperwork involved and even a trial.” I say the last part, looking at Cammy, trying to remember if that’s what she said.

Cammy nods with agreement. “That’s right. We have to play the state’s game while they get everything in order. I need to meet with the adoption agency in Pennsylvania to find out what steps need to happen next.”

Ever is pacing in small circles, holding the back of her neck between her hands. “Well, do you even want me?” she asks us both.

Cammy and I look at each other, sharing a brief moment through a question that travels back thirteen years to the few moments we spent together as a family right after Ever was born.

“More than anything in this world,” Cammy says.

“More than pizza,” I add.

Ever cocks her head to the side and narrows her eyes at me. “You’re not funny,” she says.

“I kind of am,” I argue.

“Ever,” Cammy interrupts our bickering. “We want you more than anything in the world, but we have to do things correctly.”

“Well, you’re a lawyer. Can’t you do that?” Ever asks.

“Yes, but things have to go through the process, which can take a little time, from what I’ve been told.”

Ever stops pacing and nods her head a little. “Wait, what are you saying?” We both give her a minute to try and understand before continuing. “No. No! You can’t make me go back to that foster house. You can’t!”

“It’s not up to us, Ever,” I tell her.

She races across the hotel room, grabbing a grocery bag full of things and heads for the door. “I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not,” I tell her, handing Gavin to Cammy. “You’re staying here, and we’re figuring this out as a family.”

I take her by the arm, pulling her away from the door. “A family?” she laughs. “A family—that’s what you call this? You’re married to a woman who obviously hates your guts, and Cameron’s engaged to some…some…ghost or whatever, and let’s not forget about the fact that you two were the morons who got knocked up at seventeen and had to hand me off to a couple of rich people who promised to give me the best life ever. Except, then they died and left me as an orphan.”

Each of her words is like bullet to my chest. My fears of what I always suspected my daughter might think of me are shooting up like explosives in my face, blaring the truth I wanted to pretend wasn’t real.

“We’re going to fix this,” I tell her.

“I’m already broken, AJ,” she seethes. “And what if you can’t fix this? I stay in foster care until I’m eighteen, and then I’m supposed to come running back to the two people who ruined my life?”

Cammy is in tears, crying her heart out on the couch, feeling the same type of guilt I’m feeling. I don’t know how to respond to Ever, and I don’t know how to make Cammy feel better, and Jesus…how did my life come to this in a matter of a week?





CHAPTER TWENTY


FEELING LIKE A shitty dad as it is, I brought Gavin home for the night so he can sleep in his own bed, now that he’s been shuttled around for the last couple of days. I asked Cammy to come back to my house with me, but she insisted it might feel weird for all of us, seeing as I’m still legally married to the woman I own this house with. The last thing I wanted to do tonight was be away from Cammy and Ever, knowing they’re leaving first thing in the morning. I told them I’d meet them at the hotel at seven to give them a ride to a car rental location so they can get going.