A Terrible Fall of Angels (Zaniel Havelock #1)(105)

“Talk to me, Havoc,” Ravensong said.

“Let me get someplace quieter,” I said, having to move so that the teenagers could get a better look at stones in the case behind me. I looked around the store and finally spotted Emma walking with an older woman, but their backs were to me as they looked at books. God help me, I didn’t want to leave Jamie upset. I didn’t want him to think that I’d abandoned him again.

“Havoc, talk to me,” Ravensong said; her patience was starting to wear thin, and I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m here, Athena, just give me a second.” I pushed through the doors to the sidewalk. It was a lot less crowded than the store. I stood where I could glance in the windows in case I saw Jamie, but I owed Ravensong my attention.

“You almost never call me by my first name unless you’re at the house socializing with the missus and me,” she said, her voice wary now instead of angry.

“I just learned that some of the people at the College of Angels may be stripping people of their totems and guides, all except their Guardian Angels.”

“I’d heard the rumor,” she said.

“I hadn’t,” I said.

“You don’t hang out with enough pagans to hear the rumors.”

“I’ve talked to someone who has regained his totem after the College stripped it away from him as a child.”

“Are you saying that your little friend from the College, the Infernalist, took my raccoon?” Her voice rose, the anger back and hotter than before.

“No, she may have tried, but somehow it’s with me.”

“What do you mean, it’s with you?” She sounded surprised, maybe even shocked.

“When I was able to see my friend’s totem and his girlfriend’s totem, then I could see the raccoon with me. It looked like the same one that I saw with you in the interrogation room, but I’m not an expert on raccoons so the friend told me to call and check with you.”

“I can’t guarantee it’s mine, but I’m missing my little guy and it would be a hell of a coincidence if it was someone else’s raccoon that you absconded with.”

“I didn’t abscond with anyone. The friend thinks that when the Infernalist tried to strip it away from you, it hid using my energy so she couldn’t damage its tie to you.”

“That raccoon has been my co-walker through life for over thirty years, so I’d call that damaged.”

“But he’s not gone, in fact he’s looking at me like he wants me to hand him the phone again, but he’s not that solid.” Then I realized that I didn’t know much about totems yet, so I added, “Is he? I mean, can a totem be solid enough to hold a phone?”

“Not really, or not usually, but then you’re not supposed to be able to take someone’s totem away from them. Trauma or abuse can change your totem, either its nature from nice to more protective, or even switch one animal for another that will help you survive what you’re going through, but it’s not possible to steal someone’s totem.”

“I thought you said that magic could do exactly that?”

“It’s possible to damage someone’s totem, or their connection to it, or sometimes in rare cases totems can even take some of the mental or emotional damage so the human they’re with doesn’t suffer the full brunt of it, but no magic can steal it from you.”

“Guardian Angels do that, take some of the mental and emotional and spiritual damage for the people they guard, especially children,” I said.

“One day we’ll sit down and have a long discussion on the differences between totems, angels, spirit guides, the works, but right now I need you to come for a visit, so I can get back with my little buddy there.”

“Let me say goodbye to my friend and I’ll head your way, and I’m sorry, Ravensong, sorry about all of it.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Havoc, you backed me up magically like you’ve done a dozen times before. I’m too upset to meditate about it yet, but I think my raccoon even tried to warn me off, he was certainly waving at me just before everything went sideways. If a witch ignores her own guides, then it’s her own damn fault.”

“I’m still sorry that your hand isn’t completely back to normal, and that Suriel seems to have tried to strip you of your totem.”

“Okay, you can be sorry since it was your friend that did the second part, but I’ll tell you this: All my other totems and guides are exactly where they’re supposed to be, so your little friend wasn’t able to do what she tried to do.”

“I don’t agree with the College stripping children of their totems, but I can see their reasoning, but for Suriel to try to strip you of your totem, that’s . . . an outrage and an insult to a witch of your strength and talent.”

“The Infernalists are the ones most likely to come out of the College to help with demon shit; this makes me wonder if we need to double-check anyone they’ve helped and double-check that their totems and spirit guides are intact,” she said.

“God help us, I hadn’t even thought that far yet.”

“Seeing someone from your past can be hard, especially if you were close once; it messes with all of us, Havoc.”

“Thanks for understanding, Athena.”