Worth Saving(55)
I have to take a minute to let all the information settle in, because now I’m worried. It was one thing when I thought I was just avoiding Damien being an annoying, intruding *, but it’s something completely different when it involves him losing money.
In the time I’ve spent at Red Pony, I’ve seen Damien hit multiple women, but it’s always worse when the situation involves money. The only thing I know Damien loves is money, it’s all he cares about. The last thing any of us want to do is keep him from making it, and when one of us does, he’s equal opportunity in how he deals with it. He wants to make his response as violent, and as public as possible, because he wants it to be a lesson to the rest of the girls. This is the fate I may have inadvertently brought upon myself.
“Are you still there, Layla?” Marlene says after I take too long to respond.
“Umm, yeah, I’m here,” I say, swallowing hard. “Umm, well, I don’t really know what to say, Marlene. When he texted me, he didn’t say anything about a client asking for me. I didn’t know about that.”
“Okay. Maybe you should tell him that, sweetie.”
“Yeah, maybe I should. You think I should call him?”
“Yeah, you probably should. Just tell him you didn’t know, and maybe he’ll just let it go.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I reply as my heart rate starts to pick up. The fear I feel when it comes to Damien is something that’s nearly impossible for me shake. He’s branded all of us with that fear. He’s beaten it into all of us who’ve made the mistake of getting on his bad side. That fear grips me and tries to keep me from doing anything. I can barely move, I can barely think. It’s a strait jacket.
“Okay, well, I’ll let you go so you can call him and get this all worked out before you come in tomorrow,” Marlene says, finally sounding like she’s starting to come down from her own fear of Damien. That’s the effect he has on all the girls who work at Red Pony—he makes you afraid, even if he’s never laid a finger on you.
“Okay, I really appreciate you calling me to give the heads up about all this,” I say as I finish zipping up my dress and sit on the bed. “I’m gonna call him now, and I’ll see you when I come in tomorrow.”
“Okay, sweetie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After I hang up the phone, I sit on the edge of the bed and think. I rest my chin in my palms and sit there, wondering if it’s even worth it to call Damien. I’ve known him long enough to know he doesn’t forgive easily, if at all. He’s just not a very nice person, and he thrives on seeing other people being afraid. It makes him feel powerful, and it gives him control over all of us, and that’s a control I don’t want him—or anybody else—to have over me. So, if I call him, I have to beg for his mercy and tell him I didn’t know what the phone call was about at all, which he’ll counter by saying I should be answering all calls from him no matter what. He’ll be pissed I ignored his call at all, and there’s no way to get around that. There’s no fix to it, so what’s the point? Why give Damien the satisfaction of hearing me beg for mercy? And what if he asks me to come in tonight? What if he wants to punish me by making me come in and working earlier than I’m supposed to? Am I willing to put my plans with Austin on hold so I can go back to work and be forced to be with someone else?
I look up and see myself in the mirror, and I hate how I look. Today’s my birthday, and this is the last thing I wanted to have to deal with when I woke up this morning. Austin and I decided we wouldn’t go out. We just wanted to enjoy a night in together for my birthday, since I have to go back to work tomorrow, and he has plans to go out with Jason and Jordan. This is supposed to be a night for us to enjoy being together before we have to go back to the lives we had before we knew each other, and if I call Damien, there’s a good chance all of that’ll go right out the window. Even if Damien doesn’t tell me to come in, he’ll say something f*cked up to try to scare me, and I’ll end up thinking about it for the rest of the night, and I won’t be able to give Austin the attention he deserves. Damien will control our night. I’m not going to let that happen.
It’s bad enough I had to sit there at the table last night trying to act like I wasn’t worrying about my phone. It’s bad enough I had to lie to Austin again and tell him it was Marlene who was texting and calling. It’s bad enough I had to turn my phone completely off just to be able to enjoy my night with him. It’s bad enough I have to go back to work tomorrow knowing that at some point I’m actually going to have to do my job. I’m going to have to be the available girl I am. It’s bad enough I have to break Austin’s heart.
I won’t let Damien and Red Pony ruin this night. Austin and I made plans to be together before everything changes, and that’s what we’re going to do. So, I lift myself up off the bed and walk over to the mirror. I grab my brush and run it through my hair a few times to make it look the way I want it to, and I apply my lip gloss. I put on my silver necklace, then walk back over to the bed so I can put on my black heels.
I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Everything’s going to be different when I have to go back to work, and I know what that means for Austin and me. So, tonight I’m going with my heart. It might only be for one night, but tonight I’m going to be free. Tonight, I’m not going to think about Red Pony, or Damien, or my past, or the future. Tonight will only be about tonight. Tonight, I’ll let my guard down, and the only thing that’ll exist is the two of us. There’s no world outside of this apartment. Tonight, it’s just about us.