Worth Saving(58)
I feel a lump forming in my throat and it’s almost too big to swallow. I’ve never known someone who was able to be so thoughtful and who listened to me the way Austin does. He’s just incredible, and I’m so glad I met him that night in Stacy’s Bar.
“You’re amazing, Austin,” I hear myself say. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re very welcome,” he replies just as a tear rolls out of my left eye and slides down my cheek. Austin reaches up and wipes it away. “So, is it okay for me to move into phase three now?”
Still caught up in the moment and glaring at the gorgeous bracelet, I hear myself say yes. Then next thing I feel is Austin’s hand on my chin, lifting my head so that my eyes meet his. Then, he slowly leans in and softly presses his lips to mine. It’s not the first time we’ve kissed, obviously, but it feels like it. My heart accelerates and my skin heats up as he pulls my body closer to his, and I can feel the warmth emanating from him. His breathing is heavy and mine mirrors his, and I suddenly feel like I have no control over myself. Our hands clasp and we squeeze each other, completely overcome with passion and intensity.
I know where this is leading, and I think if this was any other person on any other day, I’d probably be pulling away right now. I don’t allow myself to get to this point with anybody, because I know we can’t be together. I know this only leads to heartbreak, and I know I should stop, but I don’t. Not this time. Now, I finally let myself go and I fall into him. My body hugs his and I let my hands find their way under his shirt, my fingers giding across his warm flesh. His skin feels so good on mine, and with every touch, I lose more control—I want him more and more.
I let him press himself up against me and the weight of him pushes me backwards. I lay back on the couch and he hovers over me, breathing heavily into my neck as he gently kisses me and uses his hands to squeeze down the length of my inner thigh. It all feels so good. It’s nothing like when I have to do this for “work.” When I’m being paid to be with someone, I have to go in a place in my head where I’m not actually with the person. I go to my nirvana and I stay there until it’s all over—until I can quickly get out of the hell I’m in. With Austin, there’s no need to go to my nirvana, because being with him in this moment is better. This moment is an entirely new sensation of ecstasy, and now that it’s happening, I wonder what took me so long to get here.
Suddenly, Austin stops. He takes a second to try to get his composure and he lifts himself up enough to be able to look me in the eye, his face totally controlled and serious.
“Layla, if you’re not ready for this, I want you to know I understand,” he says, never breaking eye contact. “I care about you, and I’m willing to wait as long as you need to—until you’re ready. All you have to do is say so. Okay?”
My brain tries to take a second to think about it, but I don’t even need that much time. Instead of answering him with my words, I wrap my hands around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. I let my tongue caress his, and then I slide my hands down his stomach and over his pants. I can feel his thickness through the material, and I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. His response is immediate, and he pulls off his shirt, revealing thick, hard muscles. His abs are solid and his shoulders are broad, and I can’t help it when my hands reach up to rub his physique.
He drops his shirt on the floor and leans forward, kissing me on my neck first, and then moving down to my chest before reaching my stomach. My breathing becomes labored and hard to control as he lifts up my dress and exposes my panties. He seems to take a moment to admire me, then he pulls them off and doesn’t even take a second to think before he plunges his tongue into me. My back arches and I gasp at how amazing it feels. It’s more than a sexual feeling. It’s more than erotic. It’s emotional. It’s impassioned. As he uses his tongue to bring me to a blissful orgasm, I grab his head and squeeze him as the tidal wave rushes over me.
When he’s done, I watch him as he stands up and takes off his pants. His body is perfect, just like the rest of him. He helps me slip out of my dress, he slides on a condom, and we spend the next hour on the couch, filling the entire room with our heat. Feeling him inside of me surpasses anything I ever expected from anybody, and I’ve never felt more connected to anyone during sex.
After the couch, Austin lifts me into his arms and carries me into the bedroom, where we spend another hour and a half. I’ve never felt anything like it. Once we’re done, I have to admit to myself that it was the most romantic, sensual night of my life, and as I lay there on his chest, I know something’s different. It’s not different in the way I thought it would be, it’s something else. Something unexpected that I can’t really explain or define.
I listen to him breathe in his sleep and I finally allow myself to think about tomorrow. I let myself remember Red Pony Gentlemen’s Club and my life before Austin. Then, I let my mind come back to the moment as I rub his stomach with my index finger and stare down at the bracelet he gave me.
Faith. Hope. Strength.
For the first time ever, I honestly feel like I have all three, and the timing couldn’t be better. I’m going to need them.
Austin
I close the door behind me and walk over to my couch, where I drop like a sack of potatoes and sink into the cushions. The emotion I feel is a combination of a bunch of things. I’m excited and thrilled, satisfied and terrified, all at the same time. It’s the best, most confusing thing I’ve ever felt—and I love it.