The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School(33)

Bo snaps a picture of me, which erases whatever was in my head. Class is almost over, and she hasn’t finished the portrait, so I guess she wants the picture to finish later. I try peeking one last time, but she slams her sketchbook shut. Ugh. Looks like I’ll have to wait until whenever she decides to let me see it. Hopefully before the art show all the way in freaking March.

Once October is in full swing, the only two things anyone cares about are homecoming and Halloween. The uniforms take the fun out of Halloween, so the hype for homecoming is a million times stronger. Public homecoming proposals are now a regular occurrence. So far, Hunter is the only one who’s asked me, which isn’t a surprise, because I don’t talk to that many people.

You can always expect at least one proposal to happen at lunch. It seems like almost everyone who goes to homecoming here makes a huge spectacle of it. There were a few public prom and homecoming proposals at Rover, but never this much. I wonder how Bo can stand to see so many proposals and still feel all mushy about it. It’s not like she—or I—can ever have that kind of cutesy public display at this school without getting tomatoes thrown at us.

Bo and Amber are huddled together across the lunch table on Bo’s phone, and I feel a little left out. At least David’s left out, too. I pull out my phone and confirm a few more Etsy orders to keep my mind from wondering what they’re talking about. We sold a wave of friendship bracelets, which I’m glad for, because they’re my favorite to make.

“What are you guys doing?” David finally asks, and I look up from my phone. I have to admit I’m curious.

“Trying to find Bo a girlfriend.” Amber says it like it’s no big deal. I shouldn’t feel jealous, especially because I already told them about Jamal. I needed to keep my lies straight. I don’t know why it felt so much worse to lie to my friends than my mom. I guess I feel like with my mom, it’s out of necessity, but with Bo, Amber, and David it feels selfish. Especially since Bo is one of the only ones at this school who might actually understand my situation. Still, I can’t risk the truth getting back to Mom.

“Don’t you have to be eighteen to use dating apps?” The thought of Bo getting a girlfriend gives me a weird sinking feeling.

“No need to call the cops, we’re just browsing!” Amber waves away my question. “What do you think of Jamie? She’s cute, right? She’s studying social and cultural analysis at ASU! Which we all know is basically queer studies. Sounds like Bo’s type of girl.” Amber shows me her screen, with a picture of a girl with blue hair and a lip ring.

“Yeah . . . she’s cute.” I force the words out of my throat.

“Hey, have you guys ever wondered how many people at this school are actually closeted?” David asks. I was almost glad for the subject to change. I think he’s just trying to be included in the conversation, but the question makes me queasy. “Like, statistically speaking, Bo can’t be the only one who’s not straight.” I almost choke on my food.

“It’s none of my business, so . . . ,” I say. Hopefully he’ll change the subject.

“Bo wasn’t the only one last year. Remember Elaina?” Amber says. Bo rolls her eyes.

“Yes, I was. Elaina’s not gay, she’s trans. It’s two different things,” Bo says flatly.

“I meant, like, you weren’t the only LGBTQ+ person here,” Amber says. “But David, I thought about the gay thing before, too. Jake Jeffrey is definitely gay. His girlfriend has to be a beard. I bet she’s in on it.” I don’t like this at all. If I wasn’t here, would I be on their list? I feel like Jesus’s eyes are judging me. “Hot Jesus,” as Cesar calls him (only to me). It’s the abs.

I look to Bo. If anyone has the guts to call this stuff out, it’s her. But she sits quietly without looking up from her food.

“And Ms. Felix, the art teacher? Definitely gay,” Amber adds.

“You can’t be sure about that kind of thing, though. Didn’t everyone think you were gay last year?” David asks Amber.

“That was only because Bo came out, and she’s my best friend.” Amber tosses a tater tot in the air and catches it in her mouth. Like she could care less that everyone assumed she was gay.

“Yeah, Yamilet, you might want to brace yourself for that. People assume all Bo’s friends are gay like her,” David says. Amber shoots him a glare on Bo’s behalf.

“Run while you can if you’re not cool with that,” Bo says. She’s not smiling.

“No, I’m cool,” I say. But I don’t know if I am.

Jenna and Karen are staring at us from across the room. At Bo, specifically. Karen giggles behind her overly tanned hands, and Jenna looks weirdly shy compared to normal. Karen pushes her toward us and trails behind.

“While we’re talking about who’s gay, Jenna might actually have a little crush on you, Bo.” David nudges Bo to get her attention.

Bo turns to look at them, and Jenna makes a little squeal and hides behind Karen. Bo gives Jenna a cute little smile, and I try to shove down the wave of jealousy before it shows on my face. Is Bo Jenna’s secret crush?

Jenna finally gets pushed in front of Karen, and she puffs out her chest and walks straight toward Bo. “Um, hi . . .”

“Hey, what’s up?”