The Fragile Ordinary(73)

When no response was forthcoming, I turned calmly around and continued on to school. I knew once she got over her surprise there would be a retaliation, but I didn’t care. I cared that I’d stood up to her...and in that moment I was willing to deal with the consequences of that because the self-respect I felt was worth it.

However, it wasn’t Alana’s retaliation that knocked me on my ass that day.

*

The bell for fourth period rang and I was walking to history, my mind on my surroundings. The sight of Jimmy coming toward me through the crowds made me want to stop and turn around, but I figured he’d just follow me. At least here there were witnesses.

I braced myself as he cut through the strolling pupils and stopped in front of me, arms out, blocking my way. I stared at him, willing someone to dump a bucket of water on him so I could watch him melt.

He smirked down at me. “Heads up—Alana’s pissed about whatever ye said tae her this mornin’. Watch yer back. Ye know—” he stepped closer, the smell of cheap aftershave and psychopath making my nose wrinkle “—ye’ve gotten pretty tasty for a geek. I’ll take ma turn soon enough. And I’ll enjoy doing it,” he whispered in my ear.

An awful apprehension kept me standing in the middle of the school corridor as he walked away, questioning if I’d understood what he was insinuating. How could he threaten me like that? Like it was okay. Like it was his right.

And no one seemed to see or care.

I stared around, checking faces through blurred vision, but everyone was just chattering among themselves, not seeing me there, which didn’t seem possible because somehow I was standing in the middle of the school corridor fearful and vulnerable.

And that made me so angry I couldn’t breathe.

A single tear dripped down my cheek and I brushed it aside impatiently as my rage seeped through the threat. Whether he really meant he’d assault me or whether it was said just to terrorize me, like Alana this morning, I wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of my fear.

I covered my chest with my books, holding them tight to me like a barrier, as I finally came unstuck. By the time I got to class, I was a mass of confusion and emotions. Jimmy’s insidious threat echoed over and over in my head and I think I finally realized that Stevie wasn’t coming back to Tobias and me.

“You look chalk white. What happened?” Vicki said in a hushed voice as I took my seat next to her in history.

Just seeing her, my ally, my friend, the tears threatened and I had to choke them back.

“Comet?” She gripped my hand, leaning in to me. “What happened?”

The whispered retelling just bubbled out of me and by the time I was done Vicki looked ready to kill someone. “Even if he was just messing with you, he can’t get away with saying that to you. Or cornering you when you’re on your own. You have to tell Tobias,” she insisted.

“Ladies, I’m sorry to interrupt what I’m sure is a fascinating discussion but if you could pay attention that would be wonderful.” Our history teacher rolled her eyes at us.

I shot Vicki a quelling look.

But only class kept her quiet. As soon as the bell rang she said, “Maybe you should tell a teacher. Mrs. Penman or Mr. Jenkins?”

“If I tell someone, I have to tell them why Jimmy and Alana are coming after me. It’ll lead back to Stevie and everything will come out. He could go to juvie, Vick.”

“Why are you still protecting him?” She was no longer hiding how beyond frustrated she was with me. “If Tobias knew what just happened he would not protect Stevie, I can assure you.”

“Don’t you dare tell Tobias.”

Her eyes widened. “Comet, this was serious before but now it’s in serious, serious territory.” She hissed under her breath, “Jimmy just insinuated he was going to assault you. Even if he’s just trying to scare you, it’s messed up!”

“Shh!” I glanced around to make sure no one was listening. “Look, what do you want me to do? It’s either we put up with them until they get bored or we tell someone and Stevie gets into trouble.”

“You don’t have to tell them anything about the drugs.”

“He’d still get into trouble.”

“At school. Big deal.”

“The big deal is that his life is hell, Vick. He feels betrayed.”

“That doesn’t mean you deserve this. Stop being a martyr and do something.”

There was a part of me that was angry at her but only because she was speaking to the girl inside of me who wanted to fight. Yes, Stevie’s life was crap right now, but how did his get any better by making my life worse? There was trying to be a friend, and then there was being a doormat. I didn’t want to be the latter. Finally, I sighed. “You’re right. I’ll talk to Stevie.”

“Not without Tobias.”

I scowled at her. “Telling Tobias sort of defeats the purpose of standing up for myself.”

She glowered right back at me, and we walked to the cafeteria in strained silence.

Lunch was painful. Vicki kept throwing me pointed glares that silently told me to tell Tobias what Jimmy had said, and Tobias kept staring at us in suspicion. He grew steadily more frustrated when I denied that anything was the matter. My plan had been to get through the rest of the day and then find Stevie and unearth the courage to tell him to back off.