The Fragile Ordinary(78)

And yet, staring into Tobias’s bright eyes, seeing his pride in me, seeing his belief in me, I thought maybe I could do it. Tobias reading my poetry had brought us together. Nothing negative had come from him reading my words. And I think that was what had given me the courage to approach Mr. Stone. The stage at Pan was a different kettle of fish.

“Someday,” I eventually said, “Maybe...if you talk to your mum about how you really feel.”

The light dimmed in his eyes and he pulled his hand from mine to settle back in his chair. His sullen expression probably should have warned me to back off. Instead I pressed him. “You’re still so angry with her, Tobias. And with your dad. Maybe if you tell your mum why you’re so angry it would help. Just put it out there.”

“Oh, like you’ve told your parents why you’re pissed at them?” he argued.

“Kyle tried to come down on me about you sleeping over after Dean’s party. I told him being a parent was an all-or-nothing deal and he’d made it clear over the years that he wanted nothing to do with me. He couldn’t change his mind to suit himself.”

Tobias raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“And what?”

“What did he say?”

I shrugged. “I slammed the door in his face.”

He studied me thoughtfully. “That sounds like an unfinished conversation.”

“At least I said something.”

“So you want me to yell at my mom and slam a door in her face?” He grinned. “Already got it covered.”

I tried not to smile, because this was serious. My boyfriend would go through life with a giant chip on his shoulder if he didn’t try to resolve his issues with his mum. “Tobias.”

He sighed, drained his coffee and stood up. I stared at him, wondering if I’d pushed him too far and he was going to leave me sitting in the café all alone. If that happened, I might cry. We’d had such a wonderful day up until this point. Why did I have to push it?

However, Tobias put his beanie back on and held out his hand to me. “It’s getting late. Let’s go back and ride the Ferris wheel.”

Relief flooded me and I grinned so hard that when he pulled me to my feet, he didn’t let go. Instead he cupped my face in his hands and whispered, “Your smile kills me.”

“That’s good though, right?”

“It’s the best thing in my life,” he answered and followed it up with the sweetest kiss.

As we walked out of Pan heading back toward Princes Street, I was filled with immense gratitude that I’d found Tobias. We could have discussions and disagree and he wasn’t going to hold it against me. We could just be ourselves and love each other without fear that we had to change or hold ourselves back or mute a part of our personality.

We loved each other.

This was real love, I decided as he hugged me close to his side. It had to be.

Because nothing had ever felt more real in my entire life.

*

Steph made me proud as she strutted her stuff and sang her heart out as Roxie Hart. Despite our differences, it was impossible not to feel excited for her as she took over that stage. Everyone in the cast paled in comparison to her. She had this energy and magnetism up there that she didn’t have in the “every day.” Acting brought her to life, and I could see big things for her in the future.

It was the last night of the school show’s run that week and just a few days before Christmas Eve. We’d had our last day of classes today and the auditorium was filled with the same feeling our classes had been—giddy joy and cheer. It was a lull before the storm. We would have our fifth-year prelim exams in mid-January, just a week after returning to school from the Christmas and New Year’s break.

I sat with Vicki, who was here with both her parents. There was no tense atmosphere between them, no awkwardness that I could detect, and they were getting along well enough. I had hope for Vicki. So much hope.

When the final curtain fell and my hands ached from clapping, Vicki and I grinned at each other.

“Should we tell her how good she is? I’m afraid it might create a monster,” Vicki joked.

“We should tell her. She deserves to know.”

“Yeah.” She smiled fondly. “Our girl is going to be a superstar.”

“Well, that was great,” Mr. Brown said as we stood up to leave. “You two find Stephanie to congratulate her and we’ll get you at the car.”

Vicki and I wandered out into the corridor outside the auditorium and waited at the double doors that led backstage. “Do you think she’ll change fir—”

“So tell me the truth. How was I?” Steph interrupted.

I spun around, suffused by happiness for my friend. She stood grinning at us and Vicki and I impulsively hugged her. “You were brilliant.”

She laughed in my ear and the three of us hugged each other tight. When we pulled back Steph wore this triumphant look, still somehow managing to be pretty despite the harsh theater makeup she was wearing that looked good onstage but not so much up close. Plus, she was all sweaty. But no wonder! She’d danced her ass off.

“Really,” I said. “Just fantastic, Steph. I’m so proud of you.”

Steph beamed. “Thanks. They’ve already promised me a part in the summer show.”