The Fragile Ordinary(70)
“Except you were on your own.” He bit out a curse.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” he snapped. “I’m going to kill Stevie.”
The idea of him and Stevie getting physical made the fear overthrow my indignation. “No. Leave it. I mean it, Tobias. They will get bored. We just need to wait it out.”
And I needed to remember that this moment in our lives wouldn’t last forever.
Easier said than done.
THE FRAGILE ORDINARYSAMANTHA YOUNG
19
How easy it would be to just disappear again,
But not without you.
For you I’ll stay here and endure all of them,
Just. Please. Stay. True.
—CC
The person I should have been most wary of was Stevie, I guess, because it was clear none of this would be happening to us without his say-so. But as much as I tried to hold on to my hate for him, I still remembered the tears in his eyes when he talked about how sick his mum was, and the fierce way he’d held on to me when he’d hugged me in comfort.
Stevie was in a lot of pain, and I still felt sorry for him. That didn’t mean I wasn’t furious at him. Because he’d set Alana and Jimmy on us, and those two were the ones I was most afraid of. They had aggressive impulse control problems and one of these days they were going to slip Stevie’s leash. I was sure of it.
The verbal abuse continued for the next few weeks, and both Tobias and I had to change our phone numbers because Stevie clearly had shared them with his delinquent friends. I’d gotten one-word texts calling me every insult under the sun, and they’d tried to taunt Tobias into a fight by saying ugly things about me, his mum and even his dad.
It was awful.
Vicki wanted us to report it, but Tobias and I had both agreed to just give it a little more time. Despite everything, we didn’t want to get Stevie in trouble, holding on to hope that our friend was still buried under all that callousness. Plus, neither of us had much faith in the adults in our lives, and I knew that made us reluctant to speak up, too.
Tobias and Vicki refused to let me out of their sight. If I wasn’t with one of them I was with the other. I dreaded school.
I dreaded it in a way I couldn’t believe I dreaded it. It was even worse than the days of primary six and my teacher from hell, even worse than Heather’s petty stunts. What I hated most was not knowing what was going to happen when I got to school. Would it be words meant to shame and humiliate me? Or would it finally progress and become physical? I had to hope Stevie would never allow that to happen, but I had to wonder if he was just too far gone to care anymore.
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach never left me as I waited apprehensively for their next move.
Our bullies were taking a toll on my and Tobias’s burgeoning relationship. Some might say he was just handling me with care, but it felt like he’d put this wall up between us when it came to being romantic with each other. His kisses were never more than quick pecks on the lips, and when he held me he could have been a brother hugging his sister. I was starting to seriously worry that he’d decided he didn’t want me anymore. It would be understandably difficult for him to broach the subject, considering what we’d put ourselves through to be together.
I wanted to talk with him about it.
But I was scared of what he might say.
The words were on the tip of my tongue as Tobias lay sprawled on my bed with our Spanish homework scattered in front of us. In true Scottish winter fashion, it was stormy outside with the wind lashing rain against my window. I was lying next to Tobias, with my elbow bent and my head supported in the palm of my hand. I chewed on a pen, studying his handsome face as he frowned at the essay he was working on.
His phone buzzed between us, jolting me out of my anxious musings. He flicked it open and the corners of his mouth turned up a little. “Who is it?” I blurted out, envious of anyone who could make him smile.
“Luke Macintyre.”
I nodded. Luke was in the year above us and he was on the rugby team. “What does he want?”
Tobias shrugged, putting his phone back down. “He was just inviting me to go hang out with him and some of the team.”
Never wanting to be the kind of girl who would stop him from seeing his friends, I insisted he should go. He shook his head.
“Tobias, I’m fine.”
His gaze met mine, his filled with way more worry than a teenage boy’s should be. “You say that but I know it’s not true.”
Frustrated by his belief that I couldn’t handle myself I sat up. “Look, are things great right now? No. They are not. But—and I really appreciate it, I do—I don’t need twenty-four-hour surveillance and protection. I’m in my room, safe and sound.”
He grinned at my exasperation. “Have you ever considered that I might just prefer hanging out with you?”
I rolled my eyes at his teasing and shoved him playfully, but Tobias grabbed my hand before I could pull back, and he tugged on it. When I fell against him with a startled laugh, surprise and heat flashed through me when his lips came down on mine and he kissed me.
Really kissed me this time.
When I touched my tongue against his, his groan vibrated deliciously into my mouth and I whimpered a little, needing him closer. Our papers crinkled beneath us as Tobias rolled into me, his strong body pressing mine to my mattress. My hands curled in his hair as I willed his hands to move from my waist. Anywhere. Everywhere. I just wanted him to touch me. Trying to encourage some wickedness, I shifted my leg over his hip so he shifted deeper against me.