The Art of Losing(68)

I nodded. Raf would be happy to know that I’d be writing. Except . . . he didn’t want to talk to me.

I bit my lip to keep from crying, but Dr. Talia wasn’t buying it and pushed a tissue box across her desk to me.

“We’ve got a lot to unpack here,” she said. “Are you free to come back next week at the same time?”

I was, of course, and I was willing, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. I knew I had issues, but hearing it, crying about it, talking about all the things I’d been bottling up—it took a lot out of me. I was exhausted as I left the cozy comfort of Dr. Talia’s office. And I spent the rest of the afternoon in bed.

Mom and I were visiting Audrey the next day to pick up her dirty laundry and deliver clean clothes. I’d snuck in some junk food, which wasn’t prohibited by the rehab center, but by Mom. She spent about an hour tidying up around the room, stacking books and putting clothes away. She didn’t seem to know what to do with herself now that Audrey was improving and didn’t need her as much.

Finally, she ran out of pretend projects. Audrey and I had barely glanced up from the movie we were watching while she shuffled around, so Mom made the right call when she physically shut it off in order to talk to us.

“I have to go do some work. Your dad will be by before dinner,” she said. “Harley, do you plan to leave soon, too?”

I shook my head. “No, if it’s okay with Audrey, I’ll stick around for a little while.”

Audrey nodded, so Mom kissed us both and left.

“I have a confession,” I said, pausing the movie. It was a superhero movie I had been begging her to watch, and though she was trying, she didn’t seem as interested as I’d hoped she would be.

“What?” she said warily.

“I watched some of your favorite movies while you were in the coma.” I named a few of the ones we’d watched “together” and Audrey’s smile turned to a round O of surprise.

“You?” she said. “The girl who won’t even watch Love Actually with me at Christmas?”

I rolled my eyes. “Half of that movie sucks,” I said. “And I’m not watching the crappy parts just so I can get to the scene with ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You.’”

She shook her head. “You’re just so wrong,” she said.

“My point is,” I said, “that you were right. Some of them are really good. And I’m sorry I made fun of you for watching them.”

She barked a sharp laugh and then insisted I tell her which ones I liked the most. I listed off a few of my favorites, and she made me tell her which scenes I liked.

“Is that why you decided to go out with Raf?” she asked after grilling me. She had a knowing smile. “Because you were inspired by all the love stories?”

“How did you know about Raf?” I said.

She looked guilty. “Mom,” she said. “She told me you guys were ‘spending time together.’”

I tried to hide the smile that crept onto my face, but she saw it and pointed at me with a knowing grin. “You like him,” she said.

“I do,” I said. “But we’re not together.”

“Why not?” she said.

I held in the sigh that I wanted to release and debated how much to tell her. I didn’t want to burden her, but I also couldn’t explain why his relapse hurt so much without telling her about Mike and his cheating.

“It’s too soon,” I said instead.

“You mean after Mike?” she said. I nodded. “Harley, can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” I answered.

“Was it because of me?” she asked, her voice small. “You and Mike breaking up, I mean.”

My heart beat loudly in my chest while I wondered if she had finally remembered what had really happened the night of the accident. Mom and Dad had been honest with her about the fact that she’d been in a car with Mike and that he was drunk. The doctors said that it was best to tell her as much as we thought she could handle, in case it triggered memories. It hadn’t—Audrey still couldn’t remember any of the events of that night—but at least if she did ever remember what she did, maybe it wouldn’t be as much of a shock.

But then she added, “Did you break up because of the accident?”

“No,” I said. “We broke up because of him. He was an asshole. And I was planning to dump him for a while before he ever got into that accident. And he probably knew that when he got drunk that night.”

“Right,” Audrey said. “I forgot.” She shook her head slowly, sadness engulfing her like a fog. “I’ve lost a whole year. And I’m losing more every day that I’m in here.” She hit the railing on her bed with a clenched fist.

I moved to sit on her bed, facing her. “I know this sucks. So much,” I said. “But you will work to get your life back. You’re too stubborn not to.”

Audrey nodded. She was silent, but I could tell she was feeling a little better. She reached her arms out and I fell into them, hugging her until I felt like I might break her ribs.

“You’re the stubborn one,” she said finally.

I laughed as I released her. Just then, there was a knock on the door and Neema walked in. She saw Audrey’s tears and turned on me.