Shut Out(19)

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Cash said. “I think you’re…”

I looked up at him just as he trailed off. It was too dark to tell, but I thought he was blushing.

“I’m what?”

He cleared his throat and ran a hand over his hair. I wanted to touch it, feel the short, dark strands. “I think you’re kind of amazing.”

One, two…

I was holding my breath, my whole body tense as I waited for his next words. Then I realized, with a little bit of a shock, that it was the first time I’d been anxious in a few hours. He’d had me so relaxed, so at ease—until now.

Three, four…

What was he going to say? What did I want him to say?

“I mean,” he added, “you are surprisingly good at the Star Game. Until tonight, I’d never found anyone who could compete with me.”

“Do you, um, play with many other people?”

“Well… no. Honestly, you’re the only other person I’ve played with besides my mom. We played when we’d go camping when I was a kid, but that’s been years. I usually just do this on my own. So… you’re the first person to be able to compete with me. No lie.”

“So… your mom really sucks at the game, huh?”

Cash laughed. “She couldn’t even make a triangle… but I was nine, so she may have been letting me win.”

“The way you’re letting me win right now?”

“Yeah… just much more subtle. I never would have guessed back then that she was helping me.”

Before I could respond, I felt Cash’s hand wrap around mine. He nudged my index finger out and pointed it to the sky.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “I haven’t challenged you yet.”

“No,” he said. “But I just saw one on my own. Look at this.”

And I watched as Cash traced my finger along a line of stars, following a few more into a curve, and then another, until a long line connected them all at a point.

“A heart,” I murmured.

And my own skipped a beat.

I cleared my throat. “You know, that’s, um, a little cheesy.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

I turned toward Cash just as he turned toward me. I closed my hand over his, and then he was leaning and I was leaning and it felt like a gravitational pull. Like moving toward Cash was the most natural thing in the world.

And that’s the way the kiss felt, too. Natural. Like I’d been kissing him forever. Like we were supposed to be kissing each other at that moment. Maybe for every moment after.

My phone buzzed in my back pocket just as Cash’s free hand moved up to cup my cheek.

“Sorry,” I murmured into his mouth as I pulled away. “It might be an emergency… or something.”

He nodded and turned away, running a hand over his head again.

When I flipped open my phone, I found a text from Chloe.

Going back 2 shanes place. Can u get another ride or want me 2 take u back now?

I glanced over at Cash and felt the butterflies beating their wings against my rib cage. Four hours ago, I would have given anything to leave this place. But now, as it approached midnight, I wanted nothing more than to stay here. Or be wherever Cash was, anyway.

“Um, hey,” I said, summoning all of my nerve. “Do… do you think you can give me a ride home when you take your friends?”

He turned to look at me. “Yeah, of course. There’ll be room in my car.”

“Great. Thank you. My ride is leaving and… well, let me text her.”

I replied to Chloe and shoved my phone into my pocket. I turned back to Cash, and he smiled.

And kissed me again.


I gave Cash directions to my place after he drove his drunk friends home about an hour later. It was with some regret that I watched my house draw nearer. I didn’t want the night to end. I didn’t want to be away from Cash.

Everything about Cash made me melt. The smell of his cologne. The way he said my name. The constant spark in his green eyes. And knowing that no girl had gotten this far with him—knowing that I had kissed Mr. Unattainable and that he’d called me amazing—made me feel special and real and giddy.

We’d spent only a few hours together, but I already felt so connected to Cash. Being myself with him, relaxing around him, came so easily. More easily than it did with anyone else.

We made out in his car for a few minutes after we pulled into my driveway. Slow and easy. He didn’t push me further than I wanted, and I was grateful. I was still getting over Randy, after all. I didn’t want to rush anything new.

But then he was pulling away from me. His thumb traced along my lower lip as he said, “You should go inside. You don’t want to worry your parents.”

“Just my dad,” I murmured, wanting to keep kissing him but knowing he was right. If Dad woke up and found the door still unlocked, waiting for me, he’d be angry. I was already an hour past curfew—banking on the fact that he’d go to bed early and never know the difference.

“Give me your phone,” I said.

Cash handed me his cell phone, an old-school Nokia like they’d had when I was in sixth grade. I couldn’t help smiling as I programmed my number in for him. He grinned at me when I handed it back, and he kissed me one last time. Quick. Smooth. Leaving me longing for more.