Shut Out(23)

I nodded, not trusting myself to say anything. It seemed like every time I opened my mouth around Cash, I said things I shouldn’t. I had a boyfriend, after all. One I really loved. I didn’t know what it was about Cash, either. I wasn’t normally the flirting type—far from it. And I didn’t even like him. Not anymore.

I also didn’t understand why he was working at the library with me right now. Didn’t he have soccer practice? Friends to hang out with? Other girls to reject?

“Why are you here?”

Crap. The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. We’d just pushed the cart against the wall of the Fiction section, and I was crouched on the floor, staring up at Cash as he handed me a copy of It by Stephen King that needed to go on the bottom shelf.

“Huh?”

I bit my lip, taking the book and putting it on the shelf, making sure the spine was even with those around it. “I-I mean… Why are you working today? Don’t you have soccer practice or something?”

“Oh.” Cash laughed. It was a deep, mature laugh. Not like Randy’s loud, goofy cackle.

I shouldn’t have been comparing the two. God, I was a terrible girlfriend.

“Well,” Cash said, handing me another Stephen King book, “I do technically have practice, but I’ve talked to Coach Lukavics and he’s agreed to let me miss for work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

“Why?” I asked. “Don’t you need the practice? I’m not saying you’re bad and need practice—you’re good at soccer—I mean, when I’ve seen you play before, which was, like, once when I was passing by the field to get to the concession stand during a football game, so I didn’t see much, but…” I took a deep breath. I was a babbling idiot. I hated it. “I just meant, don’t you need to go to practice with the other guys?”

Cash grinned at me—a smug, teasing grin, like the one he’d given me when he knew he was winning that cheesy Star Game of his over the summer. I looked away, wishing I could stop thinking about that night.

“I’m actually working here to help out my parents,” he said as I checked to make sure all of the books on the shelf before me were in the correct order. “My dad just got laid off, so we need a little more money around the house. My mom didn’t want me to, but I decided to get a job to help pay the bills and stuff until Dad can get work again.”

I looked up at him, surprised. “So the money you make here is going to your parents? Wait, sorry, that isn’t my business, I guess.”

“You’re fine,” he said, reaching down a hand. I took it reluctantly, and he pulled me to my feet. “But yeah, it will go to them. They’ll hate taking it from me, but it’s the least I can do to help. I don’t make much here—well, I guess you know that—but I plan to cash the checks and sneak the money into Mom’s purse every two weeks. She’ll find out I’m doing it, but money’s tight, so she can’t really afford to fight me.”

“God, Cash, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s okay,” he assured me. “We all have tough times once in a while, right?”

“Yeah. You’re right.”

I couldn’t help but think of Logan. He’d given up going to grad school to come home and help take care of Dad and me after Mom died. And Cash was doing the same thing—giving up his time, his practice, to help out his family when they hadn’t even asked him to.

Suddenly I realized that my hand was still in his from when he’d pulled me to my feet a few seconds before. I jerked my arm away and stumbled backward, accidentally ramming my hip bone against the nearly empty cart of books. “Ouch! Damn it.” I rubbed my hip, hoping it wouldn’t bruise.

“You okay there?” Cash was staring at me, looking a little amused, with one eyebrow raised like he was about to laugh at me.

“I’m fine.”

“Careful,” he teased. “Those carts… They can be dangerous.”

“Ha, ha,” I mumbled. “All right. We should get back to work; we’re moving too slowly, and there will be other things to shelve soon.”

“Okay, Jenna Junior.”

I buried my face in my hands. God, he was so right. I sounded just like her. “Ugh, sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, reaching around me to grab a John Grisham book off the cart. “To be honest, Lissa, there is no one I’d rather shelve with.”

Right, I thought. That’s some consolation there. He liked me enough to work with me but not enough to give me a real chance. Not enough to call me back.

We worked in silence as we put away the remaining sixteen—yes, I counted—books. No matter what I told myself, I knew I couldn’t hate Cash, especially now that I knew his reason for working here. The fact was, he was a good guy.

A good guy who just… didn’t want me the way I’d wanted him.

Even though I loved Randy and didn’t want to be with Cash anymore, I knew it would be a while before I completely got over his rejection. It was out of my control.





chapter ten


“Pass the popcorn over here, Chloe.”

“Keep your panties on. Let me get a handful first.”

“Is there any more Diet Coke?”