I Was Born for This(36)

We sit there.

‘Don’t you want to go home?’ I say.

Bliss rubs her face, wiping away the rain. ‘My mum said don’t come home. They’ve found out where I live.’

‘God, already?’

‘I fucking hate the internet.’

We continue to sit there.

‘What about Rowan? Do you want to go and find him, or …?’

Bliss chuckles. ‘No. He wants me to go to his, but I shouldn’t be seen with him. That’s exactly what the paparazzi want. And the fans will get angry at me.’

‘Why would the fans get angry?’

She raises an eyebrow. ‘Haven’t you been on Twitter? Most of the fans hate me.’

Oh. That makes sense. The fans want Rowan to be with them, or to be with Jimmy. Anyone else must die.

‘Can’t Rowan help you somehow? Can’t you go meet up with him somewhere safe?’

‘I don’t know,’ she says, then puts her head in her hands. ‘I don’t know what to do.’

Without warning, she lets out a heavy groan, punches the floor, then puts her head in her hands.

It hits me then how serious the situation is for Bliss Lai.

Her life will never be the same ever again.

‘Do you … do you want to come back to mine for a little bit?’ I say.

Bliss’s head snaps up to look at me.

‘I mean, I’m staying with a friend right now, but I’m sure she won’t mind … She really likes The Ark as well, but … I mean … if you don’t mind a bit of fangirling every now and then … I’m sure she’ll understand—’

‘Why would you want to help me?!’ she says abruptly. She shakes her head and laughs. ‘Genuinely. Like, you know you’re not going to get to meet them, right? You’re not gonna get to meet The Ark because of this.’

‘I’m just a wonderful human being, to be honest,’ I say, but the sarcasm is too obvious.

‘Seriously, though,’ she says. ‘Why?’

Why would I want to help her?

Part of me knows it’s what God wants. It’s the good thing, and the right thing, to help someone in a horrible situation.

But another part of me knows that this is because of The Ark.

Because I fucking live to serve them too.

‘I just want to do something good,’ I say.

‘Living up to your name,’ says Bliss, smiling.

‘Not yet,’ I say. ‘Hopefully one day.’

‘I think you’re doing well so far.’

I want to say that she’s the only one who believes that, but I don’t, and instead, I take out my phone, find Juliet’s number, and call her.

‘Hey, Angel, you okay?’

‘Juliet,’ I say, ‘okay. You might wanna sit down for this, my guy.’





‘Hey, Jimmy, you okay?’

Lister is standing in my bedroom doorway. I am lying in bed, trying to watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine on my TV, but I can’t concentrate on it, and I have no idea what’s going on. I just keep laughing at random things Holt says without really understanding the joke.

‘Yeah,’ I say.

Lister frowns. He’s still only wearing boxers and a hoodie. He has a cigarette in one hand.

‘Don’t smoke,’ I say. ‘You’ll die.’

Lister looks at the cigarette, as if unaware that it’d been in his hand.

‘Yeah,’ he says, looking back at me.

He wanders over and falls onto the bed next to me, mousy hair spilling over the pillow. He puts out his cigarette on a coaster on my bedside table.

‘What’ve you been up to?’ I ask.

‘Not much. Just called my mum and … you know … sent her some money …’ His voice trails off.

We lie in silence for a few moments, before he takes my injured hand and lifts it into the air, studying the bandage and the few spots of blood that have seeped through.

‘You’re an idiot,’ he says.

‘Yeah.’

He places my hand gently back on the bed.

We lie there and watch the TV for at least ten minutes before anything more is said. As much as Lister gets on my nerves sometimes, having him here is comforting, in a weird way. It’s the same with Rowan. Though Rowan and I have always been closer, the three of us are family. We’re the only ones who know what it’s like to be in The Ark.

The sound of Rowan playing the piano in the living room drifts through my open bedroom door.

‘I can’t believe you fancy Magnet,’ says Lister.

I roll my head towards him, immediately annoyed. ‘I don’t.’

‘Yeah, you do. Or did. Whatever.’

I look away.

‘He’s a pretentious fame whore,’ Lister continues. ‘He’ll have three singles and then he’ll disappear from the Earth. In ten years he’ll be working for an estate agency.’

That I can actually agree with.

‘It was a mistake,’ I say. ‘I thought he was like us.’

Lister is silent for a moment.

‘No one’s like us, Jimmy,’ he says. ‘I think we’re your only dating options.’

‘Rowan’s straight.’