Don't Kiss the Messenger (Edgelake High School, #1)(42)

“You know what I’m saying,” she said. “You act like yourself around him.”

My eyes were locked on the ground.

“Did I ever tell you what my favorite element is?” I asked. “It’s Francium. It’s wildly reactive,” I said with a smile. “But you’ll never see it. There’s only about an ounce that exists on the planet at one time. It has a life span of about twenty minutes. As soon as it’s formed, it starts to vaporize. It destroys itself in a hot, volatile fit.”

I could feel her eyes on me, studying me. We crossed Library Mall and headed toward The Church.

“That’s all fascinating, CeCe, but why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?” Tuba asked. “Like how you’re falling for Emmett, but he thinks he’s falling for Bryn?”

I sighed. “He is falling for Bryn,” I said.

“He’s into you, CeCe. It’s so obvious.”

I shrugged off her comment. I let it roll off my skin, as translucent and visceral as water.

“Sure, he likes me. We’re friends.” This wasn’t news to me. I had a ton of male friends. I always had.

“You know who he was talking to tonight? You. You guys have chemistry. Emmett and Bryn—they’re like one of those awkward couples you make fun of in a restaurant because they’re completely wrong for each other.”

“That’s not true,” I denied it.

“He and Bryn have nothing in common, CeCe. Fuck. Are you blind?”

She grabbed my arm and made me stop and look at her. She could see the frustration in my eyes. It mirrored hers. “He wants you,” she said.

“Then what am I doing standing here?” I asked. “How come I’m not the one he’s fondling in the lake right now?”

“I don’t know,” Tuba said. “Maybe because you swam away too fast. Maybe because you’re the one that’s afraid of admitting it. When Emmett jumped in after you, I wanted to pull Bryn away. I felt like that was our exit cue. He jumped in after you.”

Her words sunk into my head, but they weren’t making any sense. They broke apart in my mind because I couldn’t accept what she was saying.

“CeCe, it was so awkward at Murphy’s, didn’t you feel it?”

“Not really,” I admitted. I guess I was too busy enjoying the company.

“That’s because you were too busy hitting it off with Emmett,” she read my mind. “You’re falling for him.”

We walked up our porch steps and I sat down. Tuba sat next to me. I sighed and looked up at the clouds. They had moved over the stars like curtains.

“I was watching people walk around campus today,” I told her. “Holding hands and kissing and saying good-bye outside of class. And sometimes I think it’s possible. Sometimes I think I could have that. And then I catch my reflection in a window.” I swallowed and shook my head. “It’s not going to happen for me.”





Chapter Sixteen


Emmett


“So what happened last night?” Scott asked as he stretched next to me on the practice field. “Did you cash that check?” he asked and winked.

I thought about the rest of the night with Bryn. Her hot, slippery body pressed up against mine in the lake. The cold water. The tantalizing juxtaposition of temperatures. Hours of wet kisses.

And then the awkward walk home to her apartment where we said zero words to each other.

The nervous giggles.

The awkward good-bye at the door because suddenly her stomach hurt.

“It was weird,” I said.

Scott smiled. “Weird. Like kinky weird?”

I rolled my eyes at his grinning face. “Would you get your mind out of the gutter?”

He smiled and stretched out his hamstring.

“Have you ever met a girl online?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Sure, on Facebook.”

I nodded. “Well, it’s kind of like that. With Bryn.”

He smirked. “I’m pretty sure you guys were face-to-face last night. The whole skinny dipping part? That night is going down in history,” he said.

“It was a great night,” I agreed.

“CeCe is wild. Tuba told me she pulls those kinds of pranks all the time,” Scott said.

I nodded slowly. CeCe. A part of me felt guilty for what happened last night. I was the first one to jump in after her. At first I thought she was crazy, and then I realized that’s what drew me in. I jumped in first because I was craving her energy. I wanted to soak it in; I wanted it to rub off on me. It was like a magnetic pull.

When she swam away, I wanted to shout after her. I had the strange feeling like I was being pulled in two different directions. CeCe was a friend. A really good friend. But there was more to it than that, something I couldn’t figure out.

“So who’s this girl you met online?” Scott asked. It snapped my attention back to the conversation.

“It’s Bryn,” I said.

His forehead creased in confusion.

“I mean, we mostly email. That’s how we’ve been getting to know each other since we’re on the road half the time. And when she writes to me, it’s amazing. But in person she acts like this self conscious middle-schooler most of the time.”