Don't Kiss the Messenger (Edgelake High School, #1)(38)

God help me.

“No, it’s weird,” I said.

“NOT weird,” Bryn argued. “It’s a totally normal thing one friend would do for another. It’s selfless.”

“But in your case, it’s selfish since your motive for setting me up is purely for your own self gain,” I pointed out.

“I love talking to you, CeCe. You always sound so smart.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Why don’t you get someone else to go out with you and Emmett?” I asked. “Someone with a boyfriend?” I looked around the track at my teammates. “Schmitty’s had a boyfriend forever. Or Lew. She started dating that soccer player.”

“No. It has to be you.”

“It’s not like I can feed you things to say with Emmett right there.”

“You won’t need to. A few words from you will satisfy him. And later on, I can satisfy him in my own way.”

I shook my head. “Forget it.”

I kept my face forward, focused on the lines of the track. I felt my stride lengthen and Bryn adjusted her pace to keep up. I was not going to go on a double date with Bryn and Emmett. I would never put myself through that pain.

“Are you mad at me?” she finally asked. “Did I do something wrong?”

I looked at Bryn and directed my question clearly, so there would be no confusion.

“Bryn, why don’t you just date someone else? There are a hundred other football players at this school.”

Bryn stopped in her tracks. Reflexively, so did I, panting.

“CeCe! Don’t talk crazy!”

“Really. Why don’t you?”

“Because Emmett is the most gorgeous thing walking this Earth.”

I picked up speed, sprinting out the last half mile. Bryn confirmed my fear. Beauty wasn’t the most important thing. It was the only thing.





Chapter Fifteen


CeCe


Saturday night I propped my feet on the coffee table, movie cued up and popcorn only an arm stretch away, when the front door opened.

Bryn walked in, in faded jeans and a loose gray sweater stretched seductively over one shoulder. Her oversize silver hoop earrings elongated her swanlike neck. The only makeup she had on was shiny lip gloss, and she still managed to be stunning.

She stuck her hands on her hips. “That’s what you’re wearing tonight?” She regarded my cotton pajama shorts, fleece socks, and tie-died sweatshirt.

“Is the hipster grunge look out?” I asked with feigned disappointment.

“Tie-dye is always a mistake,” she informed me. “You can’t go out like that.”

“If by out you’re referring to my living room and my evening social plans with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn, then yes, these are my party clothes.”

I threw a piece of popcorn in my mouth, but Bryn commandeered the remote control before I could grab it.

“You can’t stay in on a Saturday night, CeCe. It’s like a law. And it’s depressing.”

Bryn didn’t understand. Going out was depressing. She was used to turning heads when she walked into a room, but for completely different reasons. A few girls on the volleyball team were at Murphy’s playing pool, but I rarely went out on weekends. Too many strangers, too many awkward staring contests. I didn’t mind going to dorm parties where everyone knew me, where I was safe in numbers and walked around with girls large enough to be my bodyguards. I chose classes that forced me to study more than socialize. I utilized a library card so often the glossy finish had been worn to a dull matte.

“It’s just Murphy’s,” she said. “You have to come. I think Emmett’s already annoyed with me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“He wanted us to be alone tonight.”

I shook my head. “Uh-uh,” I said. “I’m not going to be the third wheel.”

“You’re not,” Bryn insisted. “Tuba and Scott are coming. It’s a group date.”

I reassessed the vehicle tire alignment. “There’s not much use for a fifth wheel, either,” I said.

“Look, if you don’t come, then I’m staying here with you. I’m not going to let you be alone.”

Bryn sat on the arm of the couch and thought her presence was doing me a favor. Damn it. Why did people mistake alone time for lonely time? For me, alone time was a rare and treasured luxury in a house with five roommates.

She tossed her wavy hair over her shoulder.

“I think I know what your problem is,” she said. She tapped her chin, thoughtfully. It was a new look for her. I panicked, and for an instant I thought she was picking up on my feelings for Emmett.

“I’ve been reading a little bit,” she said.

“Striking out on a new pilgrimage?” I asked.

“There’s this article that mentioned cognitive dissonance.” Bryn smiled, feeling a surge of pride in saying the words correctly. “It reminded me of you.”

“Ah, huh?” I said. I wondered where the hell she was going with this.

Bryn nodded. “I think…it’s like. Um.”

I folded my hands in my lap and waited patiently.

“It’s like part of you wants to come out tonight and the other part doesn’t and your two parts are constantly at war with each other.”