Wicked Force (Wicked Horse Vegas #4.5)(39)

Ian is slow to rise, as if he’s waiting for me to change my mind and just give up on my desire to speak my mind. I stare resolutely at him as he makes his exit.

When the door closes, I take the seat he vacated and angle it to face my mother. “I’m having major doubts about taking this offer.”

My mom laughs. “That’s my girl, always wanting the best deal. But Ian assures me what they’re offering is fair for the industry.”

I take a breath and shake my head. “No. I am having doubts about accepting at all. I don’t think I want to do this.”

I get no validation back. Instead, my mother scoffs with an impatient wave of her hand—it’s her trademark move to indicate what I’ve said has no merit to her. “Don’t be ridiculous, Joslyn. This is the offer of a lifetime. You’d be stupid not to take it. Now, we need to decide—”

“Mother,” I snap in a brittle voice to get her attention.

She goes rigid and her eyes go wide with shock.

“I need to have a mother/daughter talk with you,” I say in a gentler tone. “I need you to put aside being my business manager and I need you to listen to my worries only as my mother.”

Her face registers nothing back to me. It’s as if I just spoke to her in a foreign language. Has she forgotten completely how to be my mom?

And why did I not do something to change this earlier?

“Mom, please,” I beg her.

Another moment of blank indifference before she sighs, setting back in her chair. “Okay. I’m listening.”

While I doubt she’s listening the way I need her to, I use the opportunity to tell her my concerns. “You know I appreciate everything you do for me, but doing this movie is just not feeling right to me. I mean... when I step out on stage to sing, I might be sick with nerves, yet I feel like I’m supposed to be there. The joy I get is indescribable. It’s what I’m supposed to do with my life.”

I find not an ounce of empathy in her expression, but still, I push forward. “While this opportunity is a once in a lifetime thing—which I truly understand and appreciate—it’s not an opportunity that excites me. It feels...wrong to me.”

“How can you know that?” she asks as she leans forward. “You haven’t even tried it yet. You could get on that movie set and just love it.”

“Or I could be committing myself to months of misery,” I counter.

My mother seems to consider this. She scoots her chair closer to mine and takes my hands. It’s the first motherly move she’s made and it bolsters me.

“Tell me truthfully,” she says in a gentle tone. “How much of this is because you don’t want to leave Kynan?”

I shake my head in frustration that she is so easily dismissing my concerns. “It’s not about him. Yes, I’ll miss him but he’s going to wait for me. He’s been supportive of me doing this.”

My mom cocks a skeptical eyebrow.

I squeeze her hands. “He’s only ever pushed me to go for this. He doesn’t want me to have regrets.”

Pulling her hands from mine, my mom seizes on the Kynan bandwagon. “Then I think you should listen to him. It sounds like wise advice indeed.”

I growl in frustration, curling my hands into fists. “You’re not even listening to me. I am telling you I don’t want this. I know you want it, but I don’t. I don’t want to be an actress. I just want to sing.”

“But when you sing, you are being an actress,” my mom counters, her eyes shining bright. “Every time you step out on that stage, you are acting a role. Sure, you’re singing and your voice is a natural talent, but you are selling yourself to that audience. And fine... you don’t want to be an actress. I accept that. But why not do this one movie, which will undoubtedly lead you to sign with a record label much faster than we can get you there on your Vegas laurels?”

Ugh, I hate that that makes sense. I hate that she actually just validated my feelings like I wanted her to but provided me with a reasonable solution. Take this job, suffer the short term, and have the career of my dreams after.

“Trust me,” my mother murmurs, putting her hands on my shoulders. “I only ever want what’s best for you, and I think this will get you to where you want to be.”

I really, really want to believe her. She’s my mother and there’s no reason not to.





Chapter 19



Kynan



I feel only slightly guilty that I’m playing Solitaire on my phone rather than reviewing the packet of materials Jerico handed me earlier today. He’s taking on our first government contract and while it’s not high-speed black ops type of work, it does involve some sneaky-ass human intelligence gathering in a foreign country filled with sand.

It’s way more exciting than working casino security, but that job is almost wrapped up. We have some sub-contractors in now doing installation on new surveillance equipment. When that’s done, we’ll do staff training with implementation of new security procedures our company formulated, and when that’s done... well, we’re done.

Jerico has been busy drumming up new work. He’s got several private residences under contract for new security systems, and when I say residences, I mean mega-mansions from Texas westward. He’s also set up some private bodyguard work for some politicians in DC and one country music singer in Nashville.