Wicked Force (Wicked Horse Vegas #4.5)(38)

Marshall then turns to Ian. “I want her. The proposed terms we discussed before the first audition still stand if you want the part.”

It’s disconcerting the way they are talking about me as if I’m a piece of meat at auction. None of it is addressed to me. It’s “I want her” and he says to Ian “if you want the part.” I want to say, Hey... wait a minute. Maybe someone should ask me.

But I don’t.

Because why bother? They wouldn’t listen to me anyway.

Marshall and Ian shake on the deal. Justin leaves without a word. Marshall walks out without even acknowledging me, only calling out to Ian, “I’m calling my assistant right now to email you the contract ASAP.”

When the conference room door closes, Ian holds his arms out with a shit-eating grin on his face directed solely at my mother. “What did I tell you, Maddie? I knew she could do it.”

“So did I,” she replies back with smug confidence. And then as an afterthought, she turns to me. “You did great, honey.”

Gee, thanks.

“Let’s sit down and talk about some minor details that we could probably get added to the contract when he sends the first draft over.” Ian pulls out a chair for my mom, and then gives me a sideways glance. “Joslyn... if you want to run out for a coffee or something while we work, there’s a little shop just down the block.”

“That’s a great idea,” my mom says as she beams at me. “Bring us all back some coffee.”

My return smile is over-exaggerated. “Sure. Be glad to.”

But I’m already forgotten as Ian and my mom huddle together with dollar signs in their eyes. I turn and walk out of the conference room, down the hallway, and straight into the bathroom, which is miraculously empty.

I pull out my phone and call Kynan.

He answers almost immediately. “Well?” he asks in a hesitant tone.

“Looks like I’ve got the part,” I say glumly.

Rather than a burst of congratulations, Kynan adjusts his tone to react accordingly to mine. “What’s wrong, Jos? You should be happy right now.”

“Then tell me why I’m not,” I say softly.

He’s silent and I wait.

More silence.

“Kynan?” I say tentatively.

“You accomplished your goal,” he finally says neutrally. “Now you have to ask yourself, do you want to accomplish the next one? You got the part, now do you want to push forward and make the movie? My advice stands the same, Joslyn. Make sure that whatever you do, you do it without regret.”

“What do you think I should do?” I ask him, because it’s clear he’s not willing to stake a contrary position just now.

“I want you to do what makes you happiest,” he says without hesitation but it’s still a hedge. “You do what’s best for you. Not me, not your mom, not Ian. Figure out what is best for you, and you take control of your life. The only thing I will say with complete surety is that if you want this movie, then you have my full support. I’ll wait for you no matter how long you’re gone from me.”

If I thought his words would help push me in one direction or another, I’d be wrong. He’s telling me nothing he hadn’t already reiterated this past week as he helped me practice.

And I get it. Kynan is giving me the room to control my destiny. He, more than anyone, recognizes how little control I’ve had in my life, and if there’s a time to take it back, it’s now.

“I’ve got to go,” I say, almost absently, to Kynan.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah... I’ve got to go get some coffees for everyone. I’ll call you a bit later.”

“Okay,” he says and I hear the worry in his voice. It’s the sweetest sound, knowing he has my back.

“I miss you,” I tell him.

“Miss you more,” he reassures me and then disconnects.

I take my time walking out of the office building. I purposely turn the wrong way from the coffee shop, taking a walk around the entire block to give myself time to think. I eventually get a latte for me and two black coffees for my mom and Ian, not knowing what he likes.

Not caring either, as I’ve got more important things on my mind.

When I push the door of the conference room open, Mom and Ian are in the same spot except they have his laptop open in front of them. She glances up and smiles. “Oh, honey... I’m glad you’re here. We have to decide on some extras we want built into the contract. They’re going to arrange for a place for you to stay near filming but we believe it’s better to ask for a per diem amount so we can choose where we want to stay. And Ian feels the royalty—”

“I need to talk with you privately,” I tell my mother, raising my voice enough to catch her attention.

She goes mute and just blinks at me.

I move my attention to Ian. “If you don’t mind excusing us.”

Ian doesn’t respond but turns to look at my mother for permission. She in turn looks back to me. “Can’t this wait? We have important things to work on.”

My reply is simple. “No. It can’t wait.”

Mom’s lips press into a flat grimace and her voice is tight. “Ian... if you don’t mind excusing us for just a moment. I’m sure this won’t take long.”