Well Suited (Red Lipstick Coalition #4)(75)

The reason I was sweating like an ice cube in a fireplace was a combination of the additional thirty pounds, the hormones required to regulate my body temperature, and the thirty-some-odd faces staring at me.

I kept my eyes on my hands and the task before them—pulling wads of tissue paper out of a pink bag with an elephant on the front.

If it hadn’t been for my friends’ insistence, I wouldn’t have agreed to a baby shower. If I’d fully realized how uncomfortable I’d be as the center of attention, I would have refused.

How bad could it be? Theo had asked me.

Answer: sweaty, itchy, get-me-the-hell-out-of-here bad.

The men who had accompanied their women looked as disenchanted as I felt. At least they had booze. All I had was a stupid lemonade.

Under what felt like obscene mounds of tissue paper was a plethora of breastfeeding supplies. Breast pads. Lanolin—otherwise known as nipple grease. Boob-shaped ice packs. Silicon nipple shields.

Seriously, the word nipple was on every package.

“Thank you, Val,” I said after I’d listed each item aloud for Amelia, who was compiling a list for thank-you notes. “My nipples will be thankful for your thoughtfulness.”

She winked, shooting a finger gun at me. “I’m here for you and your nipples.”

The crowd chuckled.

Rin cleared the paper, taking the gifts from me to repack in the bag as Theo handed me another gift.

“Ooh, that one’s from me!” my mother called, waving at me.

I was immediately terrified.

In the bottom of the bag were little baggies—tea, I realized on inspection. Spearmint, rose hips, red raspberry leaves. I shot her a look when I saw blue cohosh. She was beaming.

“Blue cohosh is dangerous, Mom.”

She waved a hand. “Oh, psh. We’ll use it once you go into labor, not to induce.”

Theo and I shared a look, agreeing silently to put it directly in the trash.

“And that red raspberry leaf tea will help soften your cervix, get you all ready for the baby! I’m just gonna throw it out there that sex will help that, too. You two don’t have to be involved to do her a solid, Theo. Small mercies!”

“This is not the place to discuss my cervix, Mother!”

“Moving on!” Amelia chimed too cheerfully and far too loud, her face the color of a rutabaga as someone handed me another present, defusing the bomb with legs that was my mother.

I felt like the Queen of Sheba with attendees waiting and my king at my side.

Theo was close enough that our thighs touched, our chairs set up like thrones in front of our friends and family. He was probably another reason for the sweat list. We hadn’t been this close in what felt like forever. The contact had me hot all over and fighting the urge to climb into his lap and kiss him.

The weeks that had passed did nothing to quell my feelings for him. We’d at least found a routine, a new normal, a way to be friends.

And I hated it.

I hated being in the room with him without being able to touch him. The tension was almost unbearable, the unspoken words screaming between us. Even when we felt almost normal, the shadow of what we once had been hung over us like a thunderhead.

But we’d settled into it as best we could. Theo seemed to be faring better than me. The last few weeks, he’d softened, smiling more, avoiding me less.

To be honest, that made it all so much worse.

Worse and so much better. Because it was a taste of what I’d had once, and that taste reminded me that I was starving to death.

He smiled at me, and I wondered how he wasn’t sweating at all. He had a full goddamn suit on. I wore a black sundress with a light cardigan the color of an apple, and I felt like I was about to combust. The bottom layer of my bangs stuck to my forehead, and my breasts, which had doubled in size, sat heavy on the shelf of my belly. I brushed the back of my hand on my forehead, and it came away damp.

“Is there more?” I asked pitifully.

“Nope. You did it,” he said.

“Oh, thank God,” I breathed.

Rin busied herself combining things into bags and moving things out of the way while my mom helped her clean up remnants of paper and tape and ribbon. Amelia stood, hooking her pen in her notebook with a blissful smile on her face. She’d just started to show, and she looked beautiful—small and glowing and all belly. I, on the other hand, looked like a hippopotamus—shiny, fat, and grumpy.

“All right, it’s time for games!” she cheered.

The men in the room collectively sighed. I buckled, my eyes widening and back straightening.

I reached for Theo’s hand without realizing, and he spoke just when I noticed. “Hey, let’s take five first. Everybody grab a refill before Amelia forces you all to make toilet paper diapers on your boyfriends.”

I sighed, relieved. “Thank you,” I breathed.

“Come with me,” he said, helping me to stand and steering me toward the stairs. He snagged a fresh lemonade off the table on the way, and once we were upstairs, he headed us to the patio.

The second we were outside, I felt ten pounds lighter. The breeze was light, touched with a chill that felt like heaven on my overheated skin. I sighed, twisting my hair to expose my neck.

He handed me the paper cup, which I took, drinking greedily. Another sigh when it was gone, and his big hands took the rope of hair and lifted it up, fanning my bare neck with a baby bingo card he’d pulled from his pocket.