Unmarriageable(24)



‘Fiede Fecker’s mother-in-law looked most unhappy,’ Sherry said.

‘I was unhappy,’ Mari said, ‘at the dancing and singing, especially in an unsegregated gathering.’

‘Oh God!’ Lady said. ‘The high priestess has begun!’

‘Mari, if Allah forbade mixed company,’ Mr Binat said, without taking his eyes off the road, ‘then holy pilgrimages would be segregated.’

Mari decided to use her inhaler because she didn’t know what to say.

‘Live and let live, Mari,’ Alys said encouragingly.

‘You’re such a hypocrite, Alys,’ Lady said. ‘You don’t let me “live and let live”.’

‘You humiliated us, Lady,’ Jena said quietly. ‘You humiliated me. What must Bungles and his sisters be saying about us.’

‘Jena, don’t be angry with me,’ Lady said. ‘I apologised, didn’t I? Which is more than that fat man, Jaans, did after calling me “Ladies’ Room”.’

‘Jaans is hell-bound for sure,’ Mari muttered.

‘So is that arrogant Darsee,’ Mrs Binat said, ‘darzee ka bacha, son of a tailor.’

‘The truth is,’ Sherry said, balancing on Alys’s knees in the cramped car as Mr Binat swerved to avoid a donkey in the road, ‘whether Darsee descends from darzees or dhobis is immaterial because, at present, he is A list, and who can blame him for being proud and thinking no one is good enough for him?’

‘I’d allow him a smidgeon of an ego,’ Alys said, ‘if he hadn’t destroyed mine.’

‘He was having a private conversation, Alys,’ Jena said. ‘Not that any of what he said is true, but you weren’t meant to hear it, and I’m sure he’d be upset to know that you had and were hurt by it.’

‘Jena,’ Alys said, ‘can you please stop supposing people are nicer than they are?’

‘Our Jena is such a sweet soul,’ Mrs Binat said.

‘Doesn’t Darsee know pride comes before a fall?’ Alys asked. ‘Who the hell does he think he is!’

‘Your boss’s boss,’ Sherry said solemnly, ‘as it turns out.’

‘I’ll resign,’ Alys said.

‘You’ll do no such thing,’ Mrs Binat said sharply. ‘Barkat, tell your brainless daughter that she’d better not do anything impulsive. If anything, she should be asking for a raise.’

Mr Binat caught Alys’s gaze in the rear-view mirror.

‘Alysba, my princess,’ he said, ‘why are you letting some spoilt rich boy cause you a single second’s upset? You are not stupid. You are not unattractive. You are so smart. You are so beautiful. Let him look down on Reader’s Digest and Good Housekeeping. You should be proud that you are an equal-opportunity reader and will read whatever you can get your hands on – highbrow, middlebrow, lowbrow.’

‘Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him,’ Mari said, ‘is said to have said, “He who has in his heart the weight of an atom of pride shall not enter paradise.” In my humble opinion, pride is a fairly common sin, because everyone thinks very highly of themselves. And vanity is no different. We are vain because we want others to regard us as highly as we regard ourselves. He’s hurt your pride, Alys, because you are vain. In that respect, you and Darsee are the same.’

‘Be quiet, Mari,’ Mrs Binat said. ‘How can you compare your sister to that egotistical descendant of tailors, no matter how elite his schooling. But, his friend, Fahad Bingla – ahahahaha, perfection. All the girls were looking at him, and he was looking at you, Jena.’

Jena blushed.

‘Bungles seems very sweet,’ Alys said. ‘But his sisters are not as nice as they pretend to be.’

‘I disagree,’ Jena said. ‘I thought Hammy and Sammy were very nice.’

‘They were very nice to you,’ Alys said, ‘and when someone is nice to you, of course you are bound to think they are nice.’

‘Bungles’s parents,’ Mrs Binat said, having got the full story from gossiping matrons, ‘live in California. His mother is an anaesthesiologist and very active in the Pakistani community, and his father made a fortune in start-ups. Fahad Bingla’s elder brother, Mushtaq, works with their father and is married to a lawyer named Bonita-Hermosa.’

Years ago, the Bingla family had made a trip to Lahore to get in touch with their roots, and the parents had decided to leave behind the eight-year-old Hammy-Sammy and seven-year-old Bungles, under their grandparents’ tutelage. The siblings had returned to America for university, but after graduating they’d returned to Lahore, because that was home for them.

Hammy and Sammy had long noticed a need for affordable feminine hygiene products in Pakistan and, with Bungles on board, the three siblings ‘borrowed’ money from their parents and set up Modest. The company soon outperformed their modest expectations, thanks to God’s blessings, their hard work, and the demand for good-quality, reasonably priced sanitary napkins and adult nappies. Also, Mrs Binat had been told, they regularly threw good parties and get-togethers and thus became popular on the social scene.

However, not hailing from a pedigreed background could have its drawbacks, no matter having attended the best of schools, and so Sammy had married Sultan ‘Jaans’ Riyasat, a shabby-chic nawab – meaning he came with a coveted surname but zero money. The union turned Sammy and her future children into Riyasats and, thanks to her, Jaans came into money once again. Hammy was on the lookout for an equally illustrious catch.

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